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Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss
Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss

This Is A Shameless Plug*


Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Shameless Plug | Posted on 28-06-2011

You like the Brew, right? We’re some entertaining brawds, ya dig. You may even love our slightly twisted arses. So, we’re interrupting your regularly scheduled Brewshyt to remind you of the oh so many ways you can really show your love for these here Witches!

Shop our store
We’ve got Brew merch. Lots of it. For the baby, for the dog, for you, for your boo and for your iPhone. Get to shoppin’!





We do the Twitter
Be a champ and follow a Witch. Chat us up, leave a message, say something nice (or not)…we’ll get back to you. Just don’t spam us. White Jesus does not like the spam. Click here to get your follow on.





We’re on Facebook
Yup! That’s right. We’re all up in Zuckerberg’s guts and you can get your “like” on by clicking here. Join the party but read the rules first… (Management requires that I remind you to read them).





Buy an ad
Got a business? A cruise to promote? Some booty enhancement pills you wanna shill (ok, maybe not)… negotiate a price (we’re flexible) and slap that ad all up on the Brew. Oh, slap us so good… (clicking the ads over on the right whenever you visit the site will also make us very happy #justsayin)

See… it’s not that hard to show some Brew love. Love a Witch so she can stay off the pole. Oh… and we take Paypal too. #shamelessplug

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming…

*That Gladiator guy, Danny Bonaduce, that random dog and A-Rod would probably approve this message… allegedly (don’t sue us)

Want more Witches’ Brew?
Like us | Follow us | Get fed | Shop the store


What’s Brewing?


Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in brew bits, brewshyt, What's Brewing | Posted on 28-06-2011

Some poor child had #thatawkwardmoment at the BET Awards in front of 8 million people… bless her heart – Pop Culture Fix

Tracy Morgan insulted the gays, now he’s aiming at “retarded kids” (you really can’t make this stuff up) – Jezebel

Gilbert Arenas is pretty happy his ex is joining Basketball Wives L.A.IFWT

Rihanna tripped over her own foot and busted her kneecaps on stage… oh na, naTabloid Prodigy

Buju Banton gets 10 years for drug possession… boom bye byeMTV

Remember when Diddy n’ nem was shootin’ up the club (allegedly or whatever)? Well, he settled that case – Kimora Cochran

Kelly Rowland is having the best week ever – Media Outrage

…and In Case You Missed It: Gay marriage is legal in New York! Take it away Sylvester…

Don’t forget to check out our fellow bloggers under the Brewshyt tab…there’s always good stuff there too!

Want more Witches’ Brew?
Like us | Follow us | Get fed | Shop the store


Live Blogging the 2011 BET Awards


Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in BET, BET Awards, BET Awards 2011, Live Blog | Posted on 26-06-2011

Another year, another night of that real Brew awards show commentary you’ve come to love. We’re watching the BET Awards with a drunk critical eye, so you’ve come to the right place if you want fashion and performance critiques, or a show recap if you don’t have cable (hey, times are tight).

Join our live blog below and get in on the conversation on Facebook and Twitter too. Tweet us at @lawitchesbrew. Now, let’s get it…


Brew Buzz: Ron Artest Continues To Be My Sweet Nutty Baby


Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in ron artest | Posted on 24-06-2011

They shall call me Peace...

The always eccentric and quite frankly AWESOMELY odd Lakers forward, Ron Artest filed a petition in L.A. County Superior Court to change his name to — Metta (meaning: loving, kindness, happiness) World Peace.

Hey, if I can actually call a grown bamma OCHOCINCO, I’d happily call someone Sir Peace.  But that’s just the free-lovin’ hippie in me talking!    Artest joins a host of other (sometimes wtf?) athletes to chuck their legal names: LIST

*Might I suggest to Ronnie Metta, that whenever he leaves a room he offers up a: “Peace, OUT!”

He can have that for free…


Ask A Dude: 15 Mins?


Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Ask A Dude, Ask A Dude The Round Table, single ladies | Posted on 22-06-2011

Hi Dudes!

Ok- don’t judge me, I got caught up watching the craptacular VH1 “Single Ladies”…a show about 2 negroid women, their “my black is on the inside (via penetration)” cacausianoid friend and mega bad acting.
Anywhootinany…the subject of commitment came up,  as it often does when negro women get together in front of a camera.  (Plus I REALLY needed a topic for Ask A Dude!)


True/False…expound please: 
“A man knows within 15 mins whether he can see a woman as his wife.”

Always Been Jealous of that Wet Set


(The surprisingly Subdued) Gross Dude: I’m going to have to sit this one out since I haven’t even come close to being married. I can admit to meeting alot of women that were “marriage material”, but I just had no desire to enter that institution.




Bitchin' Blazer

Absolutely not…A dude might be able to tell you if he is interested in getting physical within that amount of time, but any fool who mistakes “getting buttnekkid” with “marriage potential” likely deserves the heartache and financial f*ckery that lies ahead for him.

In general, it takes time to assess things about her, like her history (more specifically if she is related to or has had relations with any of my friends), friends (you play in sh*t long enough, you’re bound to get some on you so choose friends wisely… and to make sure I was not with any of them before)health (yes, especially sexual health), and MOST IMPORTANTLY if she has/had any prescriptions for things such as antidepressants and such.
As it were, it is improbable to gather all of this information – a minimum in the “should I be thinking about marrying this chick?” list – within 15 minutes, unless she overshares information, which is equally scary since no one marries clingers on purpose.
I am of the opinion that this is not information gained before at least the 3rd or 4th date or so, based solely on the natural progression of non-creepy conversation.



CA$HA: HA!!!! Who told you that??? (Elphaba: The bad TV show ‘Single Ladies’! Keep up!) A man knows whether or not he’d sleep with a women within the first 15 minutes, but a wife? No. She may be his ideal “look”, but any fool knows that looks can be deceiving. What if her breath stinks? What if “worse” stinks? What if she’s rude? What if she can’t cook? What if she’s bad with money? There are a lot of questions that need to be answered when it comes to that, and 15 minutes won’t do.
…”knows within 15 minutes”…LMAO! That is too funny…


No Curl Wetter or More Gansta

REV REAL: There is some truth to this. I think most guys approach women with 1 of 2 motivations: she’s jumpoff material, or she could be wife potential. That first conversation is critical, but just because he thinks she’s wife material in the first 15 mins doesn’t mean the chick can’t do something to muck that up. In other words, I’ve met chicks and after a few minutes been like, “I could wife her.”

But, if she’s tossing my salad within 2 hours, that prospect goes out the window.


This Really Is My Picture, though...



ELPHABA: My spiritual adviser, Ladies & Gentlemen.. *slow clap*… * blink*…*stare*…*sigh*…





So what say you, fellas? Do you know within 15 mins if someone is a just for now bust down or someone you can get all emo with forever style?

Check out  the tour de force Single Ladies  yourselves…