Posted by Piper from the Brew | Posted in brewshyt | Posted on 30-11-2011
So yeah, I work with a lady who likes to snack, I mean who doesn’t right? Only problem is she prefers to snack in the chitter! That’s right, in the restroom is where her snack breaks go down. I have been baffled by her for months. She’s also the same lady who likes to do ‘catch-up’ chat in the bathroom, after she’s dropped a dump that would make you wanna take your own life and the life of innocent bystanders, it’s almost like a crime scene and you best believe she is the unsub (all my ‘Criminal Minds’ peeps know what I’m taumbout). But ok, maybe I can forgive the dumps of doom and destruction, maybe… I mean after all none of our #2′s smell especially delightful but Iady talking to me in the there when you know damn well I am fighting for my life and the life of my unborn children is just plain mean. What’d I ever do to you???
Today’s bathroom snack of choice was pizza, that’s right, PIZZA! she was in the chitter eating a mofo slice of pizza! Alls kinds of fecal matter and such just dancing atop the cheeses. *sigh* I know I “quit this bish” everyday, but today I seriously quit.
What do your co-workers do to make you question the existence of God???
Ask James Bond what he thinks and you’ll get more than an answer. Daniel Craig has had enough of reality TV stars complaining about losing their privacy. He tells British GQ:
“It’s not about being afraid to be public with your emotions or about who you are and what you stand for. But if you sell it off it’s gone. You can’t buy it back — you can’t buy your privacy back. ‘Ooh I want to be alone.’ F— you. We’ve been in your living room. We were at your birth. You filmed it for us and showed us the placenta and now you want some privacy? Look at the Kardashians, they’re worth millions. I don’t think they were that badly off to begin with but now look at them. You see that and you think ‘what, you mean all I have to do is behave like a f*cking idiot on television and then you’ll pay me millions. I’m not judging it — well, I am obviously.
Craig went on to say that he and wife, actress Rachel Weisz were able to keep their relationship and wedding a secret because they did things privately… as a private life should be, ya know, private. Love this guy.
Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Brew News, Brew Tube | Posted on 29-11-2011
Oneal Ron Morris, the transgender woman accused of injecting a mix of harmful chemicals into the rear ends of her “patients” has struck again (allegedly). A new victim has come forward claiming the Miami “doctor” seriously jacked up her face by injecting a mix of cement and tire sealant.
Rajee Narinesingh is also transgendered. She says she found out about Morris’ services via the transgendered circuit and -short on money- she thought it was a good deal.
Morris was arrested earlier this month on charges of practicing medicine without a license with serious bodily injury. Narinesingh said she took the risk and went to Morris because she wanted to make her outsides match how she felt on the inside. Damn. Haven’t we all felt that before in some way?
There’s a new show coming on TLC that takes a look at the reasons why some adults are waiting to have sex. It’s called Virgin Diaries. Sounds like an interesting starting point for a show on The Learning Channel, right? I mean, how many 30 year old virgins do you know these days? It could teach you something. But then, they dropped this weird promo for the show. It shows a couple who aren’t just virgins, they haven’t even kissed anyone. Ever. Like never been kissed. Never. They managed to save up all their kisses for the wedding day. Then this happened.
Hey, I got no problems with the virgins. I held onto mine longer than most, so big ups to you if you’re keeping it in your pants. But, c’mon. At least practice your smooch on the back of your hand from time to time (oh, don’t act like you never did that) so you won’t look like aliens trying to suck life from each other at the altar.
So, will you watch TLC’s Virgin Diaries this Sunday night?
Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Brewchies With Talent | Posted on 29-11-2011
**Due to Black (Lady Not Doing Anything Like Work) Friday, Brewchies with Talent is a bit late. Enjoy, nonetheless!
Christina Mendez, is a self taught Painter from and currently residing in El Bronx, NY. Her work is accessible and modern, yet there are shades of classic painters that are familiar and inviting. She is also art coordinator for two venues in NYC, assistant creative director of Mike Geffner’ Presents The Inspired Word (poetry and performance series). Her work can be viewed and purchased at her website: ArtByChristinaMendez.com
Tell us about your Training: I am mostly self-taught, although I’ve attended classes at the School of Visual Arts; and participated in a study abroad program in Barcelona, for which my portfolio qualified despite my not being formally enrolled as an art student.
How long have you been painting and who are your influences? On and off I have been painting for 4 years. I’m infatuated with the surrealists and hope that one day I have the skill to pull of a surrealistic piece. Salvador Dali was my first crush. I later came to know and admire Magritte, Degas, Picasso, de Ch irico, and Georgia O’Keefe greatly.
What would you do, if you couldn’t create? Surround myself by and help others who could. On some level I already do this by coordinating the artwork for a monthly open mic/art exhibition at The Alchemist Lounge in Brooklyn and for JujoMukti Tea Lounge in the Lower East Side. I like to encourage the creation of art by novices and the untrained. I see myself bringing something like The Students Art League (where art students teach others) to the Bronx in the future.
Describe your process: Most of the time I have no idea where my paintings are going when I begin them. I choose colors and let my brush go where it wants. I find that as I paint, the painting reveals itself to me. Then I fine tune details accordingly.
What do you want to get out of your art, what do you want to give to others through it? I want my art to connect me and others. To speak to the universal in everyone without the need for words, sort of like what is described in Rumi’s poetry. There are things we all intrinsically know, and feel, and can see in each other that unite us without having to speak them. I like that level of communication. I feel it is the truest and the most unifying. In a sense, I want to bring about some sort of spiritual unity through my work.
…speaking of Basketball Wives, two new cast members have hopped on board. And, yet again, they’re not-quite-wives.
