BREW CHICK ASKS:
“Dudes, I got engaged and it’s time to make up my guest list. I realized a lot of my friends are guys I used to date before my fiance and I ever met. I would love to have them there. Would you feel funny going to an ex’s wedding as a guest? As the groom would you be weirded out knowing there were some fellas there who knew your Bride in the biblical sense?”
What say you?
THE CASHER!: I wouldn’t feel funny going to an ex’s wedding as a guest. Not at all. I would, however, shed an internal tear, reminiscing on the time I hit it. It’s only natural. But you won’t get a “Dwayne Wayne spoils Whitley’s Wedding” scene outta me. Nope. She’s my ex for a reason. And if she’s happy, I’m happy. Part of me would think she only invited me to show that she’s “happy” now. Truly though, I wouldn’t give a shit. Just don’t expect me to be buddy-buddy with the groom. Too much alcohol, and I got some stories for that ass.
As the groom, she better not go there cause if it’s fair game on the invites, I doubt she’d like the outcome. Can you imagine the beautiful bride watching a line of women paying more attention to her husband than giving the courteous compliments to the blushing bride? Then you know the bridesmaids response…”Who is THAT b*tch???”. And I’ve been with some hood chicks that would set it OFF in that mofo…Not a good look. Eloping ain’t such a bad idea. Go with that.
GROSS DUDE: Why do you want to have them there? Are they “genuinely” platonic friends that you talk to all the time? Are these guys married or seriously involved now? I hope you aren’t inviting a slew of single men that u use to knock off to your wedding. That’s not a good look. Your fiance inviting a ton of exs to your wedding too?
Personally…. as your soon to be husband.. I’m probably going to be less than thrilled that there are a dozen other fellas in the church that has blessed various parts of my soon to be wife before I did. As your guy “friend”, If in my mind, I would still fukk u, I probably don’t need to attend your wedding…unless of course… you have single lady friends at or in the wedding that I might be interested in…because now that you are hitched..they are fair game and rest assure, I’m going to be all over them.
PHLIP: I would be a little weirded out if one day one of my exes hit me with a invite to their wedding. It would feel disingenuous and plain shitty, almost as if she were trying to rub my nose in it. That said, not a single one of mine – never minding that I will only TALK to one – will be receiving any notice of my own wedding next fall… That said, I worry about people who maintain close relationships with ex flames. Double that for those who do so while in attempting a relationship with anyone other than one of the exes in question.
THEORNERYONE: Whoever this chick, witch, hitch, ditch, itch, stitch or what ever ladies are calling themselves these days, needs to go look into a mirror and ask herself the following: “Would I allow my fiance to invite, not just one, but all of his gut bucket skeezas aka “friends” to my wedding?” First, any man dumb enough to ask this question needs will be made an example of and the reenactment can be seen on a soon to be produced episode of “Snapped”. Second, any man with a lick of common sense and cares not to entertain drama would leave well enough alone and dismiss the whole thing. But, like many situations in relationships, this one has allowed a true nemesis of the modern hard working, all teeth in the mouth having, well-kept men to rear its ugly mug: the double-standard. The double standard here is women feel justified in asking a question right up there with “I told my jailbird brother Cleophus he can come stay with us…Oh I forgot to mention, he’s a convicted child molester…Here’s his pic in the Post!” 99.8% of men out there would not ask a woman anything that will bring her from a 2 to 80808080808080808080808080808. I spoke with an ex of mine regarding her possibly inviting MY mother and sister to her baby shower. I told her thanks for the offer, but that wouldn’t sit well with me and I know for damn sure it wouldn’t sit well with your man. Sure enough, she had dismissed the whole idea because both men in the equation felt it was a dumb request to begin with. Oh yeah, those .2% of men who ask double-standard questions of women can be seen getting their ass hemmed up and their life chalked on the Oxygen channel on Sundays at 10pm EST/9pm CST.
SUPREME: Lol…I’ve actually been to a few weddings as a guest of a woman I used to mess with. What’s the big deal? As long as y’all still have a good relationship after y’all messed with each other, I see no problem. It ain’t like I’m gonna jump up at the alter and slob her down…or get one last shag in while she’s getting ready to walk down the aisle…And as far as if I was the groom – if you’re a grown man and have issues with the fact that your wife-to-be has a few exes she’s cool with, you need to eat some man-pills ASAP. I mean really – what type of insecure bullcrap is that?? She’s marrying YOU…heaven knows I have exes I’m cool with. If we’re getting married, I’d expect her to know them and be cool with the fact that we’re still friends..,goes both ways. Sounds like a guy who would have major issues with these scenarios might be a cousin of Duncan Hines – you know, kinda *moist*…
BIG IN EUROPE: (Elphaba’s note: I might just change this guys name to DISGUSTING DUDE). Hypothetically speaking (Since everyone KNOWS Big ain’t getting married), If I were getting married to a woman and all of her friends were exes, they could come to see that the “dirty little whore” (That’s what I would call my wife, cause it’s a term of endearment) that they used to plow is being made into a honest woman. Now, THAT being said, it does seem like the perfect storm to make a man have to swallow his fronts over some reminiscing story they will inevitably share with each other. Some one will overhear that shit, it would get back to me, and now, I’ve got to get shit on my shoe. Ex-whore or not (cause Big like em nasty as septic tank), she’s MY Pretty Woman. I’m a motherfuckin RIDER!