Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved http://witchesbrewonline.com LOVE : LIFE : FOOLERY : FACTS Tue, 22 Jul 2014 21:13:38 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.9.1 Will You Watch?: Tyler Perry’s If Loving You Is Wrong http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/will-you-watch-tyler-perrys-if-loving-you-is-wrong/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/will-you-watch-tyler-perrys-if-loving-you-is-wrong/#comments Tue, 22 Jul 2014 19:44:21 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36515
Tyler_Perry_OWN

Oprah Winfrey’s OWN is another step closer to becoming the Tyler Perry Network, thanks to TP’s latest series. “If Loving You Is Wrong” (written, produced and catered by Perry) premieres on OWN September 9th and will be his fourth on the network. The drama follows a middle class group of friends who look “normal” but…

Secrets, lies and deception lie behind closed doors for a group of husbands and wives that live and love on the same street.

TP has three other shows produced for OWN, “The Haves And The Have Nots,” “For Better or Worse” and “Love Thy Neighbor,” which I have never seen. #noshade #maybeso… Here’s a peek at “If Loving You Is Wrong.”

So, will ya watch?

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NWA Flick Wants Black, Thuggy Actors & Poor Dark Skinned Girls http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/nwa-flick-wants-black-thuggy-actors/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/nwa-flick-wants-black-thuggy-actors/#comments Thu, 17 Jul 2014 16:22:39 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36500
NWA casting

The casting is underway for the minor players in the NWA biopic, Straight Outta Compton, and let’s just say the casting call has a way with words… a real racisty way with words.

In a series of posts (both of which have since been deleted from Facebook), Sande Alessi Casting posted the kinds of actors they’re looking for, from “black and thuggy” to “poor” black girls. I mean, we know this film has hood roots and all, but there’s a way to word things without “wording” things. Nahmean?

Bloods_casting_call

A second casting call asked for women, ranking them from A-to-D, with very specific classifications based on skin tone.

SAG OR NON UNION CASTING NOTICE FOR FEMALES-ALL ETHNICITIES- from the late 80′s. Shoots on “Straight Outta Compton”. Shoot date TBD. We are pulling photos for the director of featured extras. VERY IMPORTANT – You MUST live in the Los Angeles area (Orange County is fine too) to work on this show. DO NOT SUBMIT if you live out of the area. Nobody is going to be flying into LA to do extra work on this show – and don’t tell me you are willing to fly in.

SAG OR NON UNION FEMALES – PLEASE SEE BELOW FOR SPECIFIC BREAKDOWN. DO NOT EMAIL IN FOR MORE THAN ONE CATEGORY:

A GIRLS: These are the hottest of the hottest. Models. MUST have real hair – no extensions, very classy looking, great bodies. You can be black, white, asian, hispanic, mid eastern, or mixed race too. Age 18-30. Please email a current color photo, your name, Union status, height/weight, age, city in which you live and phone number to: SandeAlessiCasting@gmail.com subject line should read: A GIRLS

B GIRLS: These are fine girls, long natural hair, really nice bodies. Small waists, nice hips. You should be light-skinned. Beyonce is a prototype here. Age 18-30. Please email a current color photo, your name, Union status, height/weight, age, city in which you live and phone number to: SandeAlessiCasting@gmail.com subject line should read: B GIRLS

C GIRLS: These are African American girls, medium to light skinned with a weave. Age 18-30. Please email a current color photo, your name, Union status, height/weight, age, city in which you live and phone number to: SandeAlessiCasting@gmail.com subject line should read: C GIRLS

D GIRLS: These are African American girls. Poor, not in good shape. Medium to dark skin tone. Character types. Age 18-30. Please email a current color photo, your name, Union status, height/weight, age, city in which you live and phone number to: SandeAlessiCasting@gmail.com subject line should read: D GIRLS

Dr. Dre and Ice Cube are key players in getting this movie made, BTW. Way to keep the Hollywood stereotypes going!

Are you bugged by the casting notices or is this pretty accurate for the era this film is covering? Weigh in below.

