I sweat. Seriously. Not the cute “oh, she’s perspiring like a lady” kind of sweat. Nope. More like the Whitney Houston on stage sweating (may she RIP). It’s not an everyday thing – that would be a health issue, I’m sure. But when I get overheated, my body revolts. I’ve tried all kinds of deodorants and crystals and finally settled on Secret’s Clinical formula with okay success. It does the job but I know something called “clinical” cannot be pure, natural and of the Earf. Last weekend, I found something that is actually pure and natural and of the Earth while perusing the goods at Baltimore’s Oyin Handmade (@oyinhandmade) shop. They’re widely known for their hair products but Oyin makes some great body stuff, too. Their natural deodorant is called “Funk Butter” and it works! It’s made with baking soda, cornstarch, shea butter, fancy oils, clay and some other good smelling stuff (or you can get it unscented). You just take a pea-sized amount and smooth it on your pits and #BAM! I’m not sweating and I smell like a sexy piña colada. At $5 for a 2 oz. jar it’s a better deal than the $8+ I’m paying for Secret. You can even use it between your toes if you have funky problems down there. It’s great for the under-boob area too if you get the sweats there (and don’t act like you don’t).

Handle your funk here.

UPDATE: As much as I loved this Funk Butter, sadly, I had to give it a rest after about a month of use. The baking soda ingredient irritated the heck out of my pits. I’m going back to Secret for a couple of weeks and then I’ll try the Funk Butter again.

UPDATE #2: I read on a few sites that adding coconut oil to the Funk Butter may help diminish the baking soda irritation. I added 10 drops and BAM!, I’m back in business. I took a month off, used the Secret for awhile and came back to Funk Butter. It’s working great. Whenever I feel any irritation, I jump back to Secret for a few days. So, it’s not a perfect fix but it’s good enough for now. I plan to try the unscented Funk Butter the next time I visit Oyin, just to see if that makes a difference.

This is an honest review of a product I purchased. I was NOT paid for this review.

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Heyyyy there! This is  your year hunh? Gonna dedicate yourself to this fitness thang in the 2013.  Aiight, I hear that. But you know there’s some rules to this gym sh!t, son. If somehow you have avoided a gym since Clinton was getting his cigar love on, lemme give you some tips.

• First and foremost: don’t overreach. If you have been doing nothing but pull-ups of a fork to your mouth for DECADES, don’t think signing up for an advanced fitness class is the best thing for you. Over doing it can lead to you being less motivated because you won’t be able to do keep up or worse,  injury. Injury leads to depression, depression leads to more eating. You know the rest. Try classes that are fun. Fun is what will keep you motivated, right now. You’re not going to be an overnight athlete, so think baby steps. Rump shake now, run triathlons later.  And for the love of White Jesus, if you find yourself in a fitness class that is obviously over your head, walk out. Seriously, be a quitter.  I cannot stare at  you via my peripheral for 60 minutes wondering if I’m going to have to use my mad CPR Skillz and how I can avoid the mouth to mouth portion of saving your life. That’s distracting to ME. It’s a funky sad cycle.

 

•   Speaking of funky…heyyy Human Funk-box! I know it may seem to be redundant to wash your arse before you work out but TRUST and believe it is the kindest thing you can do to the other citizens of the gym. This includes washing your nasty gym clothes. NO, you cannot recycle those gym shorts/shirt/top/thong from your last workout. Besides Bringing the Funk, you’re gonna give yourself a staph infection or at least a really gross rash.

 

• Please leave the sensual colognes and body sprays at home. If I wanted to smell fake scrawberries and peaches from Victoria’s Secretion, I’d go to the strip club. At least on ladies night I can get some free cocktails and a buffet.

 

• After your workout will you for the love of GAWD wipe down the equipment you just rained down on? I do not want to touch your puddles of grossness.

 

• In the locker room how bout you put a towel down on the bench before you sit your nasty bare arse on it? I do not want your secretions creeping up on me, while I’m trying to tie my shoes all slooooooowwww like in passive aggressive avoidance of my inevitable workout. If I wanted to come in contact with lady crotch, I’d wait for Ellen Thursday and holla at one of my many girl crushes.

 

• Wear a supportive sports bra. Yes they are pricey. Support your damn tittyballs, you only have 2!  And NO you cannot just work out with your regular bra. I mean you would think this would be a no-brainer, but the other day I was in a class and I swear this chicks boob flew out of her regular cheap bra. Where they do that at? NO BUENO!

 

• Hey, LAZY—yea you. Kick it up a notch BooBoo, no one has time for you to worry about sweating out your  T-Boz “What About Your Friends” era hairdo. Stop that slow funeral procession treadmill walk. You’re occupying a machine that someone who’s got the Eye of the Tiger can be using. I know you think that’s cute. It’s not. MOVE BISH!

 

• Yo, Lady War-Paint. Can you splain to me how you think it’s healthy to workout out with a full face of Fashion Fair’s finest that you got in bulk off of eBay? Like what is the thought pattern of someone who puts makeup on, to SWEAT? I’m genuinely curious.

