Carlos Irwin Estevez is on a one man mission to topple his career and -quite frankly- I’m tuning into this train wreck like it’s appointment television. It’s better than anything Andy Cohen has ever put on Bravo. In case you missed the gems coming from Charlie Sheen’s mouth in the series of radio and TV interviews he’s given during the last week, here’s a rundown of some his greatest hits.

“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It… it’s not available, because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”
-Today Show

“I probably took more [drugs] than anyone could survive. I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear: Go.”
-ABC News

Reporter: Are you worried you’re going to relapse?
“No. Not going to, period the end. I blinked and I cured my brain. Can’t is the cancer of happen.”
-ABC News

“AA was written for normal people. People that don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.”
-Today Show

“If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’” It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.”
-ABC News

“I’m different. I have a different brain, I have a different heart… I got tiger blood, man.”
-ABC News

“I am battle-tested bayonets, bro.”
-The Alex Jones Show

Reporter: Some are saying that you’re bipolar.
“Wow. What does that mean? I’m bi-WINNING.”
-ABC News

“You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me. Boom. That’s the whole movie. That’s life.”
-The Alex Jones Show

“I’m sorry, man, I’ve got magic. And I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air.”
-The Alex Jones Show

“The run I was on made Sinatra, Jagger, Richards, look like droopy-eyed, armless children. I expose people to magic. I expose them to something they’re never going to see in their otherwise boring lives. And I gave that to them. I may forget about them tomorrow, but they’ll live with that memory for the rest of their lives, and that’s a gift, man.”
-ABC News

“I dare anyone to debate me on things.”
-The Alex Jones Show

“They lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives, and then they look at me and they say, ‘I can’t process it.’ Well, no, and you never will, stop trying. Just sit back and enjoy the show.”
-The Alex Jones Show

“Oh wait, can’t process it. Losers. Winning. Buh bye.”
-The Alex Jones Show

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I haven’t been blogging lately, my real life has zapped the last vestiges of  ability to string cohesion  from the  random petty thoughts swimming around in my wonky dome.   Maybe if I just spit  some of it out here, I can get some clarity..

Kick it!

 1. Justin Timberlake is an effing tool. On the Oscars red carpet, last night,when referring to N’Sync said “I was in a little group…moonlighting as a touring group”. Lemme tell you something Timbers, I know you consider yourself a master thespian right now. Dick in the Box was a breakthrough performance, after all. *blink*

But how dare you insult the kids, now adults, who were rolling with your bama ass when you had a wet set and dye job!

I hope Joey opens a can of Fatone on your ass! Kudos though, on leaving that wet blanket (nice arse doe!) girlfriend of yours home, and bringing ya mama. If the rumors are true and you are smooshing the Kunis…kudos again! But seriously, stop throwing people under the bus. You’re cementing your rep as a backstabbing, bama! (The negro collalition will never forget how you did Janet.) #TEAMJCCHAZEZ

I’m a little ashamed of this…but I’ll put it out there anyway.  Watching the news while getting ready for work this morning…doing 10 things at once. I see this straight up hottie on the news.  He’s got that people of indigenous origins swag that I find so intoxicating. I turn the volume up and instantly feel gross, it’s Saif al-Islam Qaddafi.  Son of Libyan Dictator Muammar.  We all know crazy doesn’t fall far from the tree, and homie is proving that in spades. How can someone so insane be, so well…sexy? Open air raids on citizens…check!  Issuing orders to kill protesters? Check! Offering up to outfit supporters with weapons to bust a cap on those who dare challenge your regime? Check and double check. Um, I’m scared, and disgusted…yet aroused.

I mean I’ve dated crazy before (like the guy who boiled chicken breasts and kept themwarm on his dashboard)…but this is certifiable!  I need to call my shrink, I think we have a breakthrough!

CHARLIE EMEFFING SHEEN: “Not a day that cost anybody any money. I missed practice. We’re talking about practice. To quote the great Allen Iverson, practice. Come on guys we’re talking about practice.”  I now see why Charlie Sheen is the highest paid actor on TV. He is made of win.. druggie druggie WIN!  From the notable quotables…to the interviews. Charlie Estevez Sheen, cleaned up is something to behold, so I know Charlie high on that ish, was probably a complete train wreck.  I find it ironic, that the man has been killing himself for years, and celebrated.  (To my confusion, because he is the suckiest actor ever!) But the minute you make a anti Semitic comment — NOW you’re a problem. You don’t think this fool was talking about Jews, Gheys, Negroids, Messicans and Little People!? HE’S A DRUG ADDICT.  Is it somehow less important to hold a drug addict accountable for his safety and the safety of his paid sensual companions and co-workers than political correctness? This society is amazing.

