Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss
Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss

Brew Tube: Vampires, Fairies and Witches. Oh My!

0

Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in True Blood | Posted on 16-06-2011

 

My fellow Truebies! HBO has hooked us up with an 8 min sneak peek of the Season 4 True Blood Premiere, it’s like Christmas all over this bish!  The highlight of this for me, is that Tara (Brew Beauty Rutina Wesley) got rid of them stank ass braids! YES!!  Premiering June 26, let the 10 day countdown begin!

 

 

 

Share

DVR Worthy TV: Maxwell VH1 Storytellers

0

Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Maxwell, vh1 | Posted on 16-06-2011

Call me...

Someone at VH1 decided June 17th was Christmas and I thank them in advance for their seasonal dyslexia!   Maxwell’s Storytellers premiers and panties drop in living rooms across America.  Check your local listings for times!

VH1 Storytellers gives artists a chance to talk about their inspiration and the situations surrounding some of the biggest hits in their careers.

Making disclaimers about being nervous, scared, and reluctant to comfortably discuss his craft, the charismatic singer joked that he wished Oprah was there to help him verbalize his thoughts, openly confessing “this is not my forte” at the onset. But as he began knocking out a set list that was heavy with double-platinum, debut album Maxwell’s Urban Hang Suite tracks, “Max… from Brooklyn, New York” loosened up quickly, comparing the experience to being on Twitter (but with real avatars), and began to discuss the moments in his career that birthed the baby-making music he’s heralded for. (VH1)

THE SET LIST. YAS!

Share

Tupac’s Shooter Confesses?

1

Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Tupac | Posted on 15-06-2011

On the eve of what would have been Tupac Shakur’s 40th birthday, someone has come forward claiming responsibility for the 1994 shooting in Manhattan which left Pac wounded outside a recording studio. That shooting kicked off what would turn out to be a deadly string of events for Tupac and eventually the Notorious B.I.G.

Dexter Isaac –a friend of industry exec James “Jimmy Henchman” Rosemond– says he was the gunman. Isaac had long been suspected in the shooting. He claims Rosemond paid him $2500 for the shooting and that he still has the chain he stole from Pac that night.

Isaac is serving life for murder and robbery. He even hints at having more insider knowledge by saying he felt it was time to confess and “to clean it up to give [Tupac and Biggie's] mothers some closure.” He claims he will give them that “closure” at a different time. Isaac went so far to say that Rosemond and P Diddy “like to come off all innocent-like” but they “cannot fool all of the people all of the time,” which only adds to many people’s suspicions of Puffy’s involvement.

So what do you think? Is there merit to the confession? Will Pac & Biggie’s murders ever be solved?

Jump over to AllHipHop for Isaac’s written confession.

Want more Witches’ Brew?
Like us | Follow us | Get fed | Shop the store

Share

Sex, Lies & Videotapes: Shaq O’Neal (@shaq)

0

Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted in Brew News, shaq, Shaunie O'Neal | Posted on 15-06-2011

Like Whoa.com. This next story is baffling to say the least. TMZ is reporting that seven gang members kidnapped, robbed and beat a man during a mission to retrieve a sex tape that @Shaq allegedly made with another woman while married to Shaunie O’Neal! Shaq reportedly met one of the alleged accomplices while he owned a record label. And, now that accomplice claims he had sex with Shaunie after he and Shaq fell out.  I just know @Shaunieoneal is having laughing cow and crackers.

So Brewchies, what is the craziest thing you’ve done to destroy evidence of your cheatin’ heart?

Source

Share

Brew Tube: Woman Makes It Rain In Eddie Long’s Church

2

Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Bishop Eddie Long, Brew Tube | Posted on 13-06-2011


There’s a video trolling around these here innawebs that shows a New Birth congregant dropping a wad of cash –that looks like it could pay my mortgage– into the accepting hands of Bishop Eddie Long. The casual cash-drop happens right in the middle of his sermon and comes just weeks after Long settled his sex misconduct cases with four young men for a rumored $25 million! He’s also recently asked his followers for “seed offerings” for two new churches he’s planning to open in Birmingham, AL and Denver, CO.

