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Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss

Things On the ‘Net That Made Me Puke, Today:

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Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in cat tats, Web Randomness | Posted on 12-01-2010


Some bama azz bama decided, ‘Hey-I’ve got this hairless Sphinx cat. It would be hawwt to tat it with a Sphinx!!’ and then they sniffed some more glue and commenced to tatting.

Psst…PETA, why don’t you holler at this schmuck, and don’t worry about where we stand on fur?

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Brew Pix: The Jolie-Pitt Girls Have More Style Than You!

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Posted by Piper from the Brew | Posted in Web Randomness | Posted on 30-09-2009

The hat to the side..is killin me softly…

Love the Pre-schooler Boho chic… awww look and Z’s getting a billy-goat ride…seriously.. you look like a serial killer, dude.

Halle Burry Bishes answers the cougar ‘sexy’ casual debate. See, Mariah, we can’t see her heart beating and she looks amazing…. look into that!

And Jimmy Smits is NOT amused…
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Brew Pix: The Jolie-Pitt Girls Have More Style Than You!

0

Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in Web Randomness | Posted on 30-09-2009

The hat to the side..is killin me softly…

Love the Pre-schooler Boho chic… awww look and Z’s getting a billy-goat ride…seriously.. you look like a serial killer, dude.

Halle Burry Bishes answers the cougar ‘sexy’ casual debate. See, Mariah, we can’t see her heart beating and she looks amazing…. look into that!

And Jimmy Smits is NOT amused…
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Brew Pix: The Jolie-Pitt Girls Have More Style Than You!

1

Posted by admin | Posted in Web Randomness | Posted on 30-09-2009

The hat to the side..is killin me softly…

Love the Pre-schooler Boho chic… awww look and Z’s getting a billy-goat ride…seriously.. you look like a serial killer, dude.

Halle Burry Bishes answers the cougar ‘sexy’ casual debate. See, Mariah, we can’t see her heart beating and she looks amazing…. look into that!

And Jimmy Smits is NOT amused…
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Brew Aha Moment: Other People Have Random Thoughts Too!

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Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted in brew aha moment, Web Randomness | Posted on 28-08-2009

As we all get older, age mature, I’m sure we find ourselves having those “aha” moments. Ok, maybe it’s not a “Live Your Best Life”-Come To White Jesus moment, but sometimes small discoveries are enough to get you by for the day. Anywho, a friend forwarded this list to me today about the random things people in their 30s think about. After doing a little Googlin’, I found tons of other similar lists. Now, I’m comforted in knowing I’m not the only one with such random thoughts!

So, read along…then add your own “aha” moments or random thoughts in the comments section below.
Enjoy!

- I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

- Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

- That’s enough, Nickelback.

- I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

- There is a great need for sarcasm font.

- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone is laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Click Taste The Brew to read the rest…

- I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

- The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

- LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

- How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent someone from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”

- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories.

- Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!

- If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….

- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.

- There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

- I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

- I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. “I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?

- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

- When I meet a new girl/guy, I’m terrified of mentioning something she/he hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

- As a driver, I hate pedestrians and as a pedestrian, I hate drivers but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

- Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

- I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

- Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.

- My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?

- It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

- I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

- The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…

- I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

Thanks Jaymie for the tip!

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