Damn! I wake up on this sleepy Saturday and before I can sip my green tea Brewshyt consumes me. So, Ciara got a gig, now that’s news, but that’s not what this post is about. CiCi appeared on Joan River’s “Fashion Police” and took the opportunity to throw Rihanna under the bus by calling her “not so nice”. Well, word got back to Rihanna and well you know what happens when these youngins get mad nowadays, they turn to the Devil’s playland that is Twitter.
Here’s the first shot:

Then Rihanna went in:

Ciara baby, I love u girl! U hurt my feelings real bad on TV! I’m heartbroken! That’s y I retaliated this way! So sorry! #letsmakeup

02/26/2011 12:39 am via Twitter for BlackBerry®ReplyRetweetFavorite

@rihanna

Rihanna

CiCi gets back:

Trust me Rhianna u dont want to see me on or off the stage

02/26/2011 12:14 am via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@ciara

Ciara

Then Rihanna hits below the belt:

Good luck with bookin that stage u speak of

02/26/2011 12:22 am via Twitter for BlackBerry®ReplyRetweetFavorite

@rihanna

Rihanna

and:

My bad ci, did I 4get to tip u? #howrudeofme

02/26/2011 12:02 am via Twitter for BlackBerry®ReplyRetweetFavorite

@rihanna

Rihanna

#BAM and #POW – I sort of really love Rihanna. It’s also good to be cute and quick!
Then they made up and all is good in Yakiland

Rhi u know its always been love since day 1! Doing shows/everything. you threw me off in that party!Apology accepted. Let’s chat in person

02/26/2011 1:01 am via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@ciara

Ciara

Joke

02/26/2011 2:08 am via Twitter for BlackBerry®ReplyRetweetFavorite

@rihanna

Rihanna

Now, I’m taking this little beef with a grain of salt. Maybe it’s stage to drum up some publicity. Dunno, don’t care, my job is done. Back to my green tea.

So I was chewing on a lamb chop after my workout this evening when an old “Sex And The City” episode came on. This was the one where Carrie introduced her BF Berger to the ladies. So at dinner, Miranda was going on and on about a recent date, when Carrie and Charlotte weighed in on whether they thought he was going to call again. Miranda suddenly turned to Berger for his opinion and he blurted out, “He’s just not that into you!!!”. The entire table paused, waiting for Miranda to open up a can of whoop arse on the newcomer, but she loved his honesty and the night went off with out a hitch. Berger was in with the ladies! That got me thinking. I’ve had it both ways with my GF’s BF’s; I’ve liked some and hated others…really hated them…like really! Now before you get ready to let the “H” word roll off you tongue, let me ‘splain why; I am a fiercely loyal friend, almost to a fault, and when a guy treats my girl wrong, oh it’s a problem! Problem with that line of thinking is while I’m busy holding a grudge because a guy humiliated my friend, she’s busy holding her legs up in the sky that night (if you get my drift)! So I’m wondering; just how important is it for your girls to like your man? Or does it even matter?

Witch Confession… I secretly watch ABC Family shows when no one is around (don’t even get me started on PRETTY LITTLE LIARS!)   GREEK has been a favorite of mine for a couple of years now. It is a cute show on about college years and ‘the others’ Greek System (haven’t seen a step show yet, just sayin’) .  And of course they have the occasional ‘very special episodes’ but  the cast is seriously racially diverse. Two of the 3 leading ladies are of color (so yay to that!) but mostly the one liners are so filthy and  hilarious, I can’t help it. I’m hooked.  And with this post, guess I’m fully out of the corny closet. Oh well. Enjoy the pretty ladies!

 Dilshad (left) Vadsaria (@DilshadVadsaria) was born in Karachi, Pakistan  an industrial seaport that is Pakistan’s largest city, and moved to the US at the age of 6.  According to her IMDB (which HAS to be wrong) she’s  34 playing a college sophomore…so, guess good Pak don’t crack, either! With a degree in biology from University of Delaware, the actress is also a smarty art!