Get into it… (or not):

Perhaps it was staged to get others in the pews to follow suit and cough up some funds. I still say this guy has a lot of explaining to do before I’d drop a dollar in the bucket!

And… I see his toupée rug game is still losing.

Source
Want more Witches’ Brew?

Like us | Follow us | Get fed | Shop the store

Share

Brew Cutie: Ahmed Hassan (@ahmedandahmed)

25

Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted in Brew Love N' Stuff, Brew Men, Brew Tube | Posted on 11-06-2011

I was in the middle of a struggle session on the elliptical this morning when I thought I saw a mirage on the gym television. But this mirage was real, very real and he goes by the name of Ahmed Hassan. This Bay Area cutie hosts HGTV’s “Yard Crashers” and let’s just say if my landscaper looked like him…well you get the point. He’s actually married with three kids so I’ll keep it P.G. but I can’t help the dirty thoughts that keep “sprouting” up in my head. Get it? Sprouting? Oh, I made a funny. I also know of a lawn he can mow…okay, now I’m done.

Check out an episode:

<object classid=”clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000″ codebase=”http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=9,0,124,0″   width=”400″ height=”323″><param name=”movie” value=”http://common.scrippsnetworks.com/common/snap/snap-3.0.3-embed.swf?channelurl=http://www.diynetwork.com/diy/channel/xml/0,,48601-VIDEO,00.xml&channel=48601″/><param name=”allowFullScreen” value=”true”/><param name=”allowscriptaccess” value=”always”/><param name=”bgcolor” value=”#FFFFFF”/><embed src=”http://common.scrippsnetworks.com/common/snap/snap-3.0.3-embed.swf?channelurl=http://www.diynetwork.com/diy/channel/xml/0,,48601-VIDEO,00.xml&channel=48601″ type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” allowscriptaccess=”always” allowfullscreen=”true” bgcolor=”#FFFFFF” width=”400″ height=”323″/></object>

Share

What’s Brewing

0

Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in What's Brewing | Posted on 10-06-2011

(Photo via TMZ)

The “News” of the week that you may have “missed”.

The Basketball “Wives” are International Brawlers, yo! TMZ

Keep ignoring those turn off electronics and cellphones warning on planes and we’re going DOWN!

That Wiener cannot be stopped! Congressman Anthony Wiener’s wife is carrying a baby Weins.

Gilbert Arenas is fined by the NBA for Tweets about a bad blind date and “other things”.  This guy saves us the trouble of finding the offending Tweets. Since when are professional athletes NOT supposed to be douchey about women?

Awww, Kim Kardashian is super mads and wants Bret Lockett to say ‘Sawwry.

Lupe Fiasco calls The Prez a Terrorist, gets a chance to backpedal,  but instead  says “YEA BISHES I SAID AND I MEANT THAT ISH!”

The Voice, is the best thing on TV right now! For reals!

Share

Brew Commentary: YOUR ISH IS YOUR ISH!

2

Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in brew commentary, PEP TALK | Posted on 07-06-2011

Oh for the love of Dub Heyzeus! Do you know how much time you are wasting, bemoaning things you cannot change and complaining about things that you CAN do something about?!

OK, I’m gonna spit some Hot Motivational Fiyah in the manner of DYLAN DYLAN DYLAN DYLAN AND DYLAN! The top 5 greatest rapper of all time!  Come get you some!

