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Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss

Brew Buzz: “I Know Why the Caged Creole Sings: The Beyonce Knowles Story”


Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Beyonce, brew bits, brew buzz, Uncategorized | Posted on 02-08-2012

Not to be out done by “Katie Perry:  Watch My Boobs In 3 D” and “Justin Beiber: For Colored Girls Who Will Never Touch Me When Latinas Are Enuf”  The LA Times is reporting that King Bey is looking to star and direct her own documentary. 

According to a person familiar with the package who was not authorized to talk about it publicly, the movie is as a mix of music and personal study, blending concert footage with confessional interview. Knowles not only stars in the project but is directing it, and will also serve as a producer. About 20 minutes of footage has been shown to distributors. A representative at Knowles’ agency did not immediately reply to a request for comment. Source

 You knew it was coming.  I can save us all some time.  I’m no soothsayer but here’s the highlight reel:

 “I work so hard… I’m in control…Motherhood is amazing…fufilling my dreams is amazing… Jay is amazing. You spending all of your money $300 concert tickets, to  make  my dreams come true… the most AMAZING!”

You’ll watch.


Brew Funny: Shoop!


Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 04-12-2011

My BFF in my head, funny lady Maya Rudolph stopped by SNL last night as Whitney Houston to dispense some great drug advice to apparent smokestack Miley Cyrus.




Get Older, Be Happy…… BAM!


Posted by Piper from the Brew | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 01-11-2011

As I get older it seems each birthday comes with more introspection, am I happy? If I’m not happy am I doing my best to change the things that are in my power to change? (nothing worse than a complainer that sits on her ass and does nothing but complain) Are the people I’m calling friends truly living up to that title? Do I need to do a ‘people colonic’ and remove the toxic mofos from my cipher? Does the yelling my mother does in the phone inch her closer and closer to living in a home as opposed to living with me in her golden years? These are all the things I think of as my born day approaches.

I would say about 3 birthdays ago I got over the whole, “I’m supposed to have this or that by this age” thing. That is not a cool nor a productive way to live your life. You are supposed to have what the fug you have and be who the fug you are as you are right now. So I’m good there, finally. But I am always looking to improve, like always. I have been working on losing this 40lbs since I was like 16, and I will never stop trying, like ever…. I ain’t no giver upper!

So that’s it! I have decided that this birthday I will be celebrating my resillency, how when life has kicked me in the gut and stolen my Gucci bag that I purchased from a prime bootleger in Chinatown, I have not given up, I won’t give up. I love that about me, it’s probably my best quality. As long as I’m alive I’m gonna always try my best. I used to give up because I felt like I gave my all and didn’t get the result I wanted so I decided that God must not want me to have said outcome, but that is not the case at all. So what I’ve been trying to lose 40lbs since puberty, so what! Guess what? I have thoroughly enjoyed all the steaks, fries, and ice cream that have prevented me from doing so, so there’s been a lot joy attached to this extra weight, so technically I haven’t failed myself at all, I’ve just been happy and let me tell you something, when you get to happy you have accomplished a helluva lot :)




Brewchies at the Movies: “Beats, Rhymes & Life…”


Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 18-07-2011

So everyone who knows me knows that I love hip-hop, to say the least. I don’t mean this new ignant hook over beats ish, I’m talking about ANTE-UP-SCENARIO-SUPERTHUG-ONE MORE CHANCE type business. The winter white bomber wearing, hanging with your girls with some big ass earring on the Ave joints. I rarely listen to the radio anymore because I want to stab my eye out with a sharp pencil sometimes. Needless to say I was super excited about the new ATCQ documentary by Michael Rapaport (@rapaportmichael), “Beats, Rhymes & Life: The Travels of a Tribe Called Quest“. Now I’m no Dream Hamptom but here’s my honest analysis of the movie. It was good!!! It starts at the end so to speak, beef between Q-Tip, Ali and Phife Dawg ended their 10 yr + run, the crew is barely speaking, well really it’s Phife and John/Q-Tip/Kamal not feeling the love and Ali Shaheed Muhammed caught in the middle. (BTW – Jesus be a set of braces because ASM is fione!!!! – Yum) Then it goes back to the beginning and how the group forms with all members including a well-spoken and impressive Jarobi recounting their mega-career and at the end, mega-beef with one disturbing exchange between Q-Tip and Phife caught on tape. To be honest, it was hard to watch the inside bickering, @iamthephifer’s failing health and his life-controlling sugar addiction. I could tell that Michael Rapaport respects the art tremendously. And hey, I always can rock with a cool white boy even though I keep seeing him as crazy ass Remy from Higher Learning, lol! I didn’t feel like it painted any member in a negative light as @Qtiptheabstract later claimed. I see both sides to the Phife/Tip beef. I also forgot how great of a music producer Q-Tip really is! I love the cameos, especially Busta Rhymes talking about how one ATCQ song makes him cry. The movie also exposed a true bond between all four members that brought Jarobi to tears at one point. I don’t want to give everything away but “Beats, Rhymes & Life” is definitely a melancholy walk back down memory lane. A fun ride that we should all support. Let’s just hope Cash Money Brothers does not try this at home! Remember: A, E, I, O, U and sometimes mf’in Y!!!


Be Careful How You ‘Rep Your Set’………


Posted by Piper from the Brew | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 16-05-2011

So I went to see a few picture shows this weekend with my soror visiting from outta town, First stop was ‘Bridesmaids’ which was absolutely hee-larry-ous! if you haven’t seen it yet you  must go at once! Next stop was “Jumping the Broom” ( I had originally said I wasn’t gonna see it but since we were movie hopping… wha the hell!) I didn’t like it that much but it wasn’t the worst either. But this is not a movie review, this is about the a-hole lady that we encountered when trying to find seats next to one another before the start of “Jumping the Broom”. Ok so you know how you get inside the theatre and all the seats are almost filled but there’s scattered seating and if one person simply moves over a seat you and your pal/date can sit together? Seems real simple right? Well it was when we got in the theatre for “Bridesmaids”, we couldn’t find 2 seats together so we approached a couple and before we could even ask “excuse can you move over one?” they were already out of their seats and moved over with a smile. No drama, no tooth sucking, no eye rolling…. nuffin! Ok great, everything smooth. But wait! not so fast! We go inside the “Jumping the Broom” theatre and run into the same situation. My girl excuses herself to the ladies room and leaves me with the task of finding us 2 seats together, no biggie, I see some options and make my approach. As I lean over and ask a couple if they mind moving over one,  the bullshiggity ensues. The man quickly gets up, the woman however does not budge, she sits still, lips pouted out, sucks teeth, looks over at her boo and says “why did you move? I mind and I’m not moving!”

HOLY CHIT!!! so at this point I think it noteworthy to point out that they were colored and she was a loud and proud member of Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority, I could not believe what had just occurred, neither could her man. In the end he gets up and moves to the seat next to hers. Why are we so mean and disgusting to one another??? Like what would make an obviously college educated woman, throw on her colors and then proceed to go out in public and be a complete ahole to a woman who could have very well been a member of the same organization??? I was quite surprised that she would display this kind of behavior while wearing her AKA para, like wow! It all happened so fast but if I was really thinking I shoulda said ” well gee thanks soror for your kindness” (even though I’m a Zeta”).  I’m not trying to make it seem like I haven’t encountered ignorance of ginormous proportions before but this one really threw me off, like what the fook!

I have no idea what was up her arse and I certainly do not think all AKA’s are obnoxious pigs, but her psycho behavior reminded me that we should always be conscious of who we are presenting to the world. That was not the way to rep your set miss!  Stop being so damn mean and smile sometimes just to smile……… and oh yeah, if someone asks you to move over one so they can sit next to their pal….