Thanks a lot (?) to a friend for alerting me that this show was nigh upon us…
(NOTE: a Witch realizes this aired last night..and totally didn’t watch!)
LA Divas. Not to be confused with R & B Divas: Momma I Just Wanna Sang or Slores and Slags of LA Looking for Love When Suicide Aint Enuff.
I don’t even need to read the project description to tell you all: “A random Collection of Black Women, some with actual acting credentials will be complaining. There may be some fighting. There will be a break down or two. And there WILL be horribly bad weave. It has been written.”
First of all, I would like to discuss the use of the word ‘Diva’ in itself. We’re really effing stretching here, TV One. Per Wikiepeida, every Phoenix Grad’s encyclopedia: A diva (//; Italian: [ˈdiːva]) is a celebrated female singer; a woman of outstanding talent in the world of opera, and by extension in theatre, cinema and popular music. The meaning of diva is closely related to that of prima donna.
Or if you Ask Beyoncé…Grad of Pelvic Thrust and Onsies.
Now with either fairly acceptable definition in mind, let’s look at the cast…. Shall we?
Lisa Wu: Official Birther of Spawns of Sweat BKA Former RHOA cast member that no one misses. Seriously, I’d rather watch Tight Teeth say “jewerrry” on endless loop, than hear about how the former reality persona (I shant not call her a star) is now a serious thespian. The Julliard trained cast of Orange Is the New Black, spits pon your direction. And may the ghost of Nene Leake’s hairhats past haunt you forever.
Paula Jai Parker: She’s been in the game fo’ years, with an impressive list of Blacktress classics under her belt. The Taraji P. Henson of the 90′s if you will. She should at least be playing someone’s auntie on a bad cable show. I feel bad if she’s struggling. But not bad enough to watch.
Golden Brooks: Poor kid…I don’t know if Maya was anyone’s favorite “Girlfriend”, but as part of an ensemble cast of a beloved Negroidian show, for 5011 years, she should at least be on a TV Land show, that no one watches. “Cold in Texas” or some ish.
Elise Neal: you seem like a nice enough lady. But, I always call you “Not Tamala Jones” and I don’t see myself stopping that any time soon. Well…and since Tamela is a gainfully employed regular on “Castle”, might I suggest many of these highly acceptable and wonderfully vague career alternatives to get you through these lean audition times: “consultant”, “real estate agent”, “mortgage broker” or “stylist’. Go diversify your bonds, boo.
Rounding out the cast.
The one. The only. Countess. Mugfugging. Vaughn. Diva. Sigh.
Did you watch? Will you bother?