Bobby Brown sat down for his first interview since Whitney Houston’s death with mah sweet balding boo Matt Lauer of the Today Show. During the chat fest, Matt gets to the point and asks what everyone wants to know and what many people have long assumed: did Bobby get Whitney hooked on drugs? His answer: NO!

Bobby told Matt about the last time he saw Whitney, about a week before she died:

“She had this glow about her that was just, you know, incredible. I’m saying to myself, you know, ‘She must be… she must be doing really well,’ because she looked really well.”

Three of Bobby’s children and his fiancée join him for the interview which will air in two parts (Wednesday and Thursday) on Today. So, will you watch?

Image via NBC
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So I’m a pretty sturdy girl, not necessarily a certified USDA fluff-en-heimer but pretty damn sturdy, but just because ‘Vogue’ magazine won’t be banging my door down anytime soon to do a cover does not mean that I don’t thoroughly enjoy gettin my thickums sweat on. I mean I goes hard! I figure it’s 45 mins to an hour outta my day so I mine as well go ape shit with it. I make sure I have about 20 songs worth of gangsta rap on my ipod and I get it poppin, in other words… chunkles don’t play!

So in saying that, it truly disturbs me what I see when I go to the gym. Ladies with multi-guts strolling ever so gingerly on the treadmill with their homie by their side as they catch each other up on the days’ events, fellas with Pheadra Parks donkey booties taking slow strolls around all the equipment but not using any of it because the main thing they are there for is to troll for bishes….. sir at quick glance you look like a Lane Bryant model, is you serious???

Now this is not me bashing the swole folk, I’m down with them so I’m not going there, alls I’m saying is cut the bullchit and make it happen! Everybody ain’t trying to be a size 6 but everyone shoud be trying to be healthy and working up a good, focused sweat is good for everybody no matter what size you are. 

I’m always getting people coming up to me telling me how watching me go at it so hard really gets them going….. THEN GO! stop watching and GO!

We only get one life, you mine as well feel good about yourself while you’re navigating through it.

 

pic/Jesad.com

I hate food pictures on Facebook or Twit for Twats. THEY. GROSS. ME. OUT.  That slab of yard bird drizzled with some fake General Tso sauce does not make me hungry hunty, nor jealous of that dinner date you’ll have to pay back in punany later on. Anypieholeway, simply put your platter pictures make me wanna barf! But before you clapback, I’m not alone on this! My almost friends music comedians The Key of Awesome created a video about it called “Eat It, Don’t Tweet It” for all you frustrated foodies who are too busy snapping flicks instead of pleasing your palettes. Bon Appétit Brewchies!

Witch Out!

I don’t know what Brian McKnight has been doing lately and, frankly, I don’t really care. I haven’t checked for him since, well… ever. I think he once had a TV show and a radio show or whatever. But, anywho, in the quest to remain relevant, Sir McKnight is releasing a freaky mixtape and now finds himself actually trending on Twitter (that’s like, a celebrity goal these days). He dropped a snippet of the first song and he calls it… wait for it…
Taste The Brew for the video

So it’s a cloudy, rainy day in the DMV, I woke up this morning wanting a yummy breakfast snack, some hot tea and maybe a shower…… maybe (depending on how strong my lazy game is, something about a rainy Sunday makes a clean body seem unncessary…) So anyhoo, I’m minding my bitness, as usual, and I wake up to 3 text messages from 3 different fellas…. all wanting to know what I’m doing today. Translation: “hey girl, it’s raining, can I come over and hit it?” Come on man!!  I often wonder if even men get tired of their own b.s. but I’m guessing no. Yes it’s a rainy Sunday, the conditions are perfect for a day of snacks and humping but for some odd reason the thought of some random, horny (and likely hungry cat expecting me to cook for him) is the last thing I wanna entertain.

