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Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss

Brew Tube: Katy Perry Does N*ggas In Paris

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in brew music, Brew Tube, katy perry, What's your call? | Posted on 19-03-2012


So what do you do if you’re a top-selling pop starlet devoid of melanin but you want to sing Jay-Z & Kanye’s N*ggas In Paris? You should probably stick to blasting it in your car with the windows rolled up so nobody will hear you when you drop the N-word 50-11 times. But, if you’re Katy Perry, you go on a popular London show, bring your band and backup singers, do a lot of lyric flipping and rely on some audience participation.

Perry decided to do her own version of the Negroes in Pareeee on BBC Radio 1Xtra’s “Live Lounge.” She acknowledged this probably wouldn’t be the best idea before she even started the song, saying “this is about to get real embarrassing.”
Taste The Brew for the video (catch it before it gets yanked)

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Brew Commentary: Dog-gone Shame!

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted in brew cause, brew commentary | Posted on 19-03-2012


This weather has been ‘bananas’ (© Ashanti) so I’ve been on the go. Yesterday, I hit one of my favorite stores then capped the day off with a nice lunch outside when I couldn’t help but noticing a trend; the world has gone to the dogs! Now, before you dog owners jump down my throat let me make it clear, I like dogs, but do I need to see your little Yorkie poo licking the ballet flats at Banana Republic? Or, stuntin’ for scraps next to my outside table like in Exhibit A above? Much like the cigarette smoker, this is just obnoxious to me. Not everyone wants to watch butt sniffing while they eat, unless they’re into stuff like that, but that’s another post for another day. Oh, and don’t get it twisted…just because that little fur ball is in a fancy bag it still doesn’t make any better. I can still smell his kibbles & bits!

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What’s Brewing?

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in brew bits, brewshyt, What's Brewing | Posted on 18-03-2012

Meet the tasteless man who allegedly sold Whitney Houston’s casket photo

Snooki, getting knocked up does not make you a MILF

Did Monica & Brandy go to blows?

Brew Politics: Is this how Mississippi rolls?

Did Stacey Dash’s attitude cost her another job?

Hair Hat Chronicles: They shootin’ in Derek J’s salon!

Marie Osmond peed her pants on stage (I can’t stop watching this)

Don’t forget to check out our fellow bloggers under the Brewshyt tab…there’s always good stuff there too!

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Brew Dating Woes: Let’s Discuss Mr. ‘One and Done’……………

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Posted by Piper from the Brew | Posted in brew dating woes | Posted on 15-03-2012

So I thought I’d take some time to discuss the ‘one and done’ dater, ya know, the dude that takes you out to someplace fairly fancy, ya’ll have a good time and all that successful first date stuff and you kinda look forward to seeing ole boy again, and it just so happens that ole boy can’t wait to see you as well, well he can’t wait to see your vagicat that is. See the ‘one and done’ dater is just that, a one and doner, this bamma ain’t looking forward to date #2, he done spent all the money he’s gonna spend on your bugee arse (hee hee!) In his mind he already paid for the vagi-cookie so the next time he sees you he fully expects you to be face down, ass up, why? cause that’s the way he likes to f*ck! Today I got a text from a ‘one and doner’ that went something like this:

One and Doner: “hey, good morning”

Pipes: “mornin!” 

One and Doner: “Had a great time last Saturday, what’s up this Sat? are you free?”

Pipes: “Yeah, Sat should be fine, are we going back to the place with the yummy martini’s? :)”

One and Doner: *insert 2 hours before replying* “Maybe”

Pipes: *insert no response at all*

One and Doner: “hello, you there? ok yeah we can go back there”

So I suspect One and Doner picked up on the fact that I required more dating before any vagicat viewing goes down so he changed his response, too late, I’m already turned off because he didn’t have the decency to fake it a little longer. “Maybe” meant “nah son, I took you out already, you buggin!” I’ve come across many many many one and doners in my lifetime, I know how they roll. Here’s the thing, I know most men wanna party in the pannies, on the first night preferably if they had a say but sir surely you don’t believe that a delicious sushi snack and a few drinks should afford you an invitation inside me??? Oh well Mr. One and Doner, perhaps we’ll meet agian, until then, lose my #!

Shame too, it’s not like I play hard to get or anything, in fact I’m pretty easy to get, but I don’t play when it comes to outtings and the purchase of snacks and spirits, I give good love *miss you Whitney :(* it’s the least a bamma can do……

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Brew Commentary: This is A Rant

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Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in brew commentary, Rant | Posted on 13-03-2012

Does this bish have on makeup?!

I’m sick. I hate being sick!  Feeling down and out puts me in a really really crappy mood. I don’t like feeling weak. I’mma motherflipping Thug!  I will kick my fever’s ass if I see it in the streets!

You know what I hate more than being sick? I hate daytime TV…and why in the HELL are the people from One Life To Live now on General Hospital? I’m SO CONFUSED! I’m in here puking my guts out but all I can think  is ‘Why does Todd Manning have a gun on Sonny Corinthos?’  Is it the fever talking?  I’m soo confused.

So,  I turn off the soaps and start clicking through channels and hit VH1 Soul and it hits me. I also hate Neo Soul. WTF is ‘NEO Soul?’ Good music is good music. Don’t classify it as something ‘other’ so that now I have to feel bad for thinking that Bilal looks like a miniature Billy Goat  and hoping that the Kindred the Family Soul decide to take a vow of silence and retire in Ghana to do missionary work. I HATE THEIR EFFING VOICES! Happy bish always wanna show off that she gotta man. Eff her and eff their shiny patchouli scented Negro love! I’ve been holding that in for YEARS! WHOOOSAH!!

I hate today’s hip hop. Someone let Mystikal back in the studio…and THIS is the hot fiyah he came up with?? Son, you had nothing but mad time to reflect, on your State Sponsored ‘Get Away’. And you come back calling yourself a ‘POLITICAL PRISONER’? What was political in forcing your cornrow engineer into giving you a Sloppy throaty? Was she Nancy Pelosi? I’m so confused.

MEH, I’m going back to my tea- no wait, SOMEONE ruined tea for me earlier taumbout “It’ll dehydrate you!” So I’m now going to have a comforting glass of water and go back to bed.  Good night. Mickey Fickies.

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