VH1’s dead horseBasketball Wives is returning for a 5th season, Monday, August 19th. And, there’s a new wife in the mix. Tasha Marbury, wife of the Vaseline-eating Stephon, has joined the cast. Admittedly, I used to tune in faithfully for this crapfest and complain about it the whole time. Yet, I’d still watch. But, after the last couple of seasons of ratchetness, I’m turning in my viewer card. Every season, the show promises to do better, be more positive, yaada yaada yaada, and… well, it doesn’t. This new season picks up where Chad Johnson’s forehead left off…
I. Watch. Basketball. Wives. I feel like I should be confessing this in the basement of a non-profit while my ‘buddies’ acknowledge my struggles with trashy tv abuse.
Yeah I KNOW I’m part of the problem, I fuel the fire, I also beat babies and kick puppies, okay? But before you ‘fly-abovers’ get all indignant with me, hear me out. I’m done! But it’s not due to some eureka moment where my desire to find quality programming has taken over my lust for the ludicrous. I like it and I’m okay with whatever people may think. Back to the breakup; I’m quitting the show because Monday night’s reunion was some brewshyt. (*in my Jennifer Jersey accent*) Lissennnn, we all know #BBW is trashy and stank. Every week we can count on Nostrils O’Neal’s feigned surprise when her minions pop-off, a drunk ass Tami bullying session and Evelyn trying to ‘sting’ everyone on her path to Puerto Rico.
So why not just leave it at that? It took me 20 minutes to fine tune my air violin while Shaunie recalled how she fights ‘the man’ for ‘balance’ and how it’s working because they showed Ev and Tami getting mammograms. Um, those broads are like 45, mammograms are mandatory boo! Throwing a camera on it doesn’t make it positive. Lissennnn Va’Shaundya, you’re a small screen pimp, be okay with that. Rock your pink pimp tux, practice your pimp hand and skip the pacifying. See Kris Jenner for further clarification. If it’s ignant, let it be just that. Don’t go changing…as the song goes.
To devote the first 10 minutes to this save face effort just because of the backlash felt forced and about as uncomfortable as Susie’s struggle jaw. Even John Salley was over it. What would #BBW be without Evelyn’s tapping foot of fury and Kenya’s kitten heels? Oh, I know–> canceled!
Basketball Wives punching bag Jennifer Williams is suing Nia Crooks, her former friend and assistant of her other former friend, Evelyn Lozada (are you keeping up?). If you watched the show Monday night, then you saw this open-handed smack in the mouf…
Crooks claims she bent over backwards to help Williams during her divorce from former NBA player Eric Williams and now Jennifer is acting all brand new with her new crop of friends (wink wink, Al Reynolds, NeNe Leakes, etc…). Williams pretty much ignored Nia during the show, until that argument and fight broke out. Williams claims the slap left her with a whiplash-like neck injury and post traumatic stress. She told the NY Daily News, “I didn’t watch the video for a long time because I lived it. It’s disturbing. It’s humiliating. I get anxiety just thinking about it. She hit me with her open hand on my cheek. I’ve never been hit in my life. Violence used against any person is wrong but when a woman hits another woman it sets a horrible example for young girls everywhere. I choose to use the justice system to fight back.” Um, what do these broads think they’re signing up for? Shop, eat, argue, make up, argue some more, fight, drink, then go out to eat again. Isn’t that the formula for this nonsense?
Jennifer –who claimed during the show that Nia doesn’t even have anything to win in a lawsuit–is seeking unspecified damages. Word is Jenn is also planning a press conference to talk about the lawsuit.
If you missed the show, don’t fool with your DVR (you’ll never get those brain cells back), let my YouTube friend in my head, Funky Dineva, give you the quick recap. Trust. It’s worth it.
Image via Jesse Ward/NY Daily News Source Want more Witches’ Brew?
#BBW Tami Roman has decided that her latest target to assure she stays on Shaunie The Pimp’s payroll is newcomer and twang connoisseur Kesha Nichols. That’s fine, I understand that beef is what’s for dinner and assures your place in Shaunie’s pockets heart. Last week, Tami and her Fork of Judgment were in the midst of bullying Kesha when she uttered the “who’s gonna check me boo?” of the season: ”Bitch, bitch and more bitch”. Ok, funny line…and since catch-phrases sell, Tami decided to cash in on her website …in the form of… wait for it..wait for it…a t-shirt!!
Aren’t they…um, original?:
Now, correct me if I am wrong, but didn’t Tami bust up in Evelyn’s fake shoe spot over Ev’s “Non-MF’n Factor” shirts a while back? So it’s okay now? I smell a flip-flopper and I don’t mean sandals boo. So, since you love catch phrases ”until you do right by me”…you sittin’ The Brew’s Cornball Corner!
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