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Cornball Corner: Young Thug

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 11-25-2014

Rapper Young Thug, seen in Atlanta, Georgia December 2013.

#meepmeep

I only know about this bamma because my boo Tracee Ellis Ross tried to rap along with his song, “Lifestyle” on her Instagram page and it was hilarious! But this right here is NO laughing matter. A reporter asked Young Thug recently what he felt about the Mike Brown case and he had this to say:

I need subtitles, a translator and a midol. WTF? This is by far THE most ignant brewshyt I’ve seen in my entire life. Young Thug is candidate #234333 for the race draft! Better yet, blast him off to the moon!

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Brew Fairy Godmother: “Apollo Pass”

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 11-20-2014

In case you’re new ’round these here parts; we have a Fairy Godmother who blesses us with her thoughts from time to time. Today, she’s talkin’ bout an Apollo Pass, and no we don’t mean Mr. Asunder from #RHOA.
And, leggo:

I usually write about my own kids and their exploits, but I have been compelled to write this column about a child I don’t know and the totally ridiculous people who keep coming after her. Now before you get too deep into this piece, total disclaimer – this article may not be directed to you. This may be a case of preaching to the choir and we’re all wearing the same colored robes. Your mother raised you well, taught you right from wrong, and you don’t have time for silliness or more importantly IGNORANCE. If this is you, you might want to stop reading now. To be perfectly understood, I’m going to have to use the language of these people to get my point across to them, which may cause the choir to have an extreme case of Ringu. If you do have the stomach to continue, pull up a chair with some snacks and a drink, because Fairy Godmother is about to read.

ReadHunny
Once upon a time, there was a lovely little girl named Blue Ivy who was the punch line of jokes made at a corny, wack award shows by an equally corny, wack ex-girlfriend/jump-off hostess, the subject of a petition to get her mother to “do her hair,” and the butt of many online memes making fun of her looks. A recent one on (black) Twitter showed a light skinned little girl with sandy brown long, wavy hair next to Little Miss Blue with the caption, “This is how I thought Blue Ivy would look.”

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Since then there have been proclamations such as, “It’s about time they did something to that child’s hair!” when she was dressed up as MJ for Halloween and a recent outing with her mom where she wore an adorable bun, but just this past weekend her hair was in a ‘fro for her Auntie Solange’s wedding the comments came out AGAIN.

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‘fro on fleek
So, let me speak to the people who create this garbage and the people who not only find it funny, but agree with the sentiments in a way that only you will understand: Get cho life, Boo-Boo! Kids are supposed to get the Apollo pass! Whenever a kid sings at the Apollo Theater, they aren’t booed and the Sandman doesn’t come for them no matter how horrible they sound! They get a pass because you’re wack if you spill tea about a child!  Why are you coming after a three year old? Blue is about that toddler life! First, y’all were complaining that her mom wasn’t pregnant with her, now you have something to say when you see she looks just like BOTH of her parents . . . but that’s none of my business . . . and it’s none of yours too!

Since you all are so interested in somebody else’s kid, let me ask what are you doing with your own? Have they been to the dentist or had a check up? Do they know their ABC’s, 1,2,3s, how to use a dictionary, or their times tables? Do they know how to answer the phone or how to behave in public? Have you taken them to places other than the mall, McDonald’s, and Chucky Cheese? Do you talk to them about their day or world events? Do they know who the mayor of their city is? Do you? And to the nitwit who came up with the online petition to get Beyonce’ to comb Blue’s hair, where’s your petition to improve education in the public schools, clean up our communities, and provide justice for our youth and their families when they have interactions with the police?

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Blue is a beautiful, healthy little girl who has two parents that are not you, so let them do what they want to do with their kid and her hair. It is what it is! Oh yeah . . . and they making money . . . I’m just saying . . . bye Felicia!

Let the choir say “Amen, Fairy Godmother!”

Check out more from Elise Chance on her blog For Real Though and peace be with you!

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Cornball Corner: Don Lemon-head

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 11-19-2014

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Several old rape allegations against comedian Bill Cosby have resurfaced in the news recently. I mean Dr. Huxtable done allegedly had er’body, including former supermodel Janice Dickinson! Last night on CNN, Don Lemon sat down with one of the accusers, Joan Tarshis, who claims she was drugged and assaulted twice in 1969. During the second alleged attack, Tarshis reportedly told Cosby that she had an infection so he allegedly forced her to perform oral sex. Screeeeeeeeech! So right here is when Don thought it was a good idea to ask her why she didn’t bite down on Jelloman’s pee pee. Huh? Whet? Someone call Sandman to get this bamma up off the anchor desk!

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Blame the Puerto Rican….

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 11-17-2014

rs_634x813-140912090552-634.The-View-Cast-JR-91214<– The co-hosts during happier times, ignore Whoop’s snakeskin crocs…

It’s not all good in the hood at The View. If you believe recent reports, co-hosts Rosie O’Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg are blaming the other Rosie for the tanking ratings. They claim Ms. Perez’s “distinctive” voice is doing them in. Whet? THAT’S CODE, SON! So you’re just going to ignore the fact co-host and Republic Strategist Nicolle Wallace’s voice sounds like a bored soccer mom on her 9th morning martini? Um, slurshrill.com! Rosie Perez can’t shoulder the entire blame on her lovely Puerto Rican shoulders. I mean big Roe and Whoopi are approaching memaw territory and with Elizabeth Hasslebeck’s simple arse gone, there is just really nothing aesthetically to see here. Kind of like the big drawls area of the lingerie section. NOTHING TO SEE!

Fight the power Rosie, we got you boo:

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Brewchies At The Movies: Beyond the Lights

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted on 11-12-2014

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Love & Basketball writer/director Gina Prince-Bythewood is back with her latest project. Beyond the Lights is a story of love… black love! When was the last time you saw that in a major film release? Despite her Love & Basketball and The Secret Life of Bees successes, this film almost didn’t happen. Bythewood had been working on it for the better part of 7 years, trying to get the film made and a studio to fund it. She shared her struggle during a Q&A session at the Blogalicious conference that I got to participate in last week in San Antonio, TX.
Taste The Brew for more

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