I swear, if I write about one more wedding today that doesn’t include me or a ring on my finger…

Anyway, Chelsea Clinton is married. Peep it.

Chelsea Clinton tied the knot with Marc Mezvinsky in front of 500 guests today in Rhinebeck, NY. Details are still coming out, but you can find out more by hopping over to Gawker.

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The wedding train rolls on…first T.I. & Tiny go on their whirlwind tour. Then, Chelsea Clinton and her boo tie the knot in New York. Now, there’s word Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz crawled on the piano jumped the broom in Corsica today.

Miss Info reports…

The couple brought together an intimate gathering of family and friends and celebrated their new marriage and their baby on the way, aboard a 260-foot yacht on the Mediterranean Sea, near Sardinia’s uber-exclusive Costa Smeralda enclave* (think St.Tropez-swag on 100-thousand-trillion, lol).

Obviously because Swizz and AK aren’t Italian citizens, they got officially hitched in the Tri-State area before leaving for Europe. And at that small ceremony, the bride reportedly wore Vera Wang, the groom wore Tom Ford, and, of course, the footwear was all Louboutin.

Swizzy had two bachelor parties (hmm…hasn’t he partied up and sown his oats enough?…but, I digress).

Congrats to the happy couple!

Jakes Van Der Watt / PR Photos
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The man responsible for this week’s f*ckery on the innawebs, Antoine Dodson, is a rising star! If you missed the original clip of how he saved his sister from an intruduer, click here.

Well, now Mr. Dodson is reacting to his newfound fame…

Now, runteldat!

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Captain James T. Kirk scored an interview with the man who proved black people could be serial killers (adding the conspiracy theory that we’re closer to the end of days… #justsayin). William Shatner’s interview with Lee Boyd Malvo (the younger half of the DC sniper duo) turned up some new information. Malvo claims that he and the other sniper, John Muhammad, were supposed to have help. Malvo says “there were supposed to be three to four snipers with silenced weapons.”

So, how did “the Priceline guy” score the interview in the first place? He asked! Shatner got 20 minutes on the phone with Malvo for his new show, “Aftermath,” airing on the Biography Channel. Shatner came up with the show idea and sold it to the network. “Aftermath” is about what happens in a person’s life after he/she leaves the 27-hour news cycle.

A&E aired a preview of the series, but “Aftermath” premieres Monday, August 2nd at 10 pm (ET) on the Biography Channel.

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Uh oh! Designer Cesare Paciotti is coming for Christian Louboutin’s sole. The designer launched a new collection that features leather and lace art that can only be seen from the soles of the shoes.

This pair of Snakeskin Lace Up Sandals will set you back $850 and some of the shoes in the collection are encrusted with Swarovski crystals.

So in 2010…maybe a simple red bottom isn’t enough?!?

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Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have called off their wedding (for now)! But, they say it’s not because Levi’s ex-girlfriend Lanesia Garcia is pregnant. Garcia claims Levi is not the father of her child. Word is Bristol and Levi called off their short-lived engagement because of another ex-girlfriend of Levi’s. This dude got more exes than Texas. Johnston’s ex, Briana Plum, said some nasty things about Bristol in an interview. Us mag reports you can blame Facebook for the failed engagement. Bristol saw some photo on Facebook of Briana and Levi that made her say “let’s hold off on the engagement.”

It’s not clear how this will affect the reality show they were reportedly working on.

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After weeks of speculation (and 9 years of “dating”), we told you last night that Clifford and Tameka finally made it official at a Miami courthouse. Of course, no celebrity pair can simply get married at the courthouse. Save that ish for the hood and the movies (*looking at you Carrie & Mr. Big*). So, Tip and his lady love are planning a 3 city wedding tour.

Us Weekly reports the Harris’ will remix their vows today in a small ceremony on a private island off the coast of Miami (Cuba?). Tiny will wear Valentino for that wedding. Then, they’ll jet off to Atlanta for a reception this afternoon, only to fly to Las Vegas for a reception tonight.

This is better than the James Brown funeral tour.

We polled some of our readers to find out just what wedding gifts they’d get the couple. Hop over to our Facebook page for the hilarious responses.

Congrats to T.I., Tiny and their kids (and the ring).

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My fellow sisters in thickness rejoice! New York City’s Saks Fifth Avenue is increasing its plus-sized collection by bringing in a slew of new options from top-notch designers, including the likes of Akris, Giorgio Armani, Carolina Herrera (my fashion fairy godmother… in my head), Chanel, Escada, Donna Karan, St. John, Oscar de la Renta, Dolce & Gabbana, Max Mara, Valentino, Michael Kors, Yves Saint Laurent, Alexander McQueen, Fendi and Roberto Cavalli. Whew! What a list. Some designers will offer up to a size 20. But, word is (per usual) you’ll only find one of each size in each item. Sigh! If the New York experiment goes well, other Saks stores will follow their lead.