I wanna lay in my bed, watch ‘Lifetime’ or the ‘Girlfriends’ marathon on Centric, maybe wash some clothes, maybe wash my ass, eat some snacks and fiddle around on facebook all day. See how none of that included a peen??? Sirs keep your sometimesy peen and your ill intentions and gift that ish to some other broad who may be interested. 

BUZZ OFF!!!!!

OK, I’m just going to say it up-front… “Think Like A Man” did not suck. In fact it had moments where it was downright charming. As completely stupid as I think that man’s book is, and as much as I believe that his ‘advice’ is nothing but common sense  dressed up in sexist down-homeism  and LAWD knows the idea of taking advice from Mr. Hightower  of many failed marriages makes my skin crawl.  I mean the man was on the advisory board of Bullet Head and Romeo, are you kidding me?

All of those prejudices against the man with the  79 piece buttons suits aside, I have to admit:  The movie surrounding the Oprah induced hype of his advice book, was *gulp*good. There. I said it.

Will it revolutionize Negroidian Cinema. No. Does it have to? I don’t think so. There are mediocre films being spit out by Hollywood on a daily basis, that aren’t even trying to be ORIGINAL material. So, kudos on someone cranking out an original script (albiet based on the Rom-Com play book).

Let me address the comments of preconceived judgments on our Facebook Fan page (LIKE Us, you t’aint got nothing better to do!)

THE SAME OLD BLACK ACTORS

Yes, these actually are the same old black actors. And for once none of them made my skin crawl.  Meggings DSL Good was not a slorey whore.  Taraji P. Henson was not a caterwauling watery eyed negress. Kevin Hart was used as completely ridiculously and effective comedic  exposition. Romany Malco (my sweet chocolate baby) brought the sexy and toned down his ‘commercial movie’ hijinxs.  Michael Ealy was fine, sorry he just can’t get out of that role, such is his lot in life.  Gabrielle Union was at least 90% less uptight entitled bitch. Regina Hall was actually allowed to be more than the poor man’s Sanaa Lathan. Even Terrence J. was adorkable.

And funny, when those horrible non-negroid romantic comedies get cast, you realize THOSE are the same non-black actors too? Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson have sucked in everything they have given us as a duo besides “Zoolander”. Hell, Drew Barrymore has built an entire career on being a sweet faced lisping ingenue. At 50. When Will Farrell and Jon C. Reilly make the same movie over and over and over, critics consider them comedy-brilliant. Alas, that’s the power of the Fooking Catalina Wine Mixer.  Hell, Hollywood has us so twisted that  Cameron Diaz has been butterfacing it up as the hot girl for more than a decade. All I’m saying is… the SAME actors are in rotation, IN GENERAL. Big Hollywood movies  are made by relationships and the ability to bring in money, clearly not raw unbridled talent. Hi, Tom Cruise.

It’s nice to finally see our same actors used in a lovely and classy manner.

STEREOTYPICAL

Nope no stereotypes here son.

The jokes were actually funny, there was no stereotypical neck popping, eye rolling. It was actually what we as a people have been saying we have been wanting all along. “Why can’t we have a regular ass romantic comedy?” Well dammit, it pains me to say it…but since the “Best Man” this just might be our “regular ass rom-com”.  Actually at one point my fave dude  and I turned to each other and said ‘that is sooo us.’   When can you say is the last time you have seen yourself in a typical rom-com, and the person actually LOOKED like you? I feel dirty.

THE BAD

I could have done with at least 100% less Steve Harvey, who served as somewhat of a shilling talking head, giving running commentary throughout the movie. We didn’t need that. It felt like a long line infomercial intercut through an actually good movie.

Lala Anthony, luckily she was given the role as homely best friend and while she was on screen I got to eat the Five Guys burger I brought into the theater with me. But man, Lady Fetch can’t act. Oh and speaking of bad acting… um is Chris Ike Brown functionally ‘tarded? Dude so learned his 10 lines phonetically. Bless his Forrest Gump heart. Gratefully both were on screen in small doses.

“The Cookie”…my vagi-cat is not a cookie. I cannot stand cloying cutesie names for female genitalia. I only use vagi-cat because the other word I wanna use will filter our website as Pr0n.

