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“Got cho henny chillin on ice”……

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Posted by Piper from the Brew | Posted in Brew Love N' Stuff | Posted on 19-08-2013

tumblr_mqmsa3mvr01qfxbxmo1_500So the title of this post was stolen from the prolific lyricist of mighty buttocks, K. Michelle and aligns with the subject matter of today’s post. So I don’t have an official ‘steady” boo as the kids say but as I remain a hopeful chump, I don’t imagine that status remaining as such for much longer. So with that being said, it got me to thinking about this ‘catering to your man’ thing. Got me to thinking about my past relationships and about the exact characteristics of the man that would make one want to purchase the black man’s kool-aid (henny) and have it ‘chillin on ice’ for him. Ya know, like hardcore cater to him, what kinda man would a man have to be to engage the ‘cater’ in me? I really don’t know, like I know that when I feel love feelings for someone I naturally wanna be kind to them… but ‘cater’? Cater implies a whole different level of interaction that I’m not sure you dish out to any and everyone just cause. But what does the man who deserves to be catered to do different from the dude who simply deserves a chest bump and a kiss good night?

Is it the way he makes you feel? The way he moves the stars and the moon to ensure your happiness? The sessy times? The sexy way in which he pays your bills? The exotic trips for no reason? The way he cares about his oral hygiene and/or his hygiene in general? The way he makes sure he doesn’t develop D cup titties during the course of your relationship?  I don’t know, as I observe those around me who are in committed relationships or married, I see a lot of catering for catering sake. I say this because I unfortunately get a lot of the stories of unhappiness relayed to me, I guess cause I’m the single girl and maybe there’s some sort of feeling that I may have an Iyanla Vanzant perspective to drop. I usually don’t but as a friend I listen and what I primarily hear are stories of unhappy women who in spite of that unhappiness, have a burning desire to cater…… Now I’m pondering all of this as someone who believes in the catering thing, I always have but I also know that the man has to be deserving. I once knew a girl, a very very very long time ago that had a man that would do things like call her while we were at work and ask for money for all kinds of bs……. $20.00 for a haircut….. $30.00 for some special edition, poontang flavored blunts…… $50.00 cause he owed his man Ced some money (every guy has a flunky friend named Ced) I mean just on and on and on with the ridiculous monetary requests. But here’s the thing, she would bish and bish and bish but each and every time she would give it to him, and one day when  my curiosity just couldn’t take it anymore I asked her “why do you keep doing what he asks if it makes you feel like this???” and her response: “because I know if I don’t give it to him, he’ll ask another girl who will and I can’t stand the thought of him going to someone else for something that I should be doing for him”……..

So are women catering with reckless abandon just cause? I know we are nurturing by instinct but I think we need to set some parameters with this thing. Again, cater If you must, but don’t be no chump! Get your cater on but be selective, owning a peen does not auto-activate the ‘cater’ button. I for one can’t wait to cater cause I know after waiting this long to get the love thing right, this dude will be super-cater-fragilisticexpialidopeness!!!!

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What I’m learning about letting go……

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Posted by Piper from the Brew | Posted in Brew Love N' Stuff | Posted on 06-08-2013

tumblr_mnpth6aGEe1qibqmvo1_500

Ya girl Pipes has been rather contemplative of late. I get in this kind of mood sporadically throughout the year where I feel the need to chop and screw every aspect of my life…. Love life, career life, friendship life, etc. Some recent experiences as it relates to the love portion of my life find me picking apart what it really means to ‘let go’. “Girl, just let that ish go!” seems to be the go to advice of friends most times but I’m starting to realize that it is super hard advice to follow because letting go means something different to everyone. Like, as I continue on my weight loss journey (73lbs down so far) I know I have to let go of midnight burgers, chips with dip and the like, that’s easy, so I get that, but letting go when it comes to men and matters of the heart is a much more complicated matter.  What is it about knowing the treatment you receive from a certain individual is wrong yet you press on in the love battle with them? I’m good for telling my girls to walk away from anything that feels painful, is too troublesome and too much work. Romantic relationships in my opinion are rather simple but we tell ourselves otherwise when we are attempting to justify the bullshit we let someone take us through. It ain’t hard…. Someone is not nice to you, dead them! Period! So what’s my problem? Am I that broad that claims she wants love when all I really want is a combative, difficult relationship with a person who does the bare minimum when it comes to showing that he cares for me? I am more agitated than at peace, more angry than happy, more confused than confident that this person is down for me…… this surely sounds like a formula for letting go. Yet, still I rise……

Today I am deciding to let go in more ways than one, but I’m realizing it’s not just the simple act of letting go of an individual who isn’t right for you, what I really need to let go of is the notion that my simple and basic requirements to be treated with kindness, thoughtfulness and care are too exotic and that I have to take what I get if I want a partner. I have to let go of the notion that I don’t deserve to be just plain ole happy, whether alone or with someone, I have to truly “let go and let God” as they say in the hood. Today I encourage everyone to consider the things, people and situations you need to ‘let go’ of and get on it….. STAT!

 

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Brew Love & Stuff: Brandy’s Engaged

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in brandy, Brew Love N' Stuff | Posted on 27-12-2012

Brandy engagedBrandy’s boo put a ring on it. The singer is engaged to music executive Ryan Press. If you’ve followed her career in the last few years, you know she’s publicly expressed a desire to find the right man and get married. Brandy’s rep tells Us Weekly that Ryan and Brandy are “thrilled and happy” and that Brandy “feels this is so right.” Brandy has said that Ryan has restored her hope in love. This will be the first marriage for Brandy who had a failed two year spiritual union back in the day with Robert Smith. Brandy is mom to 10 year old daughter, Sy’rai. I’m happy that Brandy appears to finally be coming into her own and being herself, not what she thinks the public wants.

No word yet on any wedding plans. Congrats to the lovely couple!

Image via Ethan Miller/Getty
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Brew Love ‘N Stuff: Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel Marry

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Brew Love N' Stuff, Jessica Biel, justin timberlake | Posted on 19-10-2012

‘Deys married nah!

After 5 years of dating, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel got hitched in Italy! They confirmed it today in a super short comment to PEOPLE.

“It’s great to be married, the ceremony was beautiful and it was so special to be surrounded by our family and friends.”

Among the guests: Timbaland, “Dick in a Box” crooner Andy Samberg and former *NSYNC bandmate, Chris Kirkpatrick. What…Fatone and Bass couldn’t get an invite? What’s JC Chasez doing? He could have dropped his night of Netflix plans and flown to Italy, Justin!!!?

Next week’s PEOPLE will include wedding deets and photos.

Congrats to them.

Image via Erik Pendzich/Rex USA
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Love and Head Butts: Chad tatts Eve’s likeness on his leg……

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Posted by Piper from the Brew | Posted in Brew Love N' Stuff | Posted on 04-09-2012

*Sigh* Nothing says “I’m sorry for bloodying your forehead” like a portrait forgiveness tatt on one’s leg…. I mean, eh! why not?! Those legs are on a strong, solid vacay right now anyways. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one that knows in the very near future, these two will be knocking louboutin’s once again…. Godspeed!

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