 

• A word of fashion advice,  these are a NO:

  

  

  
  

  

  

  
  
  

Now  let’s get ‘er done!  

The good news is you’ll be the hell out of my way and back on your sofa  in the next few weeks, anyway! #brightside!

 

I don’t thin

I don’t think it comes as a surprise to anyone that I’m a lady that enjoys her sessy times. I am also single, so I date and occasionally engage in grown-up activities, safely. The fact still remains however that safe or not, ya gotta be selective and downright snooty about who gets your vagicookie. Like most women, I am a sucker for a cutie patootie, especially a well dressed one, but wise enough to know that the way a man looks tells you nothing of him, just as my ‘look’ says nothing of who I am. But imagine the kind of creep, sleaze, dirtbag you gotta be to use your pastorship to not only bag hunnies in your church, but to also knowingly spread HIV. Well, married Pastor Craig Lamar Davis is that guy. Two women from his congregation at the Full Gospel Baptist Church in Atlanta have filed official charges against him, both have contracted HIV from him.

Now I am not here to preach what we’ve all heard a billion times. “Wrap it up”, “No glove, no love” and so on and so on. In our logical minds we know that without protection, coitus is not and should not be happening, yet some of us are still going by the way a man looks or going by what a man is. When it comes to our health and our bodies… TRUST NO ONE! period, end of story. The truth of the matter is this could have happened to any of us, especially the single, successful, attractive woman looking to satiate her spirituality,this kind of woman is easily susceptible to caving into her vulnerabilities and reluctantly entertaining the whisper of sweet nothings from a supposed man of God. God must hold his head in shame at the things we do in his name, this situation is vomit inducing.

Ronita McAfee, who is one of Lamar’s victims, actually met him on facebook (as I say all the time, Facebook is the devil!), began a sexual relationship with him and was later contacted by one of his ex-girlfriends who dropped the bomb to Ronita exposing Lamar’s secrets and lies. Sadly, McAfee and another woman who decided to come forward are both HIV positive. According to authorities, there are likely quite a few additional victims who have yet to come forward. The Pastor was arrested at a local Wendy’s and was later bailed out by his wife *blank stare*

Decide today that there will be no more slip-ups, no more “ ok just this one time”, no more “c‘mon I’m just gonna put the tip in”….. NO MORE!!! I know married couples who use protection, it’s just that real out here. Mostly, be real with yourself, if you know your significant other has a wandering eye and a history/problem with truth telling in general, don’t put your life in their hands, ever!  If you are with a man who lies to you about going to Walmart, never sleep with him without protection, NEVER NEVER NEVER. Today is not the day to get into why you would even be with this kinda man, today I just want ya’ll to live, seriously….. we say it all the time, but ladies, BREW CARES.

Fine, corny, shiny, goofy, nerdy, tall, short, smart, dumb, poor, cashin out, in the studio, doctor, attorney, stupid or Stedman Graham…… no visible descriptor can reveal disease or mental illness. Take your time, make em work to get your stuff and never be afraid to ask outright about health issues/status…. if you can lay with a man, you are well within your rights to ask anything you want…….

 

k it comes as a surprise to anyone that I’m a lady that enjoys her sessy times. I am also single, so I date and occasionally engage in grown-up activities, safely. The fact still remains

So I’m a pretty sturdy girl, not necessarily a certified USDA fluff-en-heimer but pretty damn sturdy, but just because ‘Vogue’ magazine won’t be banging my door down anytime soon to do a cover does not mean that I don’t thoroughly enjoy gettin my thickums sweat on. I mean I goes hard! I figure it’s 45 mins to an hour outta my day so I mine as well go ape shit with it. I make sure I have about 20 songs worth of gangsta rap on my ipod and I get it poppin, in other words… chunkles don’t play!

So in saying that, it truly disturbs me what I see when I go to the gym. Ladies with multi-guts strolling ever so gingerly on the treadmill with their homie by their side as they catch each other up on the days’ events, fellas with Pheadra Parks donkey booties taking slow strolls around all the equipment but not using any of it because the main thing they are there for is to troll for bishes….. sir at quick glance you look like a Lane Bryant model, is you serious???

Now this is not me bashing the swole folk, I’m down with them so I’m not going there, alls I’m saying is cut the bullchit and make it happen! Everybody ain’t trying to be a size 6 but everyone shoud be trying to be healthy and working up a good, focused sweat is good for everybody no matter what size you are. 

I’m always getting people coming up to me telling me how watching me go at it so hard really gets them going….. THEN GO! stop watching and GO!

We only get one life, you mine as well feel good about yourself while you’re navigating through it.

