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Ask A Dude©: Interweb Pimpin’

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From the mind of Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Ask A Dude, Ask A Dude The Round Table | Posted on 05-25-2011

 

 A 24-Carat Mac Pro, when only the finest for ‘net pimpin will do!

 

  • Single Dudes:  Has the interweb completely ruined your game? When you once may have thought of the internet as your penile oyster, do you find it’s much more of a hassle now to juggle since Social networking has made it near damn nigh impossible to keep these heffers away from each other? How do you play the dating game in a day and age of cyber transparency?

  • Married/Commited Dudes:  Facebook is fugging up marriages left and right:  Exhibit A .   Do you find it harder to stay up out of nonsense due to the internet? Do and your partner share passwords, how do you keep trust?

THE AVAILABLES

  BIG IN EUROPE:  It’s funny that you refer it as a game, because that’s all it is… If you’re using the Internet to date, and you find girl du jour, if you KEEP it as such, then whether or not you find one another is irrelevant.  The biggest problem with this whole scenario is that most guys THINK they are players, when in fact they are simps in player clothes; scary ass halfwits, that think because they can talk to a girl on a computer, they got game.

I personally don’t use the Internet for talking to girls (Though I must admit that I’ve have and found some lovely people on it), because I don’t like surprises. If I WERE to use the Internet for cyber-pimping, I would just be honest with the iWhores and let them all know that they aren’t the only piece of eTrim in my scraps drawer. 

Honesty = no surprises. No surprises = free eLove. Free eLove = STDs for EVERYBODY!!! YAAAAAY!

< waxing poetic >Oh, I swear, back in the days when I used to juggle 5-6 girls on the Internet and 5 at home, life was good. I used to keep ‘em all in line and on a schedule. No surprises, no games. These young bucks… all they know is what they think they know. Assholes don’t know shit about no game. I feel like I need to open a school on how to be a real player… </ waxing poetic >

Oh yeah, if you’re dating on the Internet, they you probably don’t give a rat’s hairy ass if you get caught… If you’re a real player, you’ll replace her surly ass with 2 anyway…ESPECIALLY in the age of social networking… Punk ass bitches!  The internet is ruining the moral fiber of some good ole cheating!

ELPHIE:  Erm… moving along…

 

 

 

 

STONE-AY JACKSON:  You can’t be a playa at all. Everybody has a mutual friend now. Everybody, so you can’t be online having multiple women.

 

 

 

 

CA$HA:   I don’t use the Internet to date. I have found dates on the Internet in the past though, and it didn’t go so smoothly. It always ends in an issue of trust, whether justified or unjustified. It’s much easier to meet someone in person, and stay off of the Internet altogether. The more serious relationships are the ones that are attainable. Often, that’s the one that can be physically shared every day, and not a weekend lover. There’s no certainty in those either, but they are much easier to maintain than any .com love is.

 

 

GROSS DUDE:  Facebook has made it difficult for single fellas pretending to be in serious relationships. 

BUT for single fellas being single? What better way to catalogue all the women you want to get with. More importantly…you cross reference who knows who. Measure your degrees of separation between the multiple women you might be dating.  You see their social habits…where they are prone to go, who they are prone to hang out with. This will prevent you from showing up certain places with one chick knowing another is prone to show up at that same venue.  As for getting caught… Disable your walls dummies!! Set privacy…make sure you have your App alert to notify every time someone tags a pic u don’t want the world to see and un-tag yourself ASAP.  No excuse to get caught unless someone really goes out their way to ruin you.

 

 

ELPHIE:  If my love for this dude is wrong…

 

 

 

 

 

THE TAKENS

 

 

PHLIP-adelphia:  No, no problems in my house. The problem for those who DO experience that is likely just as much rooted in the lack of things like trust, self-control and selfesteem. I mean, if anyone goes to Facebook  to rekindle old flames, they would have done it without Facebook as well, Facebook just gave them an easier medium for doing so.

Marriages/divorces are not down/up, respectively, because of social networking; they’re down because people are getting married for the wrong damned reason.

No issue with nonsense, because we do not allow that shit around us. And if by “share passwords” you mean “leave the computer powered on and logged into everything (email, FB, blog, etc…) when I leave the house or go to sleep,” then yes I do.

REV REAL:  Pseudonyms, fake birth dates, and no photos of yourself. Or, as the conservatives call it, “plausible deniability”.

ELPHIE:  REALLY REV, IS THAT YOUR ANSWER?

REV REAL:  What the hell you want me to say? I ain’t pimpin on FB or Black Planet (ELPHIE:  Um is there still a Black Planet?) so I’m not in the game. But if I were, that’s what I’d do. That’s the problem…people try to get so sophisticated with their strategy of not getting caught that they lose the real purpose. An example: my cousin got caught cheating because he used a “discrete” website where married couples looking to cheat could hook up.  But the website popped up in the autofill Google section and the wiz found out, and subsequently cheated on him.   KISS:  Keep It Simple, Skeezah

 

                     

 ELPHIE:  Ya ever wanted to punch a Rev square in the junk?

 

 

 

 

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