50 Cent, Mike Tyson and Floyd Mayweather Jr are pimping the new Street King Energy drink in this new spoof based on The Hangover.

Jump to 1:10 to watch Iron Mike back dat azzz up.
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While Easy E and Piper held down the fort at The Brew, Hazel and Fleur recently hit the pavement at #Blogalicious11 last weekend near the Nation’s Capital to seek knowledge, understanding and hopefully some big-faced Benjamins! (A sistah’s gotta eat right?) While we won’t beat you up with all the inside baseball type tips for for bloggers, I can honestly say blogging is here to stay. Shout out to the @beblogalicious organizers and all the cool bloggers that we met.
Taste The Brew for pics from the weekend

Rumors are flying that Jennifer Hudson and her fiancé of three years, David Otunga, may not be getting married after all. They were supposed to get hitched in August in her hometown of Chicago but then word started to spread that he refused to sign her prenup. Now, sources are saying Jennifer’s weight loss, commitment issues, her reluctance to have a 2nd child and disagreements over her career have put plans to jump the broom on hold.

Her camp continues to maintain that a wedding will happen, just not now. All I know is… this is the same guy who went on a reality show and got all up in the guts of this lady…

And, now JHud may be having a change of heart. Ya think?

Image via Albert L. Ortega/PR Photos
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30 Americans is a wide-ranging survey of work by many of the most important African American artists of the last three decades. Selected from the Rubell Family Collection, the exhibition brings together seminal figures such as Jean-Michel Basquiat and David Hammons with younger and emerging artists such as Kehinde Wiley and Shinique Smith. Often provocative and challenging, 30 Americans focuses on issues of racial, sexual, and historical identity in contemporary culture. It explores how each artist reckons with the notion of black identity in America, navigating such concerns as the struggle for civil rights, popular culture, and media imagery. At the same time, it highlights artistic legacy and influence, tracing subject matter and formal strategies across generations.

I recently stumbled upon this clip from an episode of Animal Planet’s “My Extreme Animal Phobia” that gave me the willies! It centered around a 40-year-old Sons of Anarchy reject who has a phobia of pit bull puppies. I guess he had experienced some life-changing trauma as a tyke, so every time he sees one of those little terrors he freezes up and churns out Lil Wayne-approved tatted tears… making what I’m sure is the most disturbing sight on those mean streets of Whogivesafock, USA!
The highlight is when he gives the therapist the Heisman Hall of Hand “Hol-ups” when she tries to coax him to close the pooper puppy.

So this dude is not afraid of bad Mike Tyson face tats, but can’t stomach a 15lb house shytter? Guess I should have asked for seconds of compassionate during breakfast this morning. Just kidding, I do feel for the guy and at least he’s trying. What say you Brewchies?

Soulja Boy would really like you to notice him. I mean, since you aren’t noticing him enough to buy his actual music. First, he claimed he wrote Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair.” Then, someone in his camp started the debate there was that whole (unbelievable) debate about whether his net worth was high enough for him to buy a jet. Then he gets arrested for riding dirty. Now, he’s got that blonde ambition. Soulja Boy really wants your attention, huh?
Taste The Brew for DeAndre’s new look

I’m not real clear on why the first Gang Of Roses happened but someone has felt the need to make a sequel and put even more Z-list (sub-zero?) actresses in it.

The first film starred (finger quotes) Lil Kim, Stacey Dash, LisaRaye and Monica Calhoun. The black lady western is pretty much a BET classic so wait for it and you’ll catch it again. This time around, the sequel features Amber Rose (who knew she spoke?), Teyana Taylor, Rocsi Diaz, Claudia Jordan and someone I’ve never heard of. This is some amazing cinema rightchere.
Taste The Brew for the clips

Facebook, facebook, facebook, we’re all on it, at least most of us, and for a good handful of us we quite enjoy being there. Catching up with friends, looking at pics of friends at parties we weren’t invited to, and just kicking back gettin our innaweb down time on. But, and there is always a but, we gotta discuss the statuses, we just have to. I have complied a list of the top 10 types of facebook statuses that just make my large gluteous maximus itch to no end. Wrote a post about it, wanna read it?! Here it go!