Image via Universal Studios
“Bloods” casting call screenshot via Project Casting
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Brew Review: Moisturize Your Situation with Yu-Be http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/yube-skin-cream-review/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/yube-skin-cream-review/#comments Mon, 14 Jul 2014 23:30:30 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36491
Yu-Be_Collage

Keeping my situation moisturized is a top priority for me, especially in the summer when more of my skin is exposed. I’m usually a butter and oil potion lover but looking like you’re being basted in exotic oils is not cute in 90 degree weather. You wind up cooking your skin in all that grease. I needed a new option to keep the ash away, so I was pleasantly surprised by a nearly 60-year old product called Yu-Be that moisturized without being sticky, greasy or “too much” for summer use. Hop on over to my beauty review at Beautiful Brown Girls to read more about how this worked for me. And enter below to get your own!

E N T E R!!!

Good luck!

Thanks to Yu-Be for sponsoring the giveaway. I received the product in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.
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Brew Bits: Apollo Nida is Going Back to the Pokey http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/brew-bits-apollo-nida-is-going-back-to-the-pokey/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/brew-bits-apollo-nida-is-going-back-to-the-pokey/#comments Tue, 08 Jul 2014 20:31:32 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36480
"A Mother's Love" Opening Night

Phaedra Parks better brush up on her Sip N’ Send Off planning because her hubby is going back to his home away from home. Today, a Georgia judge sentenced Apollo Nida to 8 years in prison and 5 years of supervised release. He actually got off light since he was facing 30 years behind bars (*cough… he cooperated… cough cough*). All of this stemmed from Apollo’s conspiracy to commit bank fraud charges earlier this year. Apollo allegedly made up fake collection companies to access credit card info and that’s a no-no. Phaedra better sell some more donkey booty DVDs, tasers and tacky funeral packages since Apollo also owes $4.5 million in restitution. How soon before the “Phaedra: Single in the City” spinoff, Andy Cohen?

Image via Prince Williams/FilmMagic
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Bridal Shower Boo Boo http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/bridal-shower-boo-boo/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/bridal-shower-boo-boo/#comments Tue, 08 Jul 2014 18:11:26 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36471 bridal-shower-invites[1]-291620
I just received the biggest insult today; an Evite to a bridal shower. Why would this innocent gesture itch my anus, you ask? Because I don’t recall getting ANY save the dates or an invitation to the actually wedding! Call me old school but this is beyond de tackay! I would have preferred the Evite to read “cattle call for gifts” because that’s exactly what this trick thought. This e-stank, which wasn’t even Paperless post, is the equivalent to a Hollywood ‘couch’ audition with a gross, sweaty movie ‘director/producer’ where I leave without my dignity for role that I’ll never get; it’s like a cold pop tart when I ordered a warmed Danish; it’s like fake dreads. Okay, I might be going overboard, but she can stuff her cucumber sandwiches.  So when did this become a thing?

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Cornball Corner: Khloe Kardashian http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/cornball-corner-khloe-kardashian/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/cornball-corner-khloe-kardashian/#comments Thu, 03 Jul 2014 18:05:40 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36463 rs_634x1024-140419101334-634.Khloe-Kardashian-French-Montana.jl.041914,<— the “Try Too Hard” awards goes to…

Despite what you think the reason this Kardashian is sitting in our Brew’s Cornball Corner has nothing to do with her sharing DNA with THE most vapid and annoying family in both Americas. She’s there because of that scuzzy scrotum head she calls her man, French Montana. The rapper’s wife, YES WIFE, Deen Kharbouch, the one he “Kevin Harted”, says French is ALLEGEDLY a deadbeat daddy who hasn’t seen their son in MONTHS. Maybe her claim is not 100% accurate, because there are two sides to every story, but I’m still giving the side eye because this isn’t the first time Khloe has dealt with a man who had kids. Actually, didn’t your HUSBAND Lamar Odom’s ex say you were not for the chulrren like that? I cannot respect any woman who thinks it’s okay to accept a Jeep Wrangler and other trinkets from a man who doesn’t see his offspring or even have a 529 plan for them. As his ‘rib’, you should be encouraging all that, feel me? So stew in the corner and figure out how does one’s life take them down the road to the land of fake Moroccan Bammas?

French Montana’s wife sub tweets:

What say you, Brewchies?