Amber Stevens (@amberonistevens),daughter of radio personality Shadoe Stevens (remember that guy? gah, I’m old!) and a former model. Amber followed her showbiz roots.  A pianist and singer, she also trained with The Groundlings, an improvisational comedy troupe that calls Will Ferrell and Conan O’Brien  alum.  The Beverly Hills bred actress, has been on numerous prime time shows, including this season’s Grey’s Anatomy as a med student who shags Dr. Karev (there are worse side gigs to have).

Head to our Facebook page for our Brew Beauty gallery to see more of  The Girls of GREEK. And while you’re there, “LIKE” us and follow our blog.

@EvaMarcille, nah boo. Nah.

Model/actress Eva Marcille’s new look at NBA All Star weekend in LA…are you feelin’ it?
Spotted
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So I’ve been introducing you to some of the men I’ve encountered throughout my quirky dating life. You already met The Magical Traveling Ninja. Next up, Messy Marvins. A Messy Marvin is just as his name implies; he’s down to hunch, only problem is he’s married-but-claims-he’s-separated-but-still-lives-at-home. And you might not even know his marital status at first . That is until you realize this dude stays taking “day trips” to the next town to do lunch or a flea market, claiming he’s an “explorer”, meanwhile, he’s just trying to get out of the “busted zone”. MM is also real extra at the club.

He’s doing the Amistad freedom dance while up in someone’s face buying drinks with his grocery money until the clock strikes 12, then he’s dashing to the door to make home to his little cul-de-sac by curfew. And although MM constantly talks about getting divorce, his wife most likely has no idea of said plans. She’s blissfully ignorant as she drags him to their Jack & Jill meetings or on couples night (Saturday) that her HBCU boo has gone rogue. MM also does a lot of reminiscing; about their frat days, hey days, hell any day when they were rolling solo and was still the man…. not some 30-something suburban slug. These types hold a Ph.D in messy and tend to be very fun but very sad at times because they see now way out. They try to hold on to part of their life that’s over. MM’s probably married their college sweetheart who played her position throughout his roaring 20s, or a wholesome chick he met a bit later but would make a good mom, like Clair Huxtable.

And although he’s achieved those precieved wants in life: box house in the suburbs, kids and clout, there is still a huge part of him that wants to go against the grain, lay down with Freaky Freida and eat egg sammiches in the morning without a care in the world. My advice? All relationship roads should lead far away from Messy Marvins.

It’s been almost 14 years since the murder of the Notorious B.I.G. Conspiracy theorists have long pointed fingers at members of the rap community, cops or gangs for Biggie’s death, but a new CBS Los Angeles report says there’s evidence the Los Angeles Police Department may have been behind the 1997 killing.

According to AOL’s Black Voices:

The Wallace family filed suit against the LAPD in 2005, bringing forth additional evidence that implicated LAPD officers in the death of Christopher Wallace. The two officers under suspicion are David Mack and Rafael Perez.

Both Perez and Mack are in prison now for unrelated crimes, Mack for bank robbery and Perez for stealing cocaine.

The new evidence involves an alleged conversation between Perez and a cellmate in the L.A. County jail. Mack and Perez were reportedly close confidants with Death Row Records, the label that represented rap artist Tupac Shakur, who was involved in a highly publicized dispute with Biggie.

In sworn statements, the cellmate said that Mack and Perez were on the scene when Biggie was killed, with Perez working security:

“Perez told Mack that Biggie Smalls was in his truck—-circle whose truck?—-Kicking it with someone else in the truck.”

The cellmate says that Perez never said he set up the murder of Biggie Smalls, but that he strongly believes Perez had something to do with the murder. There were hundreds of pages of documents in the inmate’s sworn statements that were not utilized in the original LAPD investigation.

Former LAPD Lead Investigator Russell Poole says that the documents are crucial and that he was frustrated that his investigation in to the murder was thwarted when he got too close to the truth. Poole resigned from the LAPD in 1999.

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Every Black History Month program or salute seems to focus on the heavy hitters, the big players, like Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Marcus Garvey.  The people who  are responsible for starting revolutions. But I don’t think that’s ”Black” History. That’s AMERCIAN HISTORY that we should celebrate, learn and teach our (and I mean the collective masses) EVERY MONTH, not just the one with the least days!