 

10. ” I don’t need you bammas, I got Jesus” - ok first of all, where is the God in that? Second, believe in what you believe, but just like in real life stop putting that on everyone who may not believe in the same God as you. I don’t know, I believe in God as much as the next sinner looking for salvation but I have always felt that religion is extremely personal, not sure you should be using your status to promote your Godly higher authority….. just not sure.

9. “My sweetie just made me a cake, I’m so loved!” - ok on this one I might be jealous, I don’t have a boo, but still,  WE DO NOT CARE!!!. And besides, wasn’t your last status about you going hard in the gym?? A cake?? really???? UGH!

8. “This traffic is maddening, I’m so sick of this!” –  ok first of all, it’s traffic, it’s never going away, especially if you live in any kind of metropolis, get the eff over it! Second of all, quit cha bitchin! There are dead mofos who would give anything to be sitting in some traffic. Thirdly, stop texting and driving, arsehole!

7. “It’s raining people” -  Yeah um, thanks for the heads up, good thing that window I have works. Ya know it’s perfectly okay to not update your status sometimes, it’s really okay…. geesh

6. ” When the moon first sees its shadow, I will become one with my inner monkey and still I rise” –  ok listen, no one has time to figure out your cryptic, subliminal status updates. If you’re mad at someone just post that chit on their wall, you didn’t get your child support on time??? inbox that ninja! But these ‘ramblings of a nutjob’ status updates truly make us cringe and they cause my vagicat to age prematurely, (there is already a grey hair situation going on…..)  STOP IT!!

5. “Sam Perkins is –  at Marshalls” – ok look, the check-in thing is cool, I think I’ve used it a time or two myself, but checking in as you run errands is mad, crazy, stupid boring, stop doing that. I’d like to see when you check-in at ” Dollar Bill’s Poon and Peen Palace”….. that is totally a check-in I wanna know about

4. ” Sarah Jennings check your inbox now!” - ok since they started allowing us to tag our friensds I have definitely utililzed that feature, HOWEVER……. If you and Sarah are that tight, why don’t you have SJ’s #? I mean if it’s that urgent and all. I guess you want everyone to know Sarah is your man fiddy grand cause there is no other explanation for this that makes sense…. call her!

3. “Tough morning, my lamborghini got stuck in the mud and I have a leak in the basement of my 18 room mansion, my day is gonna be awful!” or ” Owning my own company and making all this money is exhausting but it sure beats that 9-5 thing I used to do!” (most people are reading this status at their 9-5)  - smh, Witch E first bought this phenomenon to our attention, she calls it “Bragplaining”. It is a person’s desperate and thirsty attempt to let us know they are living in the lap of luxury so they find transparent and ridiculous ways to let us know they are BAUUULLLLIN whilst trying to make it seem like it is an average person’s everyday kinda problem,  Ninja saddown! Again, WE. DO. NOT. CARE and you look real silly and simple.

2. “I’m leaving facebook today everyone, those who matter know how to reach me, it’s been real”  -  Seriously? An annoucement? Mofo just go! iT’S THE INTERNET!!! you look reeeaaaaalllll lame informing us that your facebooking days are coming to an end, STOP DOING THIS!

1. “OMG, all these guys keep hollering at me, geesh, can I get a break???? damn!” - ok sweetcheeks, let’s break this down real quick, chances are if you have a vagina and you are marginally attractive, you will get hollered at. It’s a simple fact, and it falls far on the lame side for you to constantly give us updates on how many of these hollers you get on a daily basis and the dialougue involved in each encounter, stop this at once! You are not THAT special, you have a vagina and you took a shower, count on a few hollers along with the 20 million other women being hollered at…… DAMN!

 

This is just my list, I’m sure you have your own, feel free to share and for the love of White Jesus, STOP THE INSANITY!!!!

“Is she REALLY?”.  “Why would she, fake it? “.   “Is Jay Z carrying the BeyJayfetum in one of his camel humps?”. “Will they be adopting from the planet Lacefront?”
Apparently these are the questions that are hot in the skreets. Mannn WHO CARES?!?

