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Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss
Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss

Brew Bits: Kimye’s Vogue Issue Selling Like Hotcakes


Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in brew bits, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Vogue Magazine | Posted on 10-04-2014


Ha ha, suckers! Anna Wintour’s plan to line the pockets of Condé Nast while giving a solid middle finger to the fashion world seems to be working. Despite threats by committed Vogue readers and the fashion elite to cancel memberships, it looks like the Kim Kardashian – Kanye West April 2014 cover is selling like sex tape downloads hotcakes. “Sources” predict the issue is on track to sell 300,000-400,000 copies. That would put it among the top-selling issues that featured Beyonce and First Lady Michelle Obama, respectively. Bey’s 2013 cover sold 355,000 copies. FLOTUS’ issue in April 2013 sold just under 300,000. Vogue won’t say how many issues were sold. But, I’m sure Pimp Momager Jenner is keeping count in her basement and lining Nori’s crib with them.

Want more Witches’ Brew?


Brew Bits: Kelly’s Big Chop


Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted in brew bits, Kelly Rowland | Posted on 04-04-2014


I was reading an excerpt from Kelly Rowland’s interview with People magazine where she claims her recent ‘big chop’ was unplanned and occurred after a mishap with an at home dye kit.

Peep it:

“I wanted to experiment and color my own hair. That was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I thought it was semi-permanent color. It was permanent color… My hair had grown down to like right where my shoulder hits, it was nice and healthy and thick. I went and reached for the back of my hair and it was all in my hand! So I went to my stylist the next day and said, ‘So, my hair’s broken off, I need you to fix it.’ He was like, ‘How did this happen?’ and then cut all my hair off and it just turned out really cute. I actually used Beyoncé’s hairstylist, Neal [Farinah]. Neal cut my hair and I love it.”

One big sideye at the ‘hair down her back’ comment and add another on top to the ‘I thought it was semi-permanent’ line. So what you’re saying is #PoorMichelle wasn’t keeping all your products organized? I kid, I kid! Kelly is harmless enough, but I need for these stars to just say what it is… or don’t comment at all. How about “these weaves have done me Matthew Knowles contract dirty”? Or, “this brittle bird’s nest on my head is NOT a survivor”? “I cannot cater to you my ends”? Or, “my hairline was screaming, ‘No, No, No, No, No’”?


What’s Brewing?


Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in brew bits, brewshyt, IDV8 Radio, What's Brewing | Posted on 31-03-2014


Kenya Moore may need one of Porsha Williams’ weaves after their “fight,” plus Benzino talks getting shot. Those stories and more in today’s What’s Brewing report for iDV8 Radio.

Alternate link

Don’t forget to check out our fellow bloggers under the Brewshyt tab…there’s always good stuff there too!

Want more Witches’ Brew?


Pharrell Williams: A Kinder Gentler Yeezy


Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in brew bits | Posted on 26-03-2014

Pharrell-Williams-fragrance-092013Something dawned on me as I read this Pharrell interview in GQ.  In order be a success,  I mean a real game changing innovative  success. You kind of  have to be arrogant and confident, which on paper  can read like you’re kind of a dick.  This interview makes  Pharrell Williams seem kind of  douchey… like a gentle organic douche. No where near the shades of the  vagdestroying essence of Yeezy’s Breeze.  But definately somoene who knows his wheelhouse, and isn’t apologetic.  I kinda like it.  The highlight reel:

On why he knows fashion better than you do (he did the work and has the answers, Sway):

The Arby’s jokes or the park ranger jokes or whatever—are they funny to you?   They said the same things to me fifteen years ago about trucker hats. Remember: trucker hats at a moment in time when people were wearing throwback jerseys. I was aware of it.

So not that funny?   I mean, it just goes with the territory. Anything different, people are going to look at and go, “Ha ha ha ha, what is that??” Then, after a while, they do a little bit of research; they realize it’s Vivienne Westwood, an ode to her boyfriend at the time; they had a store together called World’s End. The guy who went on to sign the Sex Pistols, Malcolm McLaren.

On you sensitive black broads:

There were people who criticized you for not including more black women on the cover of G I R L. How did you feel about that? Do you want me to be honest with you?

Yeah.   It’s insecurity. If you love who you are—and I’m not saying that there’s not a plight out there for people who have different skin colors, because Mexicans go through just as much discrimination, if not more discrimination, than black people do in this country. Right? That’s why I wrote “Marilyn Monroe,” man: That which makes you different is what makes you special. You don’t gotta be waif, white, and thin to be beautiful. You can be anything that you want to be, and what I chose to do is put my friends on the cover. The girl that was closest next to me is black, but they didn’t know that, so they jumped the gun. And it wasn’t all black women. There were a lot of black women that were really angry at some of those girls, but some of those girls are the ones that instantly get mad when they don’t see somebody that’s dark. And it’s like: “Yo, you don’t need nobody to represent you. You represent you. You represent the best version of who you could be. You go out there and change the world.”

On designing to connect with the PERSON…

I opened the New York Times last weekend and there was a $16,500 bike in there that you designed. $16,500, because it was wrapped in leather, yeah.

Who is that for?   Someone who can afford it—not for the world. But I have affordable products. You have to connect with people.

But that bike isn’t connecting with people.   No. It’ll connect with one person.

Read the entire thing HERE, including his pic for the next Prez.  Spoiler Alert: She has a vagicat!

Listening to “Happy” 3483048308 times has put me in a disport.  So, I’ll leave this N.E.R.D. classic gem, right chere:




Stuff on a Witch’s Mind: From The Desk of Elphie


Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in brew bits | Posted on 26-03-2014

White people are winning this week!  With Mr. Mariah Carey showing his arse.  The righteous indignation is skrong, on these internets.  But let’s never forget the week’s real winner!

In possibly the most gag worthy “announcement” (via her website that has now apparently imploded) The Goop Sheself declares this “uncoupling”.

It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.

Love, Gwyneth & Chris

Now, I am a kind and benevolent Witch…but… RUN RUN CHRIS MARTIN AND NEVAHHH LOOK BACK! You take your lanky arse to the pub, get yourself a FEW pints…some fish and chips..or haggis or a plate of bilbo baggins…or bucket of spotted dick …whatever you Brits eat..and LIVE IT UP!  No more theraputic blod clots! No more glueten free organic free trade air! No more ‘Honey! Polish my Oscar!”  No more “Listen to me siiiinnnggg!”  No more “Look honey, I made steamed rocks for dinner!” YOU SIR ARE THE LUCKIEST MAN ON EARF! Yes. Earf.


No more of…whatever this is.


In the words of your Best Black Friends’, Black Baby…