THE GOOD

The many random ass cameos. No electric slide. Actually—no line dancing at all… No church scenes. No woman getting beaten down only to be brought back by the love of one good light skindded blue collared man.  Men being real FRIENDS to one another.  Men showing vulnerablity to their women. Men committing to women…ON THEIR OWN.

Dammit Mr. Hightower, you did good.

That’s the gazillion dollar question! Because I really can’t tell from your 5,011 vacation pics you posted WHILE on vacation. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t beam up that first cliché picture of your sandy feet or standing in front of the Eiffel because I am happy you’re seeing the world. What I don’t need to see is your wife’s wack ass espadrilles and entire maxi dress collection from Kohl’s.

Vacation should be a time to unplug and relax. You pay thousands to get away from the same mofo’s you want to impress with all these fake fun pictures. If you’re so busy trying to upload flicks or clapback at their comments, how are you really having fun? I don’t care that you swam with the dolphins, or sharted with the sharks! I really don’t need to see your bloated dinner plate, EVERY night. Food pictures kinda gross me out anyway, but that’s a whole other post. Bottom-line; LET. US. MISS. YOU. BOO. Oh, and when you get back, edit that album a bit before you post it; 10-15 pictures maximum and leave out this one.

Remember, I beat you because I love you. Witch out!

Basketball Wives punching bag Jennifer Williams is suing Nia Crooks, her former friend and assistant of her other former friend, Evelyn Lozada (are you keeping up?). If you watched the show Monday night, then you saw this open-handed smack in the mouf…

Crooks claims she bent over backwards to help Williams during her divorce from former NBA player Eric Williams and now Jennifer is acting all brand new with her new crop of friends (wink wink, Al Reynolds, NeNe Leakes, etc…). Williams pretty much ignored Nia during the show, until that argument and fight broke out. Williams claims the slap left her with a whiplash-like neck injury and post traumatic stress. She told the NY Daily News, “I didn’t watch the video for a long time because I lived it. It’s disturbing. It’s humiliating. I get anxiety just thinking about it. She hit me with her open hand on my cheek. I’ve never been hit in my life. Violence used against any person is wrong but when a woman hits another woman it sets a horrible example for young girls everywhere. I choose to use the justice system to fight back.” Um, what do these broads think they’re signing up for? Shop, eat, argue, make up, argue some more, fight, drink, then go out to eat again. Isn’t that the formula for this nonsense?

Jennifer –who claimed during the show that Nia doesn’t even have anything to win in a lawsuit–is seeking unspecified damages. Word is Jenn is also planning a press conference to talk about the lawsuit.

If you missed the show, don’t fool with your DVR (you’ll never get those brain cells back), let my YouTube friend in my head, Funky Dineva, give you the quick recap. Trust. It’s worth it.

Image via Jesse Ward/NY Daily News
Source
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An Egyptian man who went online to watch p0rn for the first time out of curiousity (*side eye*) was shocked to find out his wife had the starring role in eleven…count them, E-LEBBIN films. The man, who goes by “Ramadan,” says he fell out on the floor at the internet shop upon noticing his wife in the films (presumably, on all fours bangin’ in a turban, humpin’ in a hijab, Debbie was doing De Nile – I could really go on for days here). The wife initially denied it but later confessed that she never loved Ramadan, despite the 16 years and four kids they share. Cold, Debbie. That’s cold. It’s not clear if Ramadan plans to file for divorce.

Would you stick around if your spouse had a p0rny past?

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Terrell Owens and alllll his babies’ mommas to appear on Dr. Phil

Love & Hip Hop’s Somaya Reece got her bewbs reduced

Win a date with #RHOA’s Sheree Whitfield… for charity

Wanna smell like Nicki Minaj?

Heidi Montag is still trying for that 15th minute, huh?