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Brew Salutes @TinyMajorMama http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/brew-salutes-tinymajormama/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/brew-salutes-tinymajormama/#comments Mon, 30 Jun 2014 15:33:25 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36457 You want receipts? TMZ will provide them!
Tiny_2014-03-31_21-05
So last night at the Pookie EBT BET Awards, Tiny was doing interviews on the red carpet when Floyd Mayweather tried to say “hello, is it me you’re looking forrrrrrr?”…and then this happened:

Yassss girl, don’t let that messy boxing queen ruin your home sitch. #FIXJESUS

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Brew Review: Jane Iredale’s Magic Hour Makeup Collection http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/brew-review-jane-iredales-magic-hour-makeup-collection/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/brew-review-jane-iredales-magic-hour-makeup-collection/#comments Thu, 26 Jun 2014 19:27:35 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36432
Jane_Iredale_Magic_Hour_collection_collage

Summer’s here. Finally! It’s time for lighter makeup, fresh faces and pops of color. Jane Iredale’s new makeup collection –Magic Hour– arrived at my door just in time for me to test out her pretty neutrals and springy lip colors for the season. Hop over to my monthly review at Beautiful Brown Girls to see more pics, learn more about this makeup line and find out where to buy it.

Thanks to Jane Iredale for sending the products to review. All words and thoughts are my own.
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Anti-Social Media http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/anti-social-media/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/anti-social-media/#comments Wed, 25 Jun 2014 14:37:33 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36308 Well Mr. Interwebs you finally did it. You finally broke my soaring spirit! Congratulations!

Being a STRONG BLACK WOMAN (TM pending), I knew for sure it would be one of the STRONG BLACK WOMEN  ailments that finally took me out. But nope…it was the internet. My life has been ruined by the following culprits:

 

pinterest_logo_0Pinterest: So, I’mma buy all of those supplies for that ‘super easy’ DIY project…and they are gonna sit there right next to the other supplies, for that other super easy DIY project.  I am then going to continue to have anxiety about the money I have wasted at the art supply store and Home Fickin Depot.  So, I am then going to go back on Pinterest, and actually make THIS, to you know ‘accomplish’ something.   I am then going to get the diabetes, I will then have to get my foot cut off, and then I will never be able to wear the hot shoes I posted, on Pinterest.  I will have to figure out how to have that fantasical wedding from my ‘secret Pinterest board’ in the hospital, because I will be bedridden like Big Mama.

 

#OOTH’s (Outfit Of The Day)/ Bad “Fashi’n Bloggers” : Bless your hearts. You are are KILLING IT in your Forever H&M, Ashley Bryant mass produced in Malaysia, Kathie Lee Children Living Under A Sewing Machine Sweatshop working arse finest. BLESS YOUR HEARTS, you shopping off of Instagram for a Bodycon dress, styling it, just like EVERYONE ELSE. JUST BLESS IT….because you ARE killing it! Killing me,  Killing the good bacteria in your vagicat with them no breathing ass fabric pants, RE-Killing the spirit of Coco Chanel, killing creativity by looking like EVERY BODY ELSE, and if you walk near an open flame, you will undoubtedly be killing yourself in that all poly errything!

 

webmd-logoWebMD:  According to WebMD could possibly have: The gout, an arrhythmia, Hepatitis Q,  Balls Palsy, an ingrown toenail and diarrhea. I prob do have the diarrhea, from that pan of Pinterest brownies, I ate, though. *Apropos of nothing, I really am fond of the euro spelling  of diarreah:  diarrhoea.  That random “o” they throw in there really adds to the ‘oh shit!’ of the situation.

 

Cultural and Ethnicity Scholar

Cultural and Ethnicity Scholar

Celebrities who don’t know the meanings of the words they say: JUST.STOP.TALKING. Stop talking about race: Pharrell, Gary Oldman (really man?). Stop talking about rape, especially when you are  likening what amounts to an annoyce that is SO NOT RAPE… TO ACTUAL RAPE. Hell , stop talking about anything that your vapid undereducated ass does not understand.  Here are acceptable topics: Hair. Nails.  How you know Fashion. Your latest bullshit movie role. Your latest shittastic music. OK? Thanks.

 

 

 

 

And still I rise.

#RIP Dr. Angelou

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Brew Reads: Do The Right Thing 25th Anniversary Edition http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/brew-reads-do-the-right-thing-25th-anniversary-edition/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/brew-reads-do-the-right-thing-25th-anniversary-edition/#comments Wed, 25 Jun 2014 13:00:49 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36408
Ammo_Books_Do_The_Right_Thing

To mark the anniversary of Spike Lee’s Do The Right Thing, key players onscreen and behind the camera weigh in on what it was like on the set of the racially explosive film. The commemorative re-release of of the book “Spike Lee: Do the Right Thing” marks the film’s 25th anniversary on June 30th. I was about 11 when the movie came out and Spike Lee movies were off limits for me (Momma’s law!). But, I do remember seeing this one somehow.