I’ve got bigger fish to fry…mmm fish fry… I digress.
Here’s some of the deep thoughts that have my head in a twist…see what I did there?  Man nevermind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

MEN WITH HIPS… when did this become a raging epidemic?  I can’t seem to take a seat on the metro these days without some dudes Lady Lumps rubbing up on mine, making my hip all clammy. WTF?  Now to top it off only are dudes just not getting any good cardio in, but they have the nerve to be highlighting it with skinny jeans?  I blame this weasel.

Not only is he populating Hollywood and the Bayou,  but he’s the reason I’m seeing full fat buttered butt cracks and muffin tops all over town. Fucker.

 

CHOCOLATE RULES ERRYTHING AROUND ME

So, I once dated this guy  and we would wax poetic about our (never to be) wedding day, well mostly the menu…ok really the deserts. Our wedding cake was to be chocolate dipped in chocolate, wrapped in chocolate with a hot chocolate center and a side dipping sauce of chocolate, with an optional chocolate pudding chaser.  How this could not be my soulmate, is beyond me; but the good news, me and that Chocosaurus Rex didn’t work out #winning, the bad news?  Ha! There is none. Check out how if the diabetes doesn’t kill you, chocolate will save you from stroking the fock out! It’s like motherfocking Kris Kringle in this bish!  Of course it’s the dark kind, with less sugar and caffeine, but it’s STILL CHOCOLATE SON!

 

 

 

WHAT IN THE HELL AM I GONNA BE FOR HALLOWEEN?

A sexy proctologist, a sexy parole officer, a sexy cat, a sexy rat, a sexy bat, a sexy tuna fish sandwich? Apparently whatsoever it is, they only make it in SEXY.

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE OCCUPY ERRYTHING CREW

This is getting festive, Cornell West  & DC’s Homie Lovah Friend Raheem DeVaughn got themselves arrested yesterday, during the MLK dedication, in DC.

The tent town in DC’s McPherson Square is taking up prime real estate from the people who already lived there.   I can’t wait for the city’s pungent and mighty homeless to revolt and start a RE-OCCUPY DC movement. That’s gonna be one FUNKY fresh fight.

 

 

 

SCRATCHING MY ASS

Yea, I care about that more than the, richer than me, fetum that someone I don’t know…why’s my ass so dry? Is it the changing weather? I guess I need to pull out the Shea Butter and get my wintry salves on.

Namaste, Bitches.

Dudes please ‘splain something;  why the foot long dukey digger? I had my theories which involved Tony Montana sized cocaine piles or using it as a special pimp whistle that only hoes can hear, but after a quick goo goo search I found that centuries ago in Asia, long nails on men conveyed wealth.

 

Hmmmm, so how did that aristocrat steze trickle down to Pookie and his Cranberry flavored Black ‘N Mild on the block?  Me no likey!

We make a lot of jokes about Rick Ross and his supple D cups around these parts but there’s nothing funny about the news coming from the Maybach Music camp today.

Ross suffered a seizure on a flight from Florida to Tennessee earlier today. That flight returned to the Ft. Lauderdale airport so an unconscious Ricky could get some medical attention. Hours later, he was released and tweeting that he was okay.

Convenient way to plug your new album, huh?

But, a short time after, he suffered a second seizure aboard a private flight. He was taken to a Birmingham, AL hospital where he is reportedly in stable condition. Ross was trying to get to Memphis were he was supposed to take the stage at 7:30 pm tonight.

Let’s hope the Bawse gets well…seizures are nothing to play with. The audience can wait.

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Lindsay Lohan, girl you need some Whitestrips (site kinda NSFW)

How young is TOO young for Nicki Minaj?

Those Basketball Wives won’t have Royce to pick on next season

Senate blocks Obama’s jobs bill

Woman sues after vibrator scratched that itch too much (OUCH!)

Do not f*#$ with Scarlett Johansson

Is it a wrap for The Gap?

Drake is still taking about Rihanna

’80s rocker Pete Burns is an example of when plastic surgery goes way wrong

Don’t forget to check out our fellow bloggers under the Brewshyt tab…there’s always good stuff there too!

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