So with that said, the Brew would like to salute the not so obvious contributors to improving the Black Experience.

We salute thee: BLACK NERDS!

I have had a soft spot in my heart for a good black nerd since a high school boo who was better at math than making beats. And while he could dribble a basketball just fine, he was more concerned with the SAT as his ticket into getting into a good school than hoop fame fantasies.  He knew all about current affairs, and actually read books…without pictures, even!  In between teen make-out sessions, we actually TALKED, deep 16-year-old existential type ‘ish. GO FIGURE!  I knew, even as a Teen Witch, that smart was hot. 

Why? Well first of all, I think it’s much more inspiring to be the engineer that designs the car than the buster who kits it out with stupid ass accessories.

  I mean how does anyone even get into a car that sitting on 722” rims? Pogo stick? Rope Ladder?

Dr. Daniel Hale Williams 

  Call me crazy, but I’d rather hold a conversation with the guy who can crack a chest cavity open and massage a heart back to life, than the dude who thinks that hoodrat antics ‘take heart’.   Seriously, screw ”The Game” and it’s mean-spirited depiction of African American friendship and love, and put some images of US that are strong, powerful and smart.  Bring Back Dr. Burke, while you’re at it!  

I applaud those black nerds with business acumen, in the  position to build wealth for under-served communities, rather than posing with the wealth acquired by the illusion of thuggery.   Studio gangstas are laughing their way to the bank, on your hard earned dollars. Why? No one properly respects the NERD!

Critical thinkers are HOT. OK, maybe not this one in particular…but you know what I’m saying.

I think Urkel gave the black nerd a bad rap. He was not a nerd, he was a friggen moron, with what I can only assume a case of undiagnosed ADHD and Tourettes Syndrome with stalker tendencies.  I also think he was neglected, but that’s a different convo.

So, you guys can keep your studio Ballers and in foreclosure Shot callers… I’m cruising the next IT Convention and getting me a NERD!

Wonder what Dwayne Cleophus Wayne is doing…

Ok so having grown up in the Bronx (which makes me half Puerto Rican), we are slaves to the bodega. Bodega’s are always open and always stocked with hood favorties like now & laters, lemonheads, Boston bakeds beans, sunflowers seeds, malt liquor, crunchy cheese doodles and some pretty hot and tempting sammies.  

Um yeeeaaaaa, I ain’t never seen a bottle of wine in any bodega in the hood of my youth but what I have seen is this:

Pickled pigs feet…… this mess is in every bodega in the Bronx, I promise! and the thing is, people buy it! like if you go to the bodega periodically over the course of a couple of weeks you will notice the jar getting lower and lower…..

Why would anyone eat this? the foot of a pig??? PICKLED??? In a jar sold in a hispanic wine shop….. in the hood???? Who thought of this??? I mean I’m no stranger to the pig (bacon be callin me……. “Piper Piper, eat me, rub me all ovah your body, marry me“) Yeah it’s that serious. But putting my love of bacon aside, What I really wanna find is a brave soul or two willing to admit they’ve eaten this. I have never even thought of eating a pickled pigs feet…..

This looks like something you beat your kids with (go get me that foot! you finna get whooped!), not something you put in your body…… YIKES!

Yeeeeeeaaaaa, punching your boss in the face is probably not gonna get you closer to payola dude.

f

Ok now listen! these Valentine’s Day text messages are getting outta hand. Yes sir, I know you, have likely humped you in the past, but we NEVER talk, like ever! Why are you texasing me just cause it’s Valentine’s Day??? No I don’t wanna be your Valentine, no I don’t want you to come over to my house and give me a Valentine’s Day massage, no I don’t want a taste of the special meal of Valentine’s Day shepperd’s pie you’re offering to prepare for me, I don’t miss you or your sweet sweet lovin, I don’t wish we woulda worked out. The thing is I was fine not speaking to you sir, I wasn’t sitting around hankering for your sweet tenda, I’m good! I just can’t seem to bring myself to care about text messages from people who could give a rat’s ass about me any other day but wanna reach out to me because it’s Valentine’s day thinking my lonely vagicat might be giving out entry passes cause some stupid little fat boy with a arrow says I should……. puhleeze sir! 

GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC! Take your Valentine’s day well wishes and jump off a cliff!