The book features everything from first-person accounts of the racial climate in New York City that led Lee to write the script, to how Lee first met the actors and a discussion of which character really “did” the right thing. Lee, the actors, film crew and more, share how the film has left a lasting mark on the culture, even being used in college classrooms, reaching a generation that wasn’t alive when the film debuted. The book also reveals a few gems that may be new to some readers. Did you know Do The Right Thing was the first of many dates for a young Barack Obama and Michelle Robinson? Did you know Lee demanded the tech unions add more black workers in order to get the film made? Did you know the original movie studio loved the film but wanted Lee to make the ending more feel good? Did you know the movie studio that ultimately agreed to make the movie did so at the low, low cost of just $6.5 million? I won’t give it all away, but there’s tons of stuff revealed in the pages that most moviegoers would probably have no idea was going on behind-the-scenes.

Spike Lee: Do the Right Thing” is a good read that will make you laugh, think and say “I didn’t know that!” The book also includes Lee’s handwritten script and great photos from the 1989 film (…join me in feeling old). If you’re really into movies and untold stories from behind-the-scenes, then you’ll enjoy this look back. The 25th anniversary hardcover edition by Spike Lee and Jason Matloff is $25. You’ll get a free anniversary bumper sticker when you pre-order, too. #winning

Was Do The Right Thing a memorable movie for you?

Thanks to AMMO Books for hooking a Witch up for this early review. All thoughts and words are my own.
Image via 40 Acres and a Mule Filmworks
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Confucius say…. http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/confucius-say/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/confucius-say/#comments Tue, 17 Jun 2014 17:30:49 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36397 Rasheeda_and_Kirk_Frost_page-bg_13361-650x406
Never trust shifty-eyed music “producers” who have lil pee pee growing out throats… #fortunecookietalk

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Celebrity Letter: Mama Joyce http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/celebrity-letter-mama-joyce/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/celebrity-letter-mama-joyce/#comments Wed, 11 Jun 2014 13:40:44 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36389 131213_2703202_Mama_Joyce_vs__The_Truth_577x385_90062403771

Dear Mama Joyce,

I finally watched your daughter’s wedding special last night mostly because I was too lazy to find the remote. YOU SUCK! How miserable do you have to be in life to use every opportunity to issue gut punches to your daughter like Floyd Mayweather? That’s love? I have watched you transfer from the frizzy-haired lady with some wisdom who liked to hang around her daughter’s friends and dipped out when dildos came into play — to a Vivica Fox Wig collection connoisseur who’s tongue is so forked, nasty and dark that you had the AUDACITY to suggest that your daughter’s fiance’s DECEASED FATHER was a pimp? Really? Um, do you want to secretly do Todd? Or, do you just transpose your anger from your jacked up love life onto your daughter’s beaus? Pick one of the two because something is wrong up there (*points to forehead*) and you need some couch time, stat! You know Kandi is weak and mentally jacked from all those years I envision you spent reminding her how much you have done for her. Basically, you mind f*cked her into oblivion and submission. Man down. You are a stage mom gone way wrong. The Kris Jenner of Bankhead or wherever YOUR house (that Kandi bought) sits in the A. Everything is about you and that’s the problem. You want your own show or nah? You’re not going to be happy until Kandi is single again with no friends, sitting up there with you and your Memaw clique of senior ratchets eating chips and ish. I frankly cannot stomach you and I can stomach a lot. Back to the ID Channel for me. Bravo gambled on you and lost. Click!

Remember, I beat you because I don’t love you!

Sincerely,

A Witch

P.S. I hope Todd’s mother beats that Joker smirk right off yo’ face! I would feel better.

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That Time Tichina Arnold Ethered French Montana http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/that-time-tichina-arnold-ethered-french-montana/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/that-time-tichina-arnold-ethered-french-montana/#comments Sun, 08 Jun 2014 23:59:17 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36380
French_Montana_and_Tichina_Arnold

About 2 weeks ago, “rapper” and future Mr. Kardashian French Montana came for “Pam” on Instagram, but she didn’t send for him. Tichina Arnold must have read through her mentions and finally caught wind of ole Frenchie’s attempt at humor, and let’s say –in short– she didn’t appreciate it. In fact, she read that arse for the filthiest filth.

