Posted by Piper from the Brew | Posted in Brew Warning | Posted on 31-08-2011
I know when a humping drought hits us we all may find ourselves making whoppy to ourselves more than we should, but to the point of death??? Well apparently this is possible, a boy in Brazil choked his chicken to death…. literally….. God rest is his horny soul. This even has me re-thinking my self relatiion tactics, I got a lot more living to do and the desires of my loins (vagicat) are just not worth the risk.
Knuckle up and guard your nuts and berries and remember, everything in moderation!
Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Beyonce, Jay-Z, knocked up, mtv, mtv video music awards | Posted on 28-08-2011

Beyonce confirmed her pregnancy on the MTV VMA’s “black” carpet tonight. No word on when the baby’s due or what she’s having but I’ll bet there are a ton of Tina Knowles maternity clothes on the production line right now. Somewhere, Kelly Rowland and her oiled up legs are pissed.
Seriously though, congrats to Bey & Jay.

Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Celebrity Concern Letter, Celebrity Letter, mariah carey | Posted on 27-08-2011

Dear Mariah Carey Cannon,
I have questions and concerns. First off, it looks like you’re actually wearing sneakers with this sweat suit. Your appropriate choice of footwear confuses me. Who are you? Are you the same woman who showed off how she Stairmasters wearing stilettos? I want that MiMi back, I have invested way too much time in accepting your ridiculousness for you to turn into Mom-Mi, all reasonable and grown up and ish. What the junk?!
I mean I guess the good news is clearly you have become a dawg (apparently the NY’er in me doesn’t pronounce that word “correctly”. Whatevers!) hoarder!
I seriously hope your happiness hasn’t wiped your awesome wackiness away. Normal is so…boring!
PS, can you get back into the studio so you have some music to do some um.. ‘dancing’ too? Thanks!
Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Beyonce, brew music, Jill Scott | Posted on 25-08-2011
Jill Scott and Beyonce dropped new videos today and clearly, close-up crying is the new black.
First up, Jill’s clip for the powerful “Hear My Call,” which, frankly, I think we’ve all wondered if anyone is really hearing us when we pray. She captures that sentiment beautifully (as usual).
Taste The Brew for more
There are some absolutes in this world. Water is wet. Oprah runs the world. Taxes must be paid. The sun is bright. And, apparently, you can add DMX will be arrested a few times a year to that list. Dark Man X was popped in Arizona for doing 102 miles per hour. Of course, Earl was driving on a suspended and revoked license (you can have both?). He was arrested, booked and cited for criminal speeding, driving on a suspended and revoked license and reckless driving.
DMX was just released on July 18th after serving time for a probation violation, drugs, impersonating the feds or something. I swear I can’t keep up and opening another window to Google it would expend too much energy.
Get it together X!

Source
**Old mug shot**
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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted in brew buzz, Brew Confessions, brew crush, Celebrity Love Letters, Willie Geist | Posted on 24-08-2011

Dear Will Will (isn’t that cute?), you do it for me in an Ivy League-blue blood-frat boy kind of way. You had me at good morning on “Way Too Early” and I have never cheated on you with those other anchoring cats. I also read someone that you’re pretty good in sports which means you can probably hold your own on the dance floor compared to your other rhythmically-challenged counterparts. All those snarky comments, plus that good rap music during your show and the fact that you grew up in Jersey makes me think that you can throw a diamond up with the best of them! Yep, this kitten is smitten! Love, Witch F
Check my TV boo in action:
Posted by Piper from the Brew | Posted in brew commentary | Posted on 23-08-2011
Can a fat lady like her fat, he happy in her fat and dress cute with her fat??? I have always wondered this or is it all a facade? This lady looks pretty happy and fashion forward doesn’t she? I know we live in a visual world and there have been studies conducted that prove that thin people get more in this life. But I want to know from women who are fat (and know they’re fat) if this world has a place for you? I know so many women, myslef included, who struggle with their weight and I wonder sometimes when I see really big women if they’ve just decided to embrace it, is changing too hard? Or should we move on from the fat thing and just let people be who they are. If you’re healthy it doesn’t matter right?
I just want to know the general feeling on this….. thanks!
Love,
An Inquisitive Chubbster…..
Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Ashford & Simpson, breaking brew, Nick Ashford | Posted on 22-08-2011

Nick Ashford –one half of the legendary singing/songwriting duo of Ashford & Simpson– has died. Ashford died at a New York City hospital today. He had been suffering from throat cancer and had undergone radiation treatment. Ashford and his wife Valerie Simpson wrote some of Motown’s most memorable hits, including “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” “Ain’t Nothing Like The Real Thing,” “Reach Out And Touch Somebody’s Hand” and “You’re All I Need To Get By,” plus their own hits like “Solid” and “Found A Cure.”
Nick Ashford was 69 years old. Here’s a look back at some of their biggest hits…