Kesha Ni’cole Nichols (on the left) was to marry former New Jersey Net Richard Jefferson back in 2009 but he dumped her -via email- the day before their wedding. Kenya Bell (on the right) is the estranged wife of Golden State’s Charlie Bell. She’s a singer and former Miss Michigan who’s probably (yet, sadly) best known for trying to shank her husband with a box cutter during an argument in May, while they were reportedly in the midst of divorcing. BTW, he was fine and said he didn’t get stabbed. Anywho…she’s reportedly already emerged as the villain -ya think?
Even Tami Roman is laughing at the chicks who want seats on this bandwagon, saying: “I’m still surprised at how many people just wanna come into this situation. They should know by now we are not wrapped too tight. But they still keep coming.”
Evelyn Lozada continues to prove she is a mutha-effin factor. Lozada and her made for TV boo, Chad Ochocinco, have reportedly landed a deal for a spinoff show on VH1. The deal comes after Evelyn threatened to quitBasketball Wives after rumors surfaced that she was cheating on Chad. She reportedly got a big pay raise to go along with the deal and will film around her daughter’s college schedule for Basketball Wives. The new show will detail the run-up to their wedding.
Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Jews We'd Do | Posted on 27-11-2011
I have had a crush The Goldblum since the ’80′s but was always a little embarrassed to admit it. I mean what kind of black girl would admit to finding THIS: hot? What kind of teen would admit to watching “The Fly: 90 times just to see THIS:
None, that’s who! So, I buried my love deep inside. Like a sad secret… like a 15 year old bed wetter.
It wasn’t until years later where I met my dear friend Ms. M. who I proudly call my “Sister From Another Mister”, and got to chatting our secret celeb crushes and we both whispered…’JEFF GOLDBLUM’, that I felt maybe not so very crazy!
The older this guy has gotten, the more do-able he’s become. The nerd specs, yes. The salt and pepper do. Yum. But I think for me it may be his deadpan sarcastic delivery that makes my snide panties drop.
He just did a hilariously filthy guest star turn on the insane FX (not family-style) sitcom “The League” and my love flame is reignited. Speaking of fire…boy, I’d like to light some Menorah candles with you, Boo!
Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted in brew commentary | Posted on 25-11-2011
This post will not be popular with many, but like Bill Cosby, a Witch has gotta say it; celebrity turkey handouts make me itch! Now, I appreciate charity at ALL levels. We should all try to display it 365 days a year, but it’s something about when these stars, who celebrate extreme consumption, are paid to tweet about products they don’t even use, or pop bottles at strip clubs (unless it’s my birthday), or brag about buying Bugatti’s (did I spell this ish correctly?) pass out the poultry that irritates the Brewshyt outta moi. It never fails, the day after T-day these pictures start popping up with (insert celebrity name here) in sensible, we-are-ordinary people-gear and shoes, their silky extensions pull back with a few strategically placed wisps of hair out to make it look like they’re down for the cause, or the men break out those nerd glasses because that instantly means I can understand the poor’s plight with my special glasses for my special eyes.
Look, we know you are filthy, stinking rich which probably makes you feel hella guilty at times, especially since you push excess on a regular, so how about just writing a check and save the photo ops for the BET awards?
Disclaimer: the celebs in this posts may actually have a giving heart!
It’s no secret these Witches enjoy a culinary delight every now and then, from Piper and her steaks, to Elphaba and her empanadas, my Mexican delights and Fleur’s blood orange soda. We broads like to get down in the kitchen. We figured this holiday season would be a good time to get our fellow Brewchies in the mix by sharing a few of their favorite recipes. So, we’re posting some below, plus a few favorites. We don’t own any of these recipes or photos, so we’re including links where we can. Eat and be merry but not litigious. There’s always a disclaimer, right? Taste The Brew for more
Minnesota congresswoman and Republican presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon Monday and was “greeted” by a musical intro she probably hadn’t bargained for. Normally, The Roots play a tune that somehow relates to the guest as that guest’s “walk-on music.” Occasionally, they slay the guest with the musical choice (like when they played a Milli Vanilli song for the infamous lip-syncing Ashlee Simpson). Well, last night, the musical sword play continued as the band played Fishbone’s “Lyin’ Ass Bitch” as Bachmann’s walk-on music. Our buddy, (*sarcasm*) Questlove even tweeted about the musical selection before the show.
Come out and celebrate our 3rd blogiversary on February 24th at Tabaq Bistro (1336 U St NW, Washington, DC). We'll be mixing & mingling from 5 - 9 pm on the 2nd floor (Art Room). We'll be waiting for you!
So yeah, I work with a lady who likes to snack, I mean who doesn’t right? Only problem is she prefers to snack in the chitter! That’s right, in the restroom is where her snack breaks go down. I have been baffled by her for months. She’s also the same lady who likes to do ‘catch-up’ chat in the bathroom, after she’s dropped a dump that would make you wanna take your own life and the life of innocent bystanders, it’s almost like a crime scene and you best believe she is the unsub (all my ‘Criminal Minds’ peeps know what I’m taumbout). But ok, maybe I can forgive the dumps of doom and destruction, maybe… I mean after all none of our #2′s smell especially delightful but Iady talking to me in the there when you know damn well I am fighting for my life and the life of my unborn children is just plain mean. What’d I ever do to you???
Ask James Bond what he thinks and you’ll get more than an answer. Daniel Craig has had enough of reality TV stars complaining about losing their privacy. He tells British GQ:
I have had a crush The Goldblum since the ’80′s but was always a little embarrassed to admit it. I mean what kind of black girl would admit to finding THIS: 
The older this guy has gotten, the more do-able he’s become. The nerd specs, yes. The salt and pepper do. Yum. But I think for me it may be his deadpan sarcastic delivery that makes my snide panties drop.