Here’s French’s original post, which he captioned “Nahhhhh.”

And, now, for Tichina’s reply earlier today (caption below).

“Man oh man. Mr. Montana, I’ve perused (read through with thoroughness and care) your #instagram profile description, pictures & posts… but despite my determined effort, I STILL don’t have a CLUE to one very simple question… “Who ARE you?”.. I mean other than reading that you’ve dated a Kardashian, and you seem to enjoy taking extraneous pictures with LEGITIMATE celebrities, I’m baffled (perplexed, confused) as to WHO you are & WHAT you actually DO? How do you contribute to society? What do you do to HELP those in need? What philanthropic works have you done? Are you on the board of any charitable organizations? Do you posses your own charitable organization? Do you own your name? How many of your followers are actually REAL followers and not computer generated? Oh.. And one other thing, if you are gonna post or repost things about other people (such as myself). FYI: Maybe you should put more effort into aligning yourself with people who can ASSIST you with building your brand for longevity, only THEN will you be prepared to (as your boy Martin would so clearly put it) “Stomp with the big dogs”. But either way, I’m pleased to know you are a true fan of the Martin show despite what criticisms you have. Your continued support is proof that for over 30 years, I have CONTRIBUTED something of VALUE on television to many people (including yourself) and many generations and hopefully more to come. Hit me up and maybe I can hook you into individuals who have “Serious Inquiries” regarding hiring you. I just need to know what exactly it is that you are SELLING, because unfortunately, I STILL don’t know. Keep your head up & GOD Bless! TICHINA … Oh! One more thing, if you know of anyone who has an auto immune disease such as #Lupus, go check out my 501c3 organization at www.wewinfoundation.org – Unfortunately thousands of women (and men) battle with this constant life threatening #autoimmune #disease everyday. It would be AMAZING if you made a donation instead of losing 40k in one on one basketball bets with your cohorts. Your positive & monetary support would be GREATLY appreciated. Thank you for your time.”

And, children, the library is now CLOSED!

Images via Johnny Nunez/WireImage and Ari Perilstein/WireImage
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#NOThappy with Pharrell http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/nothappy-with-pharrell/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/nothappy-with-pharrell/#comments Wed, 04 Jun 2014 18:25:16 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36374
Pharrell_Williams_Elle_UK

Pharrell Williams swapped his Buffalo hat for an Indian headdress on the cover of Elle UK. Twitter went nuts, accusing him of wearing Native American garb as a costume. He was Twitter dragged via a series of tweets using the #NOThappy hashtag. Get it?

Pharrell –who has claimed to have Native American ancestry– is now apologizing (through his rep) for the oversight.

“I respect and honor every kind of race, background and culture. I am genuinely sorry.”

Elle UK also pulled its quote calling the cover with the feather headdress his “best ever shoot.”

When will people learn?

Image via Elle UK
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Brew Review: Mineral Eyeshadow by TNT Cosmetics http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/brew-review-mineral-eyeshadow-by-tnt-cosmetics/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/brew-review-mineral-eyeshadow-by-tnt-cosmetics/#comments Tue, 03 Jun 2014 18:03:10 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36363
TNT Cosmetics

As a beauty junkie, I’m always on the lookout for that new-new. I love trying the latest and greatest from major brands, but especially from newer brands or smaller businesses trying to make their way in the world…like lil ole me. So, when the owner of TNT Cosmetics reached out to me about their line of loose mineral eyeshadow, I couldn’t pass it up. TNT aims to be cost-effective without watering down their quality. Their motto is “you don’t have to sacrifice quality for quantity.” And I can get with that! They sent me samples from their mineral collection to try out, ranging from bold gold to a beautiful blue with reflective flecks of brown. Jump over to my beauty review on Beautiful Brown Girls to see the great colors. And, if you’re ready to browse and order NOW, the good folks at TNT are offering FREE SHIPPING right now, exclusively for you Brewchies until the end of June. Use code witchesbrew at checkout and let me know what you think of the products.

Thanks to TNT Cosmetics for sending the products to review. All words and thoughts are my own.
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Rick Ross Wants You To Know… http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/05/rick-ross-wants-you-to-know/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/05/rick-ross-wants-you-to-know/#comments Tue, 27 May 2014 17:28:32 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36356
Rick Ross

That he will be “rich forever.” Well, at least his face will be. Check out his latest tattoo.

