Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Old French Wh@re, Uncategorized | Posted on 30-06-2010
The woman above is not necessarily a whore or French. Please don’t sue. We have no money.
Please welcome the newest addition to the Brew Family. While the Dudes give you perspective into the several different (often scary) ways the male mind works and help your heart to be smart; our friend Babette LeMoan, retired from the world’s oldest profession, (AND she’s from French! ) wants to help you with your down belows. She knows her way around le boudoir (and le backseat), and will answer any question of a sensual nature. There’s not a sexytime problem she can’t fix, when you put Babette in the mix!
Without Further ado, Old French Whore…
Allo, Brewchies!! , you may call me Frenchie, mon petites! Eet is soo bon, to be here to azzist you weeth your problems avec le passion! Let us get right to it, shall we? OUI!
I met this really great guy, he’s fun, he’s handsome and smart. I’m very attracted to him, but he has a very small penis. I’m talking about the size of my thumb. What do I do with that?! I have never encountered anything like this ever! I don’t want to dump him BUT, in this world of STDs and AIDS.. I like to have the encounters I have actually COUNT. If you know what I mean?!
So Small It HurTs!
Ahhhhh, this classique, conundrum. Great homme, wee peepee. Une of all, let’s get these myths out of the way. It is NOT le motion of zee ocean. It IS THE SIZE OF THE SHIP! Who wants to ride a dingy?! Non, non, non! That said, you can not throw out the babydick with the bathwater. That is just the reality of the situation. A man is more than the sum of his tiny little parts. Ask him if he will not be creative in ”other ways”.. . SEE MY VERY NOT SAFE FOR WORK LINK. If he is adamant about not ”aiding the sitution’ then his ego is grander than his privacies-which is another problem and I would advise walking away And personally, this is just me, I would tell him exactly why. EX: ”JEAN, I CANNOT FEEL YOUR PETITE LOINS WHEN YOU CLAIM THEY ENGAGED IN THE COITUS! IT IS NOT ME, IT IS YOU. BONJOUR!”
We are doing a disservice when we lie to these men to protect their egos. As you negroes (ooh I do so love that Josephine Baker) say: ’TELL ZEE TRUTH SHAME ZEE DEVIL!”
That is all,
Please to send ANY questions for Frenchy, care of Elphaba (firstname.lastname@example.org, oh even that Elphie knows.. 69 is prime–well minus 2!)