#rip Nick and much strength to Valerie and their two daughters.
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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Blake Griffin, Kim Kardashian, Twitter | Posted on 20-08-2011


The Tweet of The Day goes to the NBA’s Blake Griffin. I’m sure you all know by now that Kim Kardashian is marrying some Franken-Lurch-looking dude who plays basketball. Well, someone on Twitter thought Blake Griffin was Kris Humphries (the new Mr. Kardashian) and tweeted their congratulations to Blake. Here’s Blake’s oh so subtle, yet shade-filled response…
You have me confused w/ another athlete(s) RT @RobRepetto: @blakegriffin You have the most beautiful women in the world KimKardashian
BOOM POW IN YO’ FACE!!! #shadethrown
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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in lisa wu hartwell, Real Housewives of atlanta, Reality TV, splitsville | Posted on 20-08-2011
Dammit. Latasha strikes again!

Former Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member (and Keith Sweat’s baby mama) Lisa Wu Hartwell and her bubble bath giving husband Ed Hartwell have split! Apparently, a fan on NeNe Leakes’ Facebook page dug up the dirt that the couple have separated and, when asked, Lisa confirmed it in a tweet:
Sadly.We r seperated but wld NEVER b over money. That is so far frm the truth. Wish ppl cld respect ppl’s privacy during times like these
Reality TV has a pretty solid record of blowing up marriages (or at least, it seems to magnify issues already within a marriage). Let’s see, former #RHOA wife DeShawn Snow split from her husband Eric. NeNe and Gregg are separated (but grandpa Gregg hides out in the basement) and let’s not even pull out the files on Nick Lachey & Jessica Simpson, Carmen Elektra and Dave Navarro and the recent separation and subsequent suicide of one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ husbands.
Ok, now I’m sad.
Spotted
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Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Ask A Dude, Ask A Dude The Round Table | Posted on 16-08-2011
Dudes, you’ve been seeing someone- more than casually, but not ”seriously” (ie, you were not engaged, married too, sharing an offspring or co-habitating, nor did you have ‘the talk’).
You decide that you’d rather dangle your privates in a tank of piranha than hang with them anymore
Do you:
- Give them a call and tell them you did not pick up their option to renew the relationship and they have been CANCELLED, plainly stating your lack of interest?
- You beat around the bush…’uh, I think I’m going to be busy for the next couple of years…”, “I’m going out of town, every saturday for the rest of the decade..”
- Do you just do the “Fade-away” ...taper calls, emails, etc. until you are but a speck in the wind of her dating mind? Well, until you run into her 3 months later, on a date with your next boo…
WHAT’S THE HUMANE WAY TO DE-BOO?!
******
THE PASSIVE AGRESSIVE PUTZES
DUDE DARKNESS: Option 3 – THE FADE AWAY! It’s the ONLY way to go. It’s not only an UNDEFENDABLE shot in basketball – it’s also a an UNDEFENDABLE breakup technique. They slowly — YET gradually get used to life without you and it also aids in preventing the destruction of your property.THE STRAIGHT SHOOT YOU IN THE HEART-ER
SUPREME: Well, I’m not a ”nice” person to begin with. So if it ain’t serious, why go out of your way? Hell, even if it IS serious – I’m all about being upfront and honest. So I’m just going to tell it how it is, no sugarcoating, straight with no OJ afterwards. So option #1 is definitely what I’d do.A SPICY MIX OF ‘PUSH YOU OUT A MOVING CAR AND I’M GOING INTO SURGERY IN THE MORNING’
PHLIP: I would like to imagine that I am somewhere between the “get it the fux over with” of number one and letting it go gently of number two, with none of the passive-aggressive approach.The naked truth is always better than a well-dressed lie, I think I heard one of these rappity-rap types say on something I heard in the car between the house and work the last couple weeks. Never is this more apparent than right now. The conversation should be framed such that the receiver of the bad news gets it with the understanding that it has been thought out, and closing any question of the finality (or lack thereof) should be conveyed as well. With that in mind, there is nothing left to do BUT to just say it and let things take place as they will from there. Be prepared to present the reason for the rift as well, and I could only HOPE that the deliverer allowed a chance to make things right.

I’m not exactly sure WHAT this is…hippity hop, smoove arrah and bee a bit of downbeat with a splash of ska? I have NO IDEARS! I’m going to be honest, I don’t even know if this is actually good. But him SECKSY!