Justin Timberlake is trying to bring sexy back to Tarjay. His William Rast clothing line (which includes denim, outerwear and sportswear for men and women) will be sold for a limited, one month run at Target this December.

And Madonna’s aiming for your back to school pesos. Her juniors fashion line, “Material Girl,” debuts next week at Macy’s. Madge’s 13 year old daughter Lourdes helped style the collection and Gossip Girl actress and budding gossip blog train wreck Taylor Momsen is the face of the clothing line.

Image via Racked
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Kanye West is done interrupting country stars, lighting Amber Rose’s cigarettes and swigging Henny on red carpets. So it must be time for him to do some album promo. Kanye and his ego made news all week: a stop at Facebook’s headquarters; an impromptu Twitter headquarters performance and he actually joined Twitter this week (something he swore he didn’t need to do).

The PR machine oiled its parts just enough to drop this still image from Kanye’s soon-to-be released “Power” video where he’s wearing a ridiculously big and expensive Horus neckpiece.

The New York Times got a glimpse of the new video and dropped this recap of what you’ll see when “Power” comes out next week:

Mr. West is seen standing imposingly with a heavy chain around his neck. As Mr. West raps, the camera slowly zooms out in one continuous, unedited take to reveal him in a classical structure, surrounded by female attendants who are partly or entirely nude; some kneel before him on all fours, others wear devil horns and still others are suspended upside down from the ceiling. The sword of Damocles hangs precariously over Mr. West’s head, and behind him an unseen executioner is preparing to strike him with a blade.

Um, yeah. Ya boy is back…ego and all.

Photo: Marco Brambilla
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Diddy was not feeling the line of questioning he got during his interview with Nightline co-host Martin Bashir. During the interview, Bashir asked Diddy about the lavish, $400,000 Maybach he bestowed upon his 16 year old son Justin.

“There were times in the interview when I had to give him an ultimatum. The questions weren’t being handled the right way. In hindsight, when I saw him I shouldn’t had done the interview because I know the style of interview that he does . . . The whole thing about giving a Maybach to my son, that’s really like a racist question. You don’t ask White people what they buy their kids.”

#POW!

I still think the car is an insane gift for a kid!

BTW, Bashir (the same guy who grilled Michael Jackson about his lavish lifestyle…among other things) is leaving Nightline and will start as an MSNBC and Dateline correspondent this fall.

Hop over to Media Outrage for the rest of Diddy’s comment…

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Laurence Fishburne’s daughter is set to make her acting debut but it’s proably not a good thing consider her flick will be in the nasty bin at the XXX store. 19-year-old Montana Fishburne said she got into the “film” business after watching Kim Kardashian Ray-J’s former tea bagger rise to fame. Guess she took the red pill?
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Seems like Levi Johnston may be adding ANOTHER baby mamma to the mix. The rumor mill is a buzz with word that while Johnston was broken up with Bristol Palin, he stayed at a Holiday Inn Select with his old boo and well you know how freaky things can get in the telly. So apparently the ex is expected to give birth any day and she claims Levi’s the one. I couldn’t find this on any credible websites so let’s just say stay tuned, eh? Damn we were about to have all types of drama poppin off on 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Hey there jerk dads! Think you got off easy b/c your kids are well beyond the age of child support ? Not so fast!  Being dicked around for 30 plus years, kinda builds up on the soul.  You think we forgot about the time we were sitting on the sofa with our Minnie Mouse purse, and you never showed up?   Or do you think we forgot about the time you decided  you didn’t want to pay college tuition anymore?  This woman in Oklahoma has found an awesome way to flip the bird to her dad.  Eff with his potential earnings!   I kind of love this. Karma. Bladow!

An Oklahoma judicial candidate is fending off a political attack from his daughter, who has taken out a local newspaper ad urging voters: “Do not vote for my dad!” McClain County judicial hopeful John Mantooth’s daughter and son-in-law paid for the quarter-page advertisement, which features a picture of the daughter’s family, highlights cases in which Mantooth has been sued and lists a website the couple started, http://www.donotvoteformydad.com. Mantooth said the bad blood stems from his 1981 divorce from his daughter’s mother. “This is a family issue which should have been kept private,” he said Monday. “I’m very sad about this. I’m very disappointed. I’m hurt, but I love my daughter, and I want things to get better, and I hope they will.” Jan Schill, 31, said she never has had a good relationship with her father and doesn’t think he’d make a good judge. “We just felt like it would be bad if he were to become a judge,” Schill said in a telephone interview from her home in Durango, Colo. “I assumed that he would not appreciate it, but he’s made so many people mad, I’m just another mark on his board of people’s he’s had a beef with.”