Officer Rozay or whatever he goes by now, debuted the new look on Instagram, opting for the tattoo under his lip. I guess the rest of his body is already spoken for.

Rick Ross
Mmmm, teetay gravy!

He must have missed 50 Cent’s face tatt advice…

On an up note, I guess it’s better than Gucci Mane’s ice cream cone.

Ricky better hope the money never runs out.

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While You Were Out http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/05/while-you-were-out/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/05/while-you-were-out/#comments Mon, 26 May 2014 01:40:37 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36347
while-you-were-out

Something happened this weekend while you were sunnin’ and funnin’ and you may (or may not) care about it, but as the Rona Barrett of the ghetto, I reckon it’s my duty to report it. Or whatever.

Kim Kardashian took a bride this weekend got married again, for the _____th time (I’ve lost count). The Carters opted for a weekend in the Hamptons rather than jetting off to Italy and Kardashian brother, Rob, tearfully left before the wedding because (allegedly) he didn’t want to take pictures due to his weight gain. TMZ (they be knowin’) says Rob stormed off, calling the wedding of the century “superficial bullshit!” Well, wasn’t it?

Kim_Kardashian_wedding_dress_3

Kim wore a gown designed by Kanye’s bestie, Riccardo Tisci of Givenchy. The same designer who set her up in that couch dress at The Met Gala last year.


In true Kanye fashion, he gave a 20 minute speech/rant/toast(?) to his new bride that included commentary about how he and Kim are treated by the media. His speech included these nuggets:

“They feel like it’s OK to put you on the tabloid covers to sell your image, to use you in an ‘SNL’ spoof.”

“We don’t negotiate. We’re not like that. We’re not stupid.”

“The Kardashians are an industry!”

“We are warriors! There is not one person at this table that has not had to defend us at some point or another.”

Talking to a table of guests, ‘Ye said:

“At this table…the combination of powers…can make the world a better place.”

Then he called them…

“…the most remarkable people of our time.”

Kanye also called his new wife the “ideal celebrity…the ideal art.” And, at this point, I would have been puking up the passed hors d’oeuvres. I mean, congrats to them.

I imagine the rest of the wedding went pretty much like this…

Kimye_wedding_tweet

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Shop with the Witches! http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/05/shop-with-the-witches/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/05/shop-with-the-witches/#comments Mon, 26 May 2014 00:20:57 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36338
Shop with the Witches Collage

It’s that time again! Time to give a shout out to our advertisers who offer you sweet deals and support a Witch in the process. If you ever wonder “say, hey, what can I do to love up on these Witches?” Well, here’s your answer: click an ad, buy something from one of those retailers, shop our store or drop a lil somethin’ somethin’ in our PayPal over there on the right. I mean, you love to shop, so why not do it from this here website?!?

In the mood for shoes? We’ve got great offers from JustFab (this big foot gal’s personal fave!) and Shoe Mint. You can grab two pairs of shoes (or 2 bags) from JustFab for $39.95 if you sign up today. Shoe Mint is offering 25% off your first pair. Check ‘em out!

Need a makeup refresher? Shop BH Cosmetics for affordable, funky colors for the summer at up to 65% off!

Charming_Charlie
Looking for new baubles for the season? Charming Charlie is having a big sale this weekend and they’ve got free shipping if you spend $50…which is easy to do!

maliamills
Bathing suit season is upon us and you know you need a couple new ones to show off all that hard work you put in last winter. Malia Mills has cute designs for bra sizes 30A to 40F and bottoms in sizes 2 to 16.

Need a great gift for the graduate in your life? Grab a name plate or monogram necklace at a 10% discount for Brew readers!

mug
And if you want to finally cop that Brew travel mug or a Brew tee for your baby or dog, head over to the Brew store right nah for 20% off. Shop by May 26th at 11:59PM PT to get the deal. Use the code LANDOFDAFREE at checkout.

See, there’s lots of ways you can show the Brew some love while you get your shop on! If you’re ready to browse, be sure to click the links provided above and always check the right sidebar for the latest shopping additions.

