If you missed the MTV Video Music Awards, the Witches got you. Hopefully, you were watching the Democrats or doing something productive like cleaning your toenails. Here are the highlights of the show, which I watched on double speed on my DVR. Pretty sure I’m too old for this isht…
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It was déjà vu on the red carpet last night. A year after Beyonce used the MTV Video Music Awards to announce the second coming of sweet baby Jesus that she and Jay-Z were expecting a behbeh, the worst kept news in Hip Hop was confirmed in the same fashion. Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa announced they are with child at last night’s VMAs. Amber’s growing baby bump has been pretty obvious in recent weeks, but the engaged couple confirmed it with MTV’s Sway.

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I find these two completely adorable. Congrats to them…but what I really want to know is: where are the rest of Wiz’s pants?

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Beyonce confirmed her pregnancy on the MTV VMA’s “black” carpet tonight. No word on when the baby’s due or what she’s having but I’ll bet there are a ton of Tina Knowles maternity clothes on the production line right now. Somewhere, Kelly Rowland and her oiled up legs are pissed.

Seriously though, congrats to Bey & Jay.

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Now that MTV is devoting half its programming to following teenage mothers (the other half belongs to the self-proclaimed guidos), word is that young girls may be trying to get pregnant, just to get on MTV’s 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom. Both shows are hits and some of the teen mothers have gone on to become tabloid stars in their own right (not to mention, MTV pays about $60K to be on the show each season).

PopEater reports:

Insiders tell me young ladies are so eager to be on reality TV that they are actually getting pregnant just to score an audition. OK, not much of a surprise. Simply take a spin around the various Internet forums filled with young girls inquiring about what’s required to score a role.

“This is yet another example of the desperation of fame,” Matt Titus, a relationship expert from TheLoveConsultants.com, tells me. “The sad state of reality television has created a lowbrow vehicle for untainted train wreck personalities to display their private lives. Getting pregnant to be famous is like eating as many cockroaches as possible in a one minute period.”

So, rather than reality TV actually reflecting people’s real lives, these girls are creating new realities for themselves just to get on a TV show? Where’s an after school special when you need it?

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No outfit, performance or speech is safe when Witches’ Brew live blogs an event. Tonight’s MTV Video Music Awards are no different. Hop on around 9-ish as the show begins to join in on the fun (who needs football?). And we’re talking smack on Twitter as well (@lawitchesbrew). Tweet your funnies about the VMAs under the hashtag #BrewVMA and you might get a retweet.

And with Chelsea Handler as host…you know it’s going to be off the hook!

Let’s get it!