I have a really good girlfriend who is a one-upper; on shoes, on vacations, and especially on men. Ms. Overachiever also goes for the really hot dude, you know the one with all the wavy locks, the muskles but the mentality of a Neanderthal?
The cutie on duty that treats her like some Brewshyt in front of people. But hey, it’s okay, he has muskles! So in trying to learn from her mistakes and the fact that I’m more mature now and know that a cute, Wrestlemania built jokester most likely won’t fill my love tank, I try to date outside my comfort zone. You know, Michi O style back when BO was a hella corny but had potential.
So it’s hilarious to me when I introduce my potential love interests to this friend. She quickly does a body assessment then mentally writes him off. I can see her do it. I have ESPN. Later, when we’re alone I’ll ask her what she thought because after all I’m a woman and that’s what we do. She’ll shrug and say, “Girl, do what works for you. I just want you to be happy”. WTF? That just doesn’t sound right to me. So if I put a ice cream tat on my face, does that work for me? Or, if I have too much to drink and start grinding on a married politician at the grown up Freaknic that is CBC, does that work for me too? Yes, those examples are extreme, but I guess what I’m trying to say is “Do what works for you” might at well but a good ripe “You’re decision is wack. Or, you new bun bun is a non mother f@cking factor”. Do we want our friends to say everything that’s on their minds? Definitely not. But if you’re a good friend, we value your opinion. Adding, “Girl, do what works for you” to me is condescending like saying, “that’s a subpar choice, but if you’re okay with Igor then so am I.”
Don’t get me wrong. Keep all side-eyes and disses to yourself, but this phrase is a shield for shade…right up there with Bless Ur Heart! I “do want works best for me ” on a regular. In fact, that’s pretty much the goal in life, no? You brush you teeth because “that is what’s best for you”. You go to work because “that is what’s best for you”. So why wouldn’t your choice in lovers be “what’s best for you”? Now, if you have some intell on this gentleman, by all means speak up, but I really don’t need you to remind me to do what comes nature in life; doing me.