So, my standoff with rachet tv (anything produced by That Dreadful Mona Scott) is holding strong. After I watched a woman in puke pink lipstick argue with The Tappahannock Tapper’s Twerpy Chromosome Challenged DJ, who fahvad her bebe, get rejected “ohhh on the family tip”, TO HER FACE, in front of a woman he prefers to be inside and thennnn thennnn present him with a substantial check for some bid-ness, a bit of my womananity (it’s a word now, shut up) died inside.
I had to step away. I am all for people embarrassing themselves (Steebie and Jose-line are a horrific delight, never change- never learn Engrish…never stop being skeevy. Seriously, you cartoonlike-creepers bring me swelly joyous!). When I feel such profound embarrassment for a complete stranger, though, it’s time for me to step off, gigantuar. I’m clearly too sensitive for this ish.
I have even cut off Bravo from my DVR must-sees. I’ve been using this new free time productively. I’ve been reading more books…and napping, working out, workin’ on my future and stuff. Ironically, this sounds like a prison sentence.
This brings me too my hangover rainy day fabulous find (Oh, I also been drankin’). Netflix’s original series “Orange Is The New Black”. The show, based on a memoir by Piper Kerman, about her 15 month sentence to a federal correctional facility after she dopily drug mule’d: ‘this one time, 10 years ago’, every time that is mentioned I imagine it’s delivered like “this one time, at band camp, I stuck a kilo up my–” .
Anywho’s your drug mule, this show is simply FAN-FOOKING-TASTIC. Though,the irony is not lost on me that it took a show about doing a bid, to portray women of all shapes, sizes and sensual orientations as complex HUMANS. Apparently, in order for the media to portray us as anything other than vapid hosebeasts we must lose the our freedom, literally?! Fine. This darn show is truly moving, touching, funny- I simply cannot gush enough.
I really hate spoilers and I think part of made this so fantastic for me, was going in blind. I will just say that “Orange Is The New Black” boasts a seriously wonderful talented set of actors. From newcomers like Samira Wiley (Juilliard Grad, BISHES!) , seasoned vets like Kate Mulgrew, Natsha Lyonne’s friggen hair, the ultra charming Taylor Schilling (I loved her in the short-lived “Mercy”, another Netflix find), “That 70′s Show” Laura Prepon…(and her truly bizarro brows) and a host of super talented ladies.
I dare you not to fall in love with Crazy Eyes.
It simply is UNPOSSIBLE (yep, another new word. Deal with it).
And if you are still all ‘Eww all ladies, eww’ behold Officer Pornstache.