 

Your fat ass:  If it is a problem for you….GO TO THE GYM, EAT LESS. That’s the recipe right there. There’s no pill, there’s no shake, there’s no miracle juice smoothie, there’s no body wrap, there’s no cream there’s no salve. When I’m stressed out and upset, I gain weight. Nothing says ‘soothing the sadness’ to me, quite like a nice meal  followed by a rousing nap.  And boy does that ish have consequences… all up and around my gut parts.  I’ve done effed up, but no matter how I try to avoid the inevitable, I know damn well the only way to handle that is:   SWEAT AND EATING LESS CRAP, MORE OFTEN THAN I EAT CRAP (hey, I’m all about balance).  Witch Tip: Check out Clean Eating Magazine for some mealspiration. The recipes are effing healthy deliciousness! FOR REAL!

Do you know how much money on anal oil leaking pills I just saved you?  NOW BUY A DAMN BREW TEE SHIRT!

 

Your hair: “The BLACK EVERY Woman and her Hair”  is gazillion dollar industry for one reason, everyone wants EXACTLY what they don’t have.   I get that. But at SOME point, you have to say ‘this is the hand I’m dealt’ and go with it.  I would love to have hair that didn’t frizz up when moisture is in a 20 mile radius, I however was “blessed” with this:

The Juan Epstein:  A full on Puerto Rican Jew fro, I am neither PR or a Jew so imagine my confusion.

Luckily in this day and age, a woman doesn’t HAVE to look like a 70′s sitcom actor, if she doesn’t want to.  I’ve found the products that work for me, and #bam my morning angst is over! My point is, whether the solution is to finding the hair hat that suits you (which means at the very least the TRACKS don’t show! COME ON LADIES!), or going boldly Mah Ambah (@DaRealAmberRose) Rose bald, Do what works for YOU because matching someone else’s swag is inauthentic and makes baby Dub Jesus very colicy.  Witch Tip: In this day in age of the interweb hair information, and YouTube demonstrations- if your wig is a mess, you must WANT it to be. Seriously, Just Google HAIR!  There is no such thing as a texture too exotic to LOOK NICE AND HEALTHY!

 

Your Money: I’m not even gonna lie, this one gets me the hardest. I love shoes….and purses…and clothes…and accessories…and books..and Apple aps… and that $3.03 cent Chai Latte I get from the tea house every morning.  At some point you have to cut some ish out and be responsible.     Pay your bills first,  put some in an automatic savings program that is not linked to your checking account, don’t use your credit cards unless an emergency, and buy your ‘stuff’ at the sale it’s going to be on in 3 weeks, make your lunch to bring to work most days and pay your FORKING TAXES!

See, you didn’t even have to buy a Suze Orman book for that. NOW GO BUY A DAMN TEE SHIRT, IT IS  AN INVESTMENT IN YOUR FUTURE. Would I steer you wrong? *blank stare, winning smile*


Your Style: There is no reason for you lack style.  Your clothes are a rep of not only who you are, but who you want to advertise to the world that you are.  If you are not Megan Good, do you REALLY want people to think you’re the chick who enjoys cameltoe and cheap Lycra? Does your spirit REALLY sing through baggy tees and elastic waist trousers? I’m SURE you’re deeper than that. Show it! Witch Tip: Take an inventory of your closet, junk what’s not working, then build your essentials wardrobe and go from there.

Check out invite only online designer discount havens like Gilt Group, Rue La La, and splurge on the things that matter to you (hell, inbox me at witchesbrewadmin@gmail.com and I’ll send you the invite myself!).

Quality over quantity always, especially if you are a woman of  plushness…cheap fabric and construction is the devil on a Big Boneded Beauty! Remember that shit! Live it learn it LOVE IT!

Not sure HOW to put looks together once you’ve got the basics?  Peep  fashion blogs such as the Sartorialist,  Young, Fat and Fabulous, and Lucky Magazine has an awesome online resource. Get yourself some inspiration!

 

Your Stuff: I really wish you bamas would stop buying ish beyond your bama means. In the DMV it is so ‘sooo where do you live, what do you drive, what do you have?’ FOCK’S IT TO YOU? Unless you are asking for handouts from someone, YOUR SHIT, IS YOUR SHIT. GOT IT?! Stop competing with people who’s journey has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING  to do with yours.