Thanks for your continued support. #feedawitch

Links do not indicate endorsements. Shop at your own risk.
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Ask A Dude: The Big Dismount http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/05/ask-a-dude-the-big-dismount/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/05/ask-a-dude-the-big-dismount/#comments Thu, 22 May 2014 20:58:55 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36134 dudeAuthor, Poet, and Contemporary Dancer Chris Rock  once said “If you take the duration of a relationship and divide it in half that’s how long the couple has been breaking up”.  Is there any truth to this?  How long does it take men to detach?

*****

 

 

 

 

Young (not anymore) MC But why does he really look like SUpreme, doe?

Young (not anymore) MC But why does he really look like SUpreme, doe

SUpreme:  How long it takes a man to detach is based on the man – there’s no general, uniform answer. Honestly – I don’t know why people think all men or all women fit into the same box on things, ESPECIALLY with these new age emo Drake dudes running around fluffing up ish and exfoliating their eyebrows. Some men are more feminine than the women – and I DON’T mean effeminate gay dudes, either!

So the only way I can answer is to put my own detachment. I’m rather cold – if I’ve truly detached from anything, it’s instant once it happens. I will notice myself caring less, and can warn about that – but once it’s gone, I’m gone mentally. It’s not coming back. The “cut the relationship in half” thing doesn’t work with me – cuz I would never stay in a relationship that long if I was truly checked out. What’s the point? Do us both a favor and move on for the better of BOTH our lives.

 

 

 

 

sure I have a case of mints...

sure I have a case of mints…

STONEy: Depends on how deep your feelings are. Most men make the the mistake of seeking comfort outside of the relationship. If you really love someone you try to work through it. If not its almost instant

 

 

 

 

 

 

LL A Delicate J

LL Delicate J

 

CASHER: Naw, I don’t think that’s true. Especially for a long-term relationship. As far as how long it takes men to detach, that depends on the man and how connected he was from the beginning. If it was a relationship full of pressure and stress, it probably won’t take take that long. But if there was some substance or source that he got from that woman, it may take a long time. Best friend’s are hard to move on from. Great lovers are hard to move on from. “Matching crazies” are hard to move on from. It depends on how deep and what your level of substance was for him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

300_45935

This guy…

Phlip:  I cannot say that is true for both parties.  It can be that something comes up between the parties that just cannot be reconciled, or one party is simply too stubborn to work toward an amicable solution.  I cannot imagine that a couple that has been together longer than a year or two spending an entire half of their time working towards breaking up.

When it IS over, though, men tend to be able to shift focus and actually move on more easily.  I won’t say it is “immediately,” but generally he and some of his best friends are working toward moving on as soon as possible. (So his crusty bestie Ced is taking him to all the scrip clubs. That same bamma that ate your food every Thanksgiving. Fucker-E.)

 

BigDaddyKane03

I bet Gross just sits around his house like this waiting for the p-train to hit the station.

 

 

Gross DudeHell, that applies to F^ck buddies as well.  I’ve been breaking up with a few for a good 5-10 years now….and we weren’t even F^ck buddies that long. (- BLANK STARE- E.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apropos of nothing…after looking for all of these 80′s avatars… I wanna jam!!

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Will You Watch?: Tracee Ellis Ross & Anthony Anderson in Black-ish http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/05/will-you-watch-tracee-ellis-ross-anthony-anderson-in-black-ish/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/05/will-you-watch-tracee-ellis-ross-anthony-anderson-in-black-ish/#comments Fri, 16 May 2014 00:10:43 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36297
Blackish

It’s upfront season and all the networks are rolling out their Fall lineups. We told you about FOX’s new Lee Daniels project, Empire, yesterday. Now, ABC is weighing in with a new comedy that’s bringing more “color” to primetime. The new show, Black-ish stars Anthony Anderson as “Andre,” a successful businessman who’s raising his family in the ‘burbs. “Andre” fears his children don’t know the struggle and are losing their connection to black culture. Tracee Ellis Ross plays his wife and Lawrence Fishburne takes the role of “Andre’s” father. Anderson, Fishburne and Larry Wilmore –who will take over The Colbert Report’s timeslot when Stephen Colbert moves onto CBS– are all executive producers. Take a look…

Post by Black-ish.

Looks cute and I’d imagine the premise of this show may be a “thing” for black parents who make far, far more than my Witchly coins. Black-ish airs Wednesdays at 9:30 pm (ET) on ABC this Fall. So, will ya watch?

Image via ABC
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