More jail for Mystikal

Angelina Jolie’s non-manicured hands are hurting my spirit

Basketball Wives’ Royce Reed’s relationship with her 50-11th TV boo gets aired out by his baby momma #messy

Don’t forget to check out our fellow bloggers under the Brewshyt tab…there’s always good stuff there too!

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It happens more often than we’d like to admit, you just don’t undersand why the guy  you are regularly hanging and smanging with just don’t seem to be on the same page, as you.   He seems to like you just fine – he’s pleasant and kind, but things just aren’t all that gooey vomity love, like-Titanic– in 3 D.  (Ok seriously, I hated that movie, they had to put that ish in 3D?! Because 2 D wasn’t long, and annoying enough? You need the boringness (yes- new word) to come ATCHA!?) And you really want some Heart Will Go On Action (typing that just made me puke on my keyboard). Near far… wherever you… are black on black  JackMalik and Rose*tta’isha LOVE!

Have you ever found yourself exclaiming “I just need more from the person I’m dating?!”…(needle on a record sound there… aw remember records, no? Eff you, youngin’.) 

Perhaps that’s the root of the problem, we need to define that word once and for all.

Dating.  One simple word can mean many things depending on your perspective.

So, let’s see if the Dudes can help us get some clarity.

How do you define “Dating”? 

Are there levels to it, like does seeing someone once a month NOT equal dating them? Is dating someone exclusively any different from them being considered your girlfriend?  How/how not?  Or is all of this just wacky semantics designed to keep the black man down? What say you?

*****

SuPreme:  Well, there is no truly no rhyme or reason on this – men DEFINITELY don’t think the same on this, and neither do women. It depends on age, culture, environment, etc. – so many things. So this is just me personally – not speaking for men in general…

Dating for me is me and a woman going out somewhat regularly. If we’re calling each other weekly and consistently making plans to get together – with obvious romantic talk and actions – we’re dating. Doesn’t mean we’re exclusive. We can get to that point, but that doesn’t prohibit me from going out with someone else, and I’m open about that. Same for the woman.

I personally don’t sleep with multiple women on a rotating basis – meaning, if I’m dating a woman, and also going out with another – and woman A and I are intimate – I’m not also sleeping with woman B. Even if she wants to. If I feel strongly enough about woman B, I cut off the sexual encounters with woman A – and most likely stop dating her. Dating for me is more casual – we go out, enjoy each other’s company, vibe – see if we’re working towards something more; see if we fit.

The last woman I dated – we dated probably for a year. Exclusively. No, we weren’t boyfriend & girlfriend, but we pretty much only saw each other, and definitely only had sex with each other. But we never got to boyfriend/girlfriend – which to me is just a deeper connection. We weren’t showing up at formal events together, and we weren’t chilling with each other’s friends and families like that – it was just us. When she got a job in another city – there was no need to “break up” – we enjoyed each other’s company and time, and remained friends. But we obviously weren’t dating any more. Had we been boyfriend/girlfriend, we would’ve had to talk about where we went from there – do I move with her? Does she turn the job down? Etc…

So I DO think there are different levels of dating, like casual dating and exclusive dating. And exclusive dating doesn’t mean boyfriend/girlfriend to me. Now another guy? Might have a TOTALLY different take on things.

 

DUDE DARKNESS:  1- Levels To Dating.. YES!
 
2- Seeing somebody once a month does NOT by default equal dating them! There are questions to be considered…What happens when you guys get together… is there distance involved preventing daily contact… did you guys agree to a relationship or PLAY IT BY EAR status… did you AGREE to being  BOOTY CALL CHIC and want to move from SIDE CHIC to MAIN CHIC without LETTING HIM KNOW…. or did you agree to be booty call chic KNOWING DAMN WELL that you want MAIN CHIC status and all along knew from the BEGINNING you were going to accept the position just to get your foot in the door and hope he gets used to you so you can move on up??!!!
 
3- Exclusive dating does equal boyfriend \ girlfriend status… DUH.. What the H-LL else does EXCLUSIVE mean??? You and 5 other people???
 
