<— the “how you say some silly shyt like that” look
White Jesus only knows why Deb Antney from
No Love & No Hip Hop Atlanta is my spirit animal! I guess ratchet television makes for some strange bedfellows. I think she reminds me of the candy lady in the ‘jects who wheels and deals all damn day with an unlit Newport hanging out of her mouth. You already know Wacka Flocka’s mama is everyone’s first pick in spades because won’t NO RENEGING be taking place, SON! YOU RENEGE? YOU DIE! Deb is like the wise, raspy-voiced hood mom who schooled you on everything from relationships to why TOPS will always be better than Backwoods. All this advice while you sat on her plastic kitchen chair drinking her good juice from a Dollar Store pitcher. She looks like the auntie who don’t never bring shyt to the cookout but she’s leaving with a bag filled with plates for her boo who couldn’t make it and you betta not say anything! Deb looks like she sleeps with her eyes open in her big chair, near the window and when someone tries to whisper in the back room, she yells, “I heard that bamma!” Pair all that together and she could run for President. I would vote for her. You know the budget will be balanced like a mug, cuz Deb ain’t taking no shorts on the 1st! #mahboo
She talks about some of her experiences growing up in Queens!
Was I lying?
My Fetch Club Franchise Players have always been rock solid; LaLa Anthony, Rocsi “pick-an-accent” Diaz and Miss Keri Behbeh! Now, in case you’re new around these here parts, we call anyone “Fetch” who is just annoying as the song “Happy” was the 9344th time you heard it, or someone whose presence, smile and the way they spell their name is just irritating at fock. Which is how Rocsi got drafted. Now, there are more members out there; some are secret like the Il-loo-mi-nati and sometimes they switch out, sort of like a Fantasy Football League for Lames, but my franchise players have always remained in tact. Their doing, not mine. Until now. Rosci is acting like she wants to be traded. She’s apparently done breaking up ministerial marriages in Turks & Kinkos and more importantly far from her brief judgment lapse for dealing with Donkey! Ms. Raquel is keeping her head down, hosting shyt and sounding halfway decent unlike Karrythecoachbag Tran’s stint hosting the EBT Awards’ Red Carpet pre-show. But that’s another story. Roc is seeming a wee less desperado now that those ET checks are coming in. I see you boo! I might need a new Safety soon – *eyes Kae*
,<— the “Try Too Hard” awards goes to…
Despite what you think the reason this Kardashian is sitting in our Brew’s Cornball Corner has nothing to do with her sharing DNA with THE most vapid and annoying family in both Americas. She’s there because of that scuzzy scrotum head she calls her man, French Montana. The rapper’s wife, YES WIFE, Deen Kharbouch, the one he “Kevin Harted”, says French is ALLEGEDLY a deadbeat daddy who hasn’t seen their son in MONTHS. Maybe her claim is not 100% accurate, because there are two sides to every story, but I’m still giving the side eye because this isn’t the first time Khloe has dealt with a man who had kids. Actually, didn’t your HUSBAND Lamar Odom’s ex say you were not for the chulrren like that? I cannot respect any woman who thinks it’s okay to accept a Jeep Wrangler and other trinkets from a man who doesn’t see his offspring or even have a 529 plan for them. As his ‘rib’, you should be encouraging all that, feel me? So stew in the corner and figure out how does one’s life take them down the road to the land of fake Moroccan Bammas?
French Montana’s wife sub tweets:
What say you, Brewchies?
Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted in brew bits | Posted on 12-05-2014
I’ve noticed something on my Book of Faces feed that both perplexes and intrigues me at the same time; most of my ‘friends’ who constantly abuse the caps lock key are uh, how do you say, are a bit, uh, um,
GHETTO SPECIAL! They’re always screaming while pointing out various injustices by their exes, the postal carrier or the “man” at the likka store. They announce their weekend plans or quote a King James bible verse before announcing their WEEKEND PLANS IN ALL CAPS before the obligatory –> #TURNDOWNFORWHAT?. THEY’RE. ALWAYS. HOLLERIN’! I so need the dude who wrote Freakonomics to do some sort of freaky research to prove what I am seeing.
Just me? OK, FINE BUT ALL CAPS LOCK OFFENDERS ARE FOREVER CHILLING IN THE ‘HIDE’ SECTION WITH THE SHARENTERS!