 

 

 

Your Brain:  I swear the biggest props I can give is to someone is kudos for learning something new. Whether it’s a language, how to give a premium Superhead style hummer, or cook a gourmet meal. Never stop challenging yourself to be faster, smarter and brighter.

 

 

 

Your Vagicat:  Tend to your chocha regularly, groom it, protect it, get it in some stirrups and let a GYN get a gander at it, don’t let errybody and their cousin Tron all up in it,  and treat it with love cause it can be your best friend or worst enemy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

MISC: Use your library card often, love your pets like they are family, take your ass to a dentist, check out that funny looking mole at a dermatologist and while you’re there have her give you something for your skin ailments so you don’t have to cake on the makeup so heavily.  And stop taking pics of your tool, tittyballs or vagicat, if you are in public office.

Oh and seriously, volunteer somewhere. Helping others is a priceless feeling that spills in to the rest of your life.

 

NAMASTE, BITCHES!!

NOW GO BUY A DAMN TEE SHIRT!

Share

Brew Quotes: Reese Witherspoon Slays Everybody

2

Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Brew Quotes, Brew Tube, Reese Witherspoon | Posted on 06-06-2011

Reese Witherspoon has huge, mutant, giant balls. Last night, while accepting the Generation Award at the MTV Movie Awards, Witherspoon dropped this bomb massacring every tarlet, starlet, poplet, actress-let and talentless hack in Hollywood.

I just wanna say to all the girls out there, I know it’s cool to be bad, I get it … but it’s also possible to make it in Hollywood without a reality show. When I came up in this business, if you made a sex tape, you were embarrassed and you hid it under your bed and if you took naked pictures of yourself on your cellphone, you hide your face, people. Hide your face! I just want to say to all the girls out there it’s OK to be a good girl. I’m trying to make it cool.

Taste The Brew for the clip

Share

Brew Beauty: DJ Beverly Bond

0

Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Brew beauty | Posted on 02-06-2011

 Beverly Bond (@BeverlyBond) is our latest Brew Beauty.   The 40-something  DJ, MottelTM(Arrah Kelly)  and Black Girls Rock! founder was raised all over the state of Maryland by a single mom.  As a nomadic child, Beverly,  used music to give her a grounding sense of consistency and familiarity.  Moving to NY to pursue mottelingTM   in the 90′s,  she assumed thought the logical next career step would be acting.  But in an acting class, she explored themes centered around being her ”authentic self”.  Taking that to heart,  in 2000,  DJ Beverly Bond  was spawned.  She quickly became the It Girl DJ to the NY scenesters, you could catch her on the wheels of steel  in small intimate venues and giant fashion and industry events alike. 

In 2006 she founded BLACK GIRLS ROCK! Inc.  non-profit youth empowerment and mentoring organization established to promote the arts for young women of color, as well as to encourage dialogue and analysis of the ways women of color are portrayed in the media.  The genesis of Black Girls Rock was a simple tee shirt, with names of Black women doing Big things in the world.  Says Bond, “ I was writing down all of these names and just couldn’t fit them all. In my attempt to try, I said, ‘This is bigger than just a shirt.’ So I decided to start a mentoring program.”

The  dedication of her life to Beats and the empowerment of Black women, what’s more beautiful than that?

Head to our Facebook page for our Brew Beauty gallery to see more of Beverly.  And while you’re there, “LIKE” us and follow our blog.

Get involved:  BLACK GIRLS ROCK!

sources: Black Enterprise,  ANSWERS.COM

Share

Rihanna Has Pissed Off The Parents…Again

3

Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Brew Tube, Rihanna | Posted on 01-06-2011

The excessive Jamaican-style yodeling in Rihanna’s new “Man Down” video isn’t the only thing rubbing people the wrong way (I kid, I kid?). The Parents Television Council is pissed about what they call the “cold, calculated execution of murder” in the video.
Taste The Brew for more

Share