Ah, the simpler times…I bet HE never said “I mean I just wanna kick it!”
(Well, at least to her face.)
It happens more often than we’d like to admit, you just don’t undersand why the guy you are regularly hanging and smanging with just don’t seem to be on the same page, as you. He seems to like you just fine – he’s pleasant and kind, but things just aren’t all that gooey vomity love, like-Titanic– in 3 D. (Ok seriously, I hated that movie, they had to put that ish in 3D?! Because 2 D wasn’t long, and annoying enough? You need the boringness (yes- new word) to come ATCHA!?) And you really want some Heart Will Go On Action (typing that just made me puke on my keyboard). Near far… wherever you… are black on black JackMalik and Rose*tta’isha LOVE!
Have you ever found yourself exclaiming “I just need more from the person I’m dating?!”…(needle on a record sound there… aw remember records, no? Eff you, youngin’.)
Perhaps that’s the root of the problem, we need to define that word once and for all.
Dating. One simple word can mean many things depending on your perspective.
So, let’s see if the Dudes can help us get some clarity.
How do you define “Dating”?
Are there levels to it, like does seeing someone once a month NOT equal dating them? Is dating someone exclusively any different from them being considered your girlfriend? How/how not? Or is all of this just wacky semantics designed to keep the black man down? What say you?
SuPreme moves like Jagger
SuPreme: Well, there is no truly no rhyme or reason on this – men DEFINITELY don’t think the same on this, and neither do women. It depends on age, culture, environment, etc. – so many things. So this is just me personally – not speaking for men in general…
Dating for me is me and a woman going out somewhat regularly. If we’re calling each other weekly and consistently making plans to get together – with obvious romantic talk and actions – we’re dating. Doesn’t mean we’re exclusive. We can get to that point, but that doesn’t prohibit me from going out with someone else, and I’m open about that. Same for the woman.
I personally don’t sleep with multiple women on a rotating basis – meaning, if I’m dating a woman, and also going out with another – and woman A and I are intimate – I’m not also sleeping with woman B. Even if she wants to. If I feel strongly enough about woman B, I cut off the sexual encounters with woman A – and most likely stop dating her. Dating for me is more casual – we go out, enjoy each other’s company, vibe – see if we’re working towards something more; see if we fit.
The last woman I dated – we dated probably for a year. Exclusively. No, we weren’t boyfriend & girlfriend, but we pretty much only saw each other, and definitely only had sex with each other. But we never got to boyfriend/girlfriend – which to me is just a deeper connection. We weren’t showing up at formal events together, and we weren’t chilling with each other’s friends and families like that – it was just us. When she got a job in another city – there was no need to “break up” – we enjoyed each other’s company and time, and remained friends. But we obviously weren’t dating any more. Had we been boyfriend/girlfriend, we would’ve had to talk about where we went from there – do I move with her? Does she turn the job down? Etc…
So I DO think there are different levels of dating, like casual dating and exclusive dating. And exclusive dating doesn’t mean boyfriend/girlfriend to me. Now another guy? Might have a TOTALLY different take on things.
It's UN-possible to be Funkier Than George
DUDE DARKNESS: 1- Levels To Dating.. YES!
2- Seeing somebody once a month does NOT by default equal dating them! There are questions to be considered…What happens when you guys get together… is there distance involved preventing daily contact… did you guys agree to a relationship or PLAY IT BY EAR status… did you AGREE to being BOOTY CALL CHIC and want to move from SIDE CHIC to MAIN CHIC without LETTING HIM KNOW…. or did you agree to be booty call chic KNOWING DAMN WELL that you want MAIN CHIC status and all along knew from the BEGINNING you were going to accept the position just to get your foot in the door and hope he gets used to you so you can move on up??!!!
3- Exclusive dating does equal boyfriend \ girlfriend status… DUH.. What the H-LL else does EXCLUSIVE mean??? You and 5 other people???
4 – PAY ATTENTION … EVERYTHING IS DESIGNED TO KEEP THE BLACK MAN DOWN… NOW-A-DAYS ( Treyvon Martin and Alabama Shootings ) THEY JUST SHOOTING US IN THE STREETS LIKE THEY’RE BIG GAME HUNTING AND WE’RE BIG GAME!!!!
Iggy Pop's my retinas
Phlip!: To me, a “date” is anything with a level of romantic interest involved, no matter the “level,” as described. Once a week, once a month, every couple of months. If there is even the possibility of some interest there then it is a date.
Dating someone exclusively is different from being their boy/girlfriend. Just because that person is the only one you’re seeing at a time doesn’t necessarily make them your significant other until both you have agreed to that position. Sure, it is the last step before being in a committed relationship, but “dating exclusively” is wildly different from “in a relationship” in that the latter suggests that you are off the market while the former suggests that you’re still open to applications.
Crotch Shot sponsored by Poise
Elphaba: Sooo…who’s more confused than before? *raises hand* I guess the only solution is to TALK to the person you are seeing, and negotiate terms that you’re comfortable with. It would be really bad to assume you’re working on a commited relationship, when his definition of your relationship looks like a revolving door. A guy actually, told me that once…true story. He told me he thought of his dating life as a revolving door, then he asked me to dinner. I can’t make this ish up. I had the lobster, and everything that happened after that I take full responsiblity for. And STILL I rise?
Brewchies what’s your take on the often confusing ”D” word?