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Brew Bits: Apollo Nida is Going Back to the Pokey

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in brew bits, Real Housewives of atlanta | Posted on 08-07-2014

"A Mother's Love" Opening Night

Phaedra Parks better brush up on her Sip N’ Send Off planning because her hubby is going back to his home away from home. Today, a Georgia judge sentenced Apollo Nida to 8 years in prison and 5 years of supervised release. He actually got off light since he was facing 30 years behind bars (*cough… he cooperated… cough cough*). All of this stemmed from Apollo’s conspiracy to commit bank fraud charges earlier this year. Apollo allegedly made up fake collection companies to access credit card info and that’s a no-no. Phaedra better sell some more donkey booty DVDs, tasers and tacky funeral packages since Apollo also owes $4.5 million in restitution. How soon before the “Phaedra: Single in the City” spinoff, Andy Cohen?

Image via Prince Williams/FilmMagic
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Cornball Corner: Khloe Kardashian

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted in brew bits, Cornball corner, French Montana, khloe kardashian | Posted on 03-07-2014

rs_634x1024-140419101334-634.Khloe-Kardashian-French-Montana.jl.041914,<— the “Try Too Hard” awards goes to…

Despite what you think the reason this Kardashian is sitting in our Brew’s Cornball Corner has nothing to do with her sharing DNA with THE most vapid and annoying family in both Americas. She’s there because of that scuzzy scrotum head she calls her man, French Montana. The rapper’s wife, YES WIFE, Deen Kharbouch, the one he “Kevin Harted”, says French is ALLEGEDLY a deadbeat daddy who hasn’t seen their son in MONTHS. Maybe her claim is not 100% accurate, because there are two sides to every story, but I’m still giving the side eye because this isn’t the first time Khloe has dealt with a man who had kids. Actually, didn’t your HUSBAND Lamar Odom’s ex say you were not for the chulrren like that? I cannot respect any woman who thinks it’s okay to accept a Jeep Wrangler and other trinkets from a man who doesn’t see his offspring or even have a 529 plan for them. As his ‘rib’, you should be encouraging all that, feel me? So stew in the corner and figure out how does one’s life take them down the road to the land of fake Moroccan Bammas?

French Montana’s wife sub tweets:

What say you, Brewchies?

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Can’t with the CAPS LOCK key!

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted in brew bits | Posted on 12-05-2014

caps_lock
I’ve noticed something on my Book of Faces feed that both perplexes and intrigues me at the same time; most of my ‘friends’ who constantly abuse the caps lock key are uh, how do you say, are a bit, uh, um, GHETTO SPECIAL! They’re always screaming while pointing out various injustices by their exes, the postal carrier or the “man” at the likka store. They announce their weekend plans or quote a King James bible verse before announcing their WEEKEND PLANS IN ALL CAPS before the obligatory –> #TURNDOWNFORWHAT?. THEY’RE. ALWAYS. HOLLERIN’! I so need the dude who wrote Freakonomics to do some sort of freaky research to prove what I am seeing.
keep-calm-and-turn-off-caps-lock
Just me? OK, FINE BUT ALL CAPS LOCK OFFENDERS ARE FOREVER CHILLING IN THE ‘HIDE’ SECTION WITH THE SHARENTERS!

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I can finally get behind Tweetin’ Tyrese…

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted in brew bits, Tyrese | Posted on 08-05-2014

tg_05-tyrese-gibson_0432c

Black Ty is driving and spitting on black marriages, or lack thereof. Check out what he had to say about how reality shows are ruining the black family.

Now he goes a little bit off kilter as per usual and ends with a song but Bless his lil’ illiterate tweetin’ heart!

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Brew Sigh: Floyd Mayweather wants the Clippers?

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted in brew bits, brew commentary, Floyd Mayweather Jr | Posted on 30-04-2014

floyd mayweather money burning

This money burning ninja right here…SMH. So I guess since Floyd Mayweather has a fight coming up he felt the need to increase the hype by throwing his name into the loop to buy the Clippers after Donald Sterling got the boot. Yeah, no! Boo kitten, just stick to buying Birkin bags in all sorts of outrageous colors for your harem of racial ambiguous broads, k?

floyd birkin

Just continue to post pictures of your blood diamonds of ginamous and unrealistic proportions on Instagram!

floyd-mayweather-audemars-piguet-baguette-diamonds-splashy-splash

Old money folks don’t do thisssss!!! But you get an A for aiming high or low, I guess?

floyds haren<— isn’t this what scientists say everyone will look like in the year 2040 or something?

From one extreme ignant to the other? Nah, son. All money ain’t good money.

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