4 – PAY ATTENTION … EVERYTHING IS DESIGNED TO KEEP THE BLACK MAN DOWN… NOW-A-DAYS ( Treyvon Martin and Alabama Shootings ) THEY JUST SHOOTING US IN THE STREETS LIKE THEY’RE BIG GAME HUNTING AND WE’RE BIG GAME!!!!

 

 Phlip!:  To me, a “date” is anything with a level of romantic interest involved, no matter the “level,” as described. Once a week, once a month, every couple of months. If there is even the possibility of some interest there then it is a date.
Dating someone exclusively is different from being their boy/girlfriend. Just because that person is the only one you’re seeing at a time doesn’t necessarily make them your significant other until both you have agreed to that position. Sure, it is the last step before being in a committed relationship, but “dating exclusively” is wildly different from “in a relationship” in that the latter suggests that you are off the market while the former suggests that you’re still open to applications.

 

 

 

 Elphaba: Sooo…who’s more confused than before? *raises hand* I guess the only solution is to TALK to the person you are seeing, and negotiate terms that you’re comfortable with. It would be really bad to assume you’re working on a commited relationship, when his definition of your relationship looks like a revolving door.  A guy actually, told me that once…true story.  He told me he thought of his dating life as a revolving door, then he asked me to dinner. I can’t make this ish up.  I had the lobster, and everything that happened after that I take full responsiblity for.  And STILL I rise?

 

 

 

Brewchies what’s your take on the often  confusing  ”D” word?

So, Ashley Judd wrote an op-ed piece regarding some criticism she received for her perceived puffy face.  I personally have not sought out photos of Ashley Judd since, well.. um ever, pretty lady that she is. So, I’ll take her word on this “puff”.  Apparently people on the ye old evilnet were feverishly debating if she had had some work done or not.  She attributes any change to her appearance to the medication she’d been on.  Regarding the actual criticism, she says:

That women are joining in the ongoing disassembling of my appearance is salient. Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate. It privileges, inter alia, the interests of boys and men over the bodily integrity, autonomy, and dignity of girls and women. It is subtle, insidious, and never more dangerous than when women passionately deny that they themselves are engaging in it. This abnormal obsession with women’s faces and bodies has become so normal that we (I include myself at times—I absolutely fall for it still) have internalized patriarchy almost seamlessly. We are unable at times to identify ourselves as our own denigrating abusers, or as abusing other girls and women.

A case in point is that this conversation was initially promulgated largely by women; a sad and disturbing fact. (That they are professional friends of mine, and know my character and values, is an additional betrayal.)

That the conversation about my face was initially promulgated largely by women is a sad and disturbing fact.Read the Entire Article Here

Ashley raises some hugely valid points on the damage we do to ourselves as women by this type of physical criticism.  Personally, I tend to shy away from the physicals and go straight for the clothes. I always maintain that you never know what people are going through, “is she sick? maybe she’s sick?”– However, people can totally help what they wear (true story). However, I may have to call some bulljive on a bit of this.  Celebs are constantly wailing about their weight loss for dollars. Celebs are shilling creams and salves and exercise equipment (when times get rough), diet books, wigs, weaves, make up.

The message is “I am the picture of Perfection: Look like me, smell like me, I AM THE DREAM”.  Hollywood, created this cycle. The magazines, especially the tabloids that CELEBRITIES get paid to be on the cover of: “See my post baby body! You lady in Kansas in the double-wide, can totally hate yourself now!” are the culprit, and your peers are their henchmen.  Change your peers, change the media,  then the American public will follow suit.  You can’t have it both ways. You can’t happily pose for numerous People’s Most Beautiful issues, then take issue with critiques of your beauty or perceived lack-thereof.   

  Her new show on ABC is kind of good though, brightside?  startcynicism/ And isn’t that really what this is all about?/ endcynicism

I’m calling a mulligan! I dont reallly know what that means in terms of this…but I just really like saying MULLIGAN!