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In case you missed the news, Essence magazine, the 40 year old bible of black womanhood hired a white woman. Clutch your pearls! Breathe. Repeat.

Ellianna Placas is the mag’s new fashion director. The hiring move ignited a firestorm on the innawebs (including on our Facebook page), from readers to fashion insiders to those who had once worked for the magazine. In a nutshell, homegirls were pisssssssed! How could a non-black woman tell black women what to wear? Will she know how to dress a black woman’s body? Were any black fashionistas on the short list for the job? Does Essence have an obligation to always hire from within the minority community, particularly since publishing is such a hard field for us? Oh, and the questions went on and on…

Well, Fashionista.com went to the source: editor-in-chief of Essence, Angela Burt-Murray, to find out how Placas got the job. Here’s her emailed response:

“Our new fashion director, Ellianna Placas, is part of a growing fashion team at Essence. We are making a number of new hires in the coming months.

I understand that this issue has struck an emotional chord with our audience, however I selected Ellianna, who has been contributing to the magazine on a freelance basis for the last six months, because of her creativity, vision, the positive reader response to her work and her enthusiasm and respect for the audience and our brand.

We remain committed to celebrating the unique beauty and style of African-American women in Essence magazine and online at Essence.com.”

And there you have it. Burt-Murray also wrote a lengthy opinion piece for The Grio today where she deflected a bit and argued the things black people should be getting upset about (i.e.: poor education, sex trafficking young girls and health care disparities in the black community) largely go ignored. Point taken.

But, I doubt the furor over fashion will end with an email and an opinion piece. For starters, Essence seems to have fallen out of favor with some of its loyal fan base, particularly after the magazine featured Reggie Bush on its “Black Men, Love & Relationships” issue in February. Many readers drew the line at putting a celeb who (at the time) was dating a white woman. That issue ignited so much debate, Essence eventually pulled the comment thread from its website.

I can tell you (an informal survey, if you will), among my circle of friends, we’re not checkin’ for Essence much these days. Many of the topics in the magazine seem to repeat every few months. I mean, how many times can you tell me to “get my money right” or show me how to pin-up my natural? Perhaps, that very reason is exactly why it sounds like Burt-Murray is on a mission to clean house (or spruce it up a bit).

On one hand, as a black woman, I get why hiring a non-black director would seem like a slap in the face to the readership and those who have routinely been shut out of the upper echelon of publishing. But, also, as a media professional, I know that you have to hire smartly for your publication to survive. Placas has a lengthy resume that includes O: The Oprah Magazine and Us Weekly, so it would seem she knows her stuff! But, I sure don’t envy the environment she’s stepping into. Not for one minute. (BTW, I think June Ambrose would have killed it as fashion director)… Anyway…

Placas will make her debut as the new fashion director with the magazine’s 40th anniversary issue this September.

So, what’s your call? Are you upset with the decision to hire a non-black fashion director? Do you even still read Essence? Weigh-in down in our comments section.

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 OK seriously…who is gonna muzzle this maroon? How is it possible that she (and the other 2—side eyeing Sherri and Whoopi) have a platform for their half informed and ill-advised ridiculousness? I’d rather watch an hour of a completely shaved monkey juggling fecal balls, before I watch The View. And YES, that includes tomorrow with mah boo President Obama.

The co-host of “The View” said older women who have led lives of heterosexuality are choosing same-sex partners because men their age are chasing younger women.

“All the older men are going for younger women, leaving the women with no one.” Hasselbeck said on Tuesday.  Joy Behar, was appropriately incredulous.

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Earlier this week, we showed you this pic over on our Facebook page of Usher and Chris Brown sharing a stage in Jamaica. Well, here’s a little video of their “jam session,” hyped by Elephant Man.

I’m quite disappointed in this love fest.  I was hoping for a good dance off.  I really wanted somebody to get served.

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Sometimes picking up the phone for crazy line 1 can be a good thing. It sure makes life more interesting. Just ask Ron Artest. He recently dove into a dodge ball game for Team Zankou. I wonder if his shrink co-signed on this activity?

Real Talk Wednesdays: Something about this dude is actually sexy to this Witch…crazy CAN be good for other activities too ladies

Aubrey has landed a reality show on Oxygen that will chronicle her attempts to salvage her career (she had one??? hmmm, interesting…) So , will ya watch? Huh, will ya?!

T.I. is not feeling the blood suckers on HBO’s True Blood.

“I couldn’t really watch it, but they got into that sh*t heavy. The whole prison damn near shut down. They went crazy for it. There’s a bunch of sex in it, so they were tuning in for that.”

-T.I. in an interview with MTV.

So while you’re stealing cable… inmates are kicking back with Sookie Stackhouse and ish.

Photo: WireImage
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