 

The deaths of Whitney Houston and Don Cornelius have left many of us ready to speed into March and get this dreadful Black History Month over with already. After the initial shock and mourning, I started thinking about what can we really learn from the demise of these two great people. We Witches have reflected, fellow blogger Brooke Dean did a great piece today on Whitney’s life and dozens of Brewchies left their memories of Whitney on our Facebook wall all weekend. Our community will be grieving these losses for a long time. But, still, these deaths were weighing heavily on my heart, so I continued to look for the lesson (that’s sorta my thing, I guess).
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A lengthy flight may have played a role in Heavy D’s death. Medical reports show Heavy died of a “natural” cause: a pulmonary embolism caused by deep leg vein thrombosis. A pulmonary embolism is basically a major blockage caused by a blood clot. Heavy died on November 8th. He was 44 years old. In October, Heavy was on a long flight from Europe to LA. He had been overseas to perform at a Michael Jackson tribute show in Wales. The blood clot formed in his legs but, Heav also suffered from heart disease which may have played a role as well. No one knows for sure if the flight is what killed him, but this is a sad lesson that you’ve got to get up, walk around and stretch as much as you can on a long flight.

#RIPHeavyD

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In the continuing quest to get my life right, I thought I’d try a juice fast, a cleansing out of my inner-workings… if you will. I know people do the Master Cleanse and other fasts all the time for various reasons. But, well… I enjoy eating. It’s an art, really. And I’m not one for deprivation. But, in the interest of trying something new and issuing a personal challenge to myself, I went online and bought a one-day supply of the BluePrintCleanse. It’s a fancy, pricey juice cleanse that delivers locally in New York, or you can have it shipped via FedEx. Since I don’t live in NYC, a one-day supply set me back $85 (including shipping). I wanted to do a full three days on the cleanse but -on the real- that stuff is expensive. So, until we start selling more t-shirts (#shamelessplug), I figured I’d just dip my toe into the cheaper one-day “Renovation” cleanse which consisted of six juices to consume throughout the day, at your own pace.
Taste The Brew for my diary

The Food Network  used to have shows that made the average person want to cook a homemade meal, probably the best thing you can do for your wallet and your health.  Even if the hosts were hot messes the food actually made you WANT to make it.  If  I could deal with the big boobied sensually licking her fingers, Brit Nigela Lawson or even the uber annoying hyper perky Rachel ‘Yummo’ Ray, it was a  channel where I could say “Ooh I can make that!” and impress whatever dude who’s skins I was tapping at the moment (don’t judge me).  Plus, I really just enjoy the whole process of cooking.   It was a win all around. 

It seems that the quality of shows has declined drastically.  The fact that the smarmy Guy Fieri, gets basically an entire afternoon of programming dedicated to him is mind boggling. Yet, I find myself transfixed.  From his clammy fried cheeto colored skin to that horrible nuclear reactor coif, and slight dooshy demeanor, I’m stunned into leaving the channel right where it is. 

Sometimes some of his restaurant visits do look quite yummy, there was  once a grilled seafood joint in Cali somewhere that made me wanna  Google the hell outta them, and even a bar that served really upscale ‘bar food’….. but then there is THIS.  This shit is disgusting. We wonder why we’re seizing out on private airplanes and stroking out at the mall?

Jesus be a triple bypass.

 

Seriously dude?

 

TLC member, T-Boz, recently opened up to CNN’s Dr. Sanjay Gupta about her decades long health struggles. You certainly wouldn’t know by looking at her or watching her on stage, but she’s suffered the effects of Sickle Cell anemia since childhood. In recent years, T-Boz (Tionne Watkins) also developed a brain tumor that could have ended her career.
Taste The Brew for the video

Zoinks! If you love green tea as much as me, better stock up because we could be in the midst of a shortage soon. Supplies in Japan have reportedly been tainted with small amounts of radiation. This is causing farmers there to scratch their heads because they are hundreds of miles away from the nuclear reactor that failed following the March earthquake and tsumani. The Japanese government has already banned green tea leaves in three districts from being exported and is considering more.  This bad, real bad, Michael Jackson!  

Source

That phone that houses your little black book and work contacts could be setting up your brain for some technical difficulties down the road.

It’s long been speculated that prolonged cell phone use could cause cancer down the road, now the World Health Organization says the use of a cell phone IS a possible carcinogen, like lead and engine exhaust (you wouldn’t willingly stick either of those in your ear though). So what can you do to avoid cell phone radiation build-up? Use your hands-free device (especially when you have a weak signal)! But, please, please, please for the love of White Jesus, do not walk around using just the speakerphone. I hear enough of your random conversations about what’s on sale at the grocery store.

For more on cell phones and cancer… here’s CNN:

Guard your domes, people.

Source
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If Beyonce tells you to do something, you’d better drop down low and hit the flo’ with it or pat your weave with the quickness because Queen Carter don’t play. She’s hoping her catchy jingles will help kids get in better shape. Beyonce joined forces with First Lady Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move!” campaign to fight childhood obesity. She re-wrote the song “Get Me Bodied” (well, somebody re-wrote it…I dunno) and her choreographer put together new steps for kids to get moving!
Taste The Brew to watch