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Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss

Brew Bits: Kim K’s Million Man March Continues….

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted in Brew Love N' Stuff, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian | Posted on 06-04-2012

If global warning isn’t enough sign of our impending doom, this definitely is. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are supposedly an item.  The two were spotted at several spots in NYC on the same day Yezzy droped his new joint, “Theraflu” where we waxes poetic for Kim while dissing her ex-Neanderthal Kris Humphries. Either this is going to be a match made in heaven or these heathens will self-destruct, self-combust or smoother each other with their egos. For the love of every holy Kanye please go back to this girl:

What’s your call? Publicity stunt or real love?

 

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Brew Love ‘n Stuff Gone Awry: LaTasha’s Workshoppe

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Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in brew bits, Brew Love N' Stuff | Posted on 20-03-2012

Groomrows? It never had a shot.

 

This is nutty… TMZ reports:

The estranged wife of NBA legend Allen Iverson has done a complete 180 — after first saying their divorce had nothing to do with other women … she’s now filed court documents asking Iverson to turn over the names of any girls he slept with while they were married.

Back in June 2011, Tawanna Iverson told TMZ her split from Allen had “nothing to do with another woman.”

But Tawanna has changed her tune and earlier this month filed documents requesting A.I. “give the name and telephone number of every person other than your spouse whom you have had sexual relations and/or intimate physical contact from the date of the marriage to the date of trial.”

It’s unclear why Tawanna is requesting the list … but it’s most likely a power play to make Iverson look bad … in an effort to push a favorable settlement as quickly as possible.

 

First of all making an NBA player ‘Look Bad’ for having tons of ladies? You’ll have to do a WHOLE lot more than some normal consensual ho-slanging.   Hell the onliest reason they cared so much about Tiger Woods’ indiscretions was he dare to cheat on “Nannying’s Finest Come Up” I hate to say it but erm, Tawanna, no one is gonna care.

Not to mention you think this man KNOWS who he defiled your marriage vows with much less has a current PHONE NUMBER for them?  Aww…bless your heart…

That list is going to look pretty much like this:

Ladies I Banged,  2001-date

-The one who liked her finger in her booty, in Dallas

-The one who had the giant mole, in Detroit

-The one who liked the finger in her booty, in Miami

-LaTasha and Becky (it was my birthday)

-The one who liked me to yell ‘HE SHOOTS! HE SCORES!!!’

-Tawanna’s Hairdresser

-LaTasha, who likes the finger in her booty

Girl…good luck with that.

I bet you could find at least 20 names in these tats...just like the map in Prison Break

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Brew Love N’ Stuff: Halle Berry Is Getting Married…Again

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Brew Love N' Stuff, halle berry | Posted on 11-03-2012

Once. Twice. Three times a wife.

Halle Berry’s new boo, actor Olivier Martinez, finally confirmed that they are engaged. The French actor made the announcement during the opening of his Miami restaurant. When a reporter asked about the engagement, Martinez said “Yes, of course it’s true.” Martinez gave Halle an emerald and yellow gold ring in December. This will be the third marriage for Halle who famously said she would never marry again. Berry was married to baseball player David Justice and singer Eric Benet. She has a daughter (and, by all accounts, a rocky relationship too) with ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry. Maybe the third time will be the charm? Good luck to them!

Image via David Livingston/Getty Images
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Brew Bits: Engaged & Hitched!

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Aretha Franklin, brew bits, Brew Love N' Stuff, Johnny Weir, lebron james, Savannah Brinson | Posted on 02-01-2012

Photo: Gary Miller/FilmMagic

It wouldn’t be a new year without news of celebs solidifying their love with their boos. Over the holiday, LeBron James popped the question to his longtime lady love/mother of his kids/sidekick, Savannah Brinson. LeBron said this about the engagement:

My girl, she’s really excited. She would love to answer more questions about it than me. But she’s happy, my family’s happy and that’s what it’s all about. . . It should be a surprise. For any woman, any time something like that happens, she was surprised. It was great that all the friends and family were there to bring in a new year. Even my kids were happy about it, so that’s good. … I feel good. I feel good. It’s a good point in my life right now.

April 1987

Aretha Franklin also announced that she’s getting married for the third time. She’s engaged to her lonnnnnnggggggtime beau, William “Willie” Wilkerson. And relax, the 69 year old Queen of Soul says this isn’t a shotgun wedding, she’s not pregnant. Yes, she actually said that. She hopes to have a summer wedding and possibly wear a Donna Karan, Valentino or Vera Wang dress with teeny spaghetti straps.

 
 

 

 

 

Image via Twitter

And, lastly, my favorite swan on ice, Johnny Weir married his lawyer boyfriend Victor Voronov on New Year’s eve. They plan to have a more formal wedding in the summer.

Congrats to all the couples!

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Stop The Madness! Mr. Wrong is NOT Mr. Right!

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Posted by Piper from the Brew | Posted in Brew Love N' Stuff | Posted on 16-11-2011

Me and Mr Wrong get along so good (so good)
Even though he breaks my heart so bad (so bad)
We got a special thing going on
Me and Mr Wrong (mister wrong)
Even if I try, no, I never could
Give him up cause his loves like that
Aint no way that I’m moving on
I love my Mr Wrong

 

I straight dig Murry J’s new song Mr. Wrong and on my way to work I really listened to the lyrics, in particular the chorus above. It got me to thinking that this lyric is precisely what gets the ladies in situations not designed for them. We meet someone and decide, “he will be mine!” so you set out to do whatever you gotta do to make that happen never once stopping to realize that the person for you wouldn’t require you to strategize, it all just kinda falls into place.

“But but but Piper, Mr. Wrong is so exciting” Yeah yeah yeah, I know but boo Mr. Wrong don’t like you, stay focused! Mr. Wrong sends you text messages all day but never ever ever feels like he needs to hear your voice. Mr. Wrong never invites you anywhere, to do anything unless it involves you being naked. Mr. Wrong simply doesn’t extend himself to you in any way that makes you feel happy and appreciated. He’s practically screaming ” I DO NOT LIKE YOU LIKE THAT!!!”  but what do we do? We keep pressing on, convincing ourselves that surely we are reading him wrong. He’s just shy, or he got hurt in his last relationship blah blah blah, I mean wtf!  You are pretty, fun, and gosh darn it people like you! What is his problem? Honey we will never know the ansswer to that and as much as we hate hearing logic I can assure you that it’s not you at all, There is nothing wrong with you, he is just not on the same page as you. The getting to know someone process is supposed to feel good, make you feel giddy and stuff not make you second guess and doubt every effin thing around you. You should never be tripping over yourself to make anyone see you are the bomb dizzle, so never follow Murry’s advice (as much as I love that crotch grabbing honeydip from Money Earnin Mt. Vernon). Give him up, move on, read a book, learn how to cook, take up sewing, practice your dance moves (in the nude like I do) but most importantly leave this particular guy alone. ON TO THE NEXT!!! 

Once we stop glamourizing Mr. Wrong, we can start seeing all the Mr. Rights begging for a shot……  Life is so very short, don’t waste precious and limited time on anyone who doesn’t think you are the most awesomest person ever, Piper knows her stuff :) 

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