Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted in Kanye West, Kim Kardashian | Posted on 25-05-2014
Something happened this weekend while you were sunnin’ and funnin’ and you may (or may not) care about it, but as the Rona Barrett of the ghetto, I reckon it’s my duty to report it. Or whatever.
took a bride this weekend got married again, for the _____th time (I’ve lost count). The Carters opted for a weekend in the Hamptons rather than jetting off to Italy and Kardashian brother, Rob, tearfully left before the wedding because (allegedly) he didn’t want to take pictures due to his weight gain. TMZ (they be knowin’) says Rob stormed off, calling the wedding of the century “superficial bullshit!” Well, wasn’t it?
Kim wore a gown designed by Kanye’s bestie, Riccardo Tisci of Givenchy. The same designer who set her up in that couch dress at The Met Gala last year.
In true Kanye fashion, he gave a 20 minute speech/rant/toast(?) to his new bride that included commentary about how he and Kim are treated by the media. His speech included these nuggets:
“They feel like it’s OK to put you on the tabloid covers to sell your image, to use you in an ‘SNL’ spoof.”
“We don’t negotiate. We’re not like that. We’re not stupid.”
“The Kardashians are an industry!”
“We are warriors! There is not one person at this table that has not had to defend us at some point or another.”
Talking to a table of guests, ‘Ye said:
“At this table…the combination of powers…can make the world a better place.”
Then he called them…
“…the most remarkable people of our time.”
Kanye also called his new wife the “ideal celebrity…the ideal art.” And, at this point, I would have been puking up the passed hors d’oeuvres. I mean, congrats to them.
I imagine the rest of the wedding went pretty much like this…