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Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss
Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss

I’m Really Trying To Prove I’m Not My Sister!

1

Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Beyonce, Fashion Tragedy, Solange Knowles | Posted on 29-06-2009

So while Beyonce was preparing to take flight in her pannies at the BET Awards, her sister Solange was channeling her inner Rainbow Brite in this spandexy get-up at the Annual LGBT Pride parade in San Francisco over the weekend.

Well, pose for the camera now…click, click honey.  You are working that, uhm, nail polish?
I got nothing.
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Brewing: Shady Sharpton

1

Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Al Sharpton, Brewing, Michael Jackson | Posted on 29-06-2009

Damn I lost one-hundred dollars to my Granny bookie! I bet her it would take Shady Sharpton three days to inject his “for-profit” foundation havin’ ass into the Michael Jackson fiasco when it took five. Sharpton and Katherine’s baby-daddy gave a press conference today to discuss the pop star’s estate. From what I can make out between the rambling, Joe feels the family needs to be cautious to preserve Michael’s legacy. Makes sense to me. When reporters pressed him on a time frame for funeral arrangements he responded, “didn’t I just answer that question?” Then he plugged his record company. But back to Al. Have you no shame? What is your purpose here really? These opportunists need to fade to black, stat!

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Cornball Corner: The Hamburglar

34

Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Cornball corner | Posted on 29-06-2009


What is it about the colored and fast food joints? Police arrested this Hungry-Hungry-Hippo after he called 911 repeatedly claiming he got short-changed from a McDonald’s ringer-upper near Portland. 23-year-old Jeremy Martin told police he gave the girl at the window a ten dollar bill but only got a “burger and a fry”. Dispatchers told him to step, but he kept calling. So they hauled his bloated ass to the clink. Big boy you are the Brew’s Cornball of the week, weak, weak!

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Brew Beauty: Wax On, Wax Off!

99

Posted by admin | Posted in Beauty, Health, Waxing | Posted on 29-06-2009

If you’re like me, you like to keep your vagicat in a silky, smooth state. Perhaps you leave a strip, just clean up the edges or you go for the full Monty and wax it all off. Whatever your pleasure, beware, there are some hazards to bikini waxing.

MSN reports one New York woman got a wax and wound up with something called cellulitis (sounds naaastay). It’s a potentially life-threatening bacterial infection of the skin. It nearly killed the woman. She spent 15 days in the hospital. Waxing pulls off the top layers of the skin which creates an opening for bacteria to walk right in. And voila… you’ve got cellulitis!

So, here are some tips to keeping your vajj smooth and your butt alive:

  1. Choose your waxer carefully – Just like you do background checks on a man or a potential hairdresser, make sure the wax place is clean!
  2. Ask what type of wax is being used – make sure it’s chemical-free
  3. Watch out for dirty birdies – Did the waxer clean her funky hands? Is she double dipping the wax? Ya know, stuff like that.
  4. Buy yourself some post-shave/wax cream – That will keep bumps from appearing because you don’t want to look like the before photo in the Magic Shave commercials.
  5. Watch out for infection – Duh!

Happy waxing ladies (and, well, gents…how you doin’?).

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Gone To The Great Infomercial In The Sky

7

Posted by admin | Posted in Billy Mays, rip | Posted on 29-06-2009

Amid all the gangstaliciousness at the BET Awards, we managed to lose another one.

Popular TV pitchman Billy Mays was found dead in his home on Sunday. He likely died from a pulmonary embolism in his Florida home. Mays had an enlarged heart but results of his autopsy won’t be known for weeks.

Mays became famous for his pitches of various household products like Kaboom! and Oxi Clean.

In an odd twist, Mays was on a Saturday flight that had a round landing. He reportedly hit his head during the landing. But officials say there was no sign of head trauma.

Mays was just 50 years old. Man, life is so short.

Let’s all pour out a little Oxi Clean dust in his honor.

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