Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Ask A Dude, Ask A Dude The Round Table | Posted on 22-05-2014
Author, Poet, and Contemporary Dancer Chris Rock once said “If you take the duration of a relationship and divide it in half that’s how long the couple has been breaking up”. Is there any truth to this? How long does it take men to detach?
SUpreme: How long it takes a man to detach is based on the man – there’s no general, uniform answer. Honestly – I don’t know why people think all men or all women fit into the same box on things, ESPECIALLY with these new age emo Drake dudes running around fluffing up ish and exfoliating their eyebrows. Some men are more feminine than the women – and I DON’T mean effeminate gay dudes, either!
So the only way I can answer is to put my own detachment. I’m rather cold – if I’ve truly detached from anything, it’s instant once it happens. I will notice myself caring less, and can warn about that – but once it’s gone, I’m gone mentally. It’s not coming back. The “cut the relationship in half” thing doesn’t work with me – cuz I would never stay in a relationship that long if I was truly checked out. What’s the point? Do us both a favor and move on for the better of BOTH our lives.
STONEy: Depends on how deep your feelings are. Most men make the the mistake of seeking comfort outside of the relationship. If you really love someone you try to work through it. If not its almost instant
CASHER: Naw, I don’t think that’s true. Especially for a long-term relationship. As far as how long it takes men to detach, that depends on the man and how connected he was from the beginning. If it was a relationship full of pressure and stress, it probably won’t take take that long. But if there was some substance or source that he got from that woman, it may take a long time. Best friend’s are hard to move on from. Great lovers are hard to move on from. “Matching crazies” are hard to move on from. It depends on how deep and what your level of substance was for him.
Phlip: I cannot say that is true for both parties. It can be that something comes up between the parties that just cannot be reconciled, or one party is simply too stubborn to work toward an amicable solution. I cannot imagine that a couple that has been together longer than a year or two spending an entire half of their time working towards breaking up.
When it IS over, though, men tend to be able to shift focus and actually move on more easily. I won’t say it is “immediately,” but generally he and some of his best friends are working toward moving on as soon as possible. (So his crusty bestie Ced is taking him to all the scrip clubs. That same bamma that ate your food every Thanksgiving. Fucker-E.)
Gross Dude: Hell, that applies to F^ck buddies as well. I’ve been breaking up with a few for a good 5-10 years now….and we weren’t even F^ck buddies that long. (- BLANK STARE- E.)
Apropos of nothing…after looking for all of these 80′s avatars… I wanna jam!!