Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved http://witchesbrewonline.com LOVE : LIFE : FOOLERY : FACTS Thu, 18 Sep 2014 02:41:39 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.9.2 Brew Review: Beat Acne & Aging with illuMask + GIVEAWAY http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/09/illumask-giveaway/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/09/illumask-giveaway/#comments Thu, 18 Sep 2014 02:36:49 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36624

I am always game to try something new when it comes to beauty. A new cream, a bronzer or unique hair product always finds its way to my bathroom counter. But, I didn’t quite know what to do when I got the offer to review a face mask that lights up! Find out how the anti-aging La Lumière illuMask worked for me! Hop over to my review on Beautiful Brown Girls for more and enter to win your own mask below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck!

Thanks to La Lumière for sponsoring the giveaway. I received the product in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.
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CBS Pissed Off The Bajan Princess http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/09/cbs-pissed-off-the-bajan-princess/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/09/cbs-pissed-off-the-bajan-princess/#comments Tue, 16 Sep 2014 16:42:33 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36666
2014 Summer Classic Charity Basketball Game

Rihanna is finally speaking out about CBS’ decision to yank “Run This Town” from last week’s Thursday Night Football broadcast in the wake of the Ray Rice debacle. The song included a Don Cheadle voiceover and was to open the game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Baltimore Ravens. CBS, presumably in cahoots with the NFL, opted to take a more serious tone and pulled the song and other parts of the pre-show. Rihanna, herself a victim of DV, was basically victimized again by having her project pulled from the show amid whispers of the obvious…linking her abuse to the current issues in the league. CBS decided to bring the song back, causing Rihanna to unleash on the twitters.

Now, CBS has again flip-flopped, deciding to scrap the song altogether (but will keep Cheadle’s part).

Do you think NFL fans are smart enough not to link Rihanna to the current domestic violence issues in the league? Will she forever be a “face” of DV? Or, do you think CBS/NFL pulled it simply to go with a more serious tone for the game? What’s your call?

Image via Michael Stewart/WireImage
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Brewchies at the Movies: No Good Deed http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/09/no-good-deed-review/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/09/no-good-deed-review/#comments Mon, 15 Sep 2014 15:31:12 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36645
Three of your Witches joined all the restless aunties in America this weekend at the theater to see Idris Elba and Taraji P. Henson in “No Good Deed“.

Ya’ll know the premise by now; convict, doorbell ringing, bad judgment calls and a twist.

So let’s stir this cauldron a bit.


Fleur:  Hmmm, Taraji is my DC boo but she basically plays the same chick in every movie. Looks like she borrowed Bey’s frizzy wig from “Obsessed” and gave it trim and a dark rinse.  I kept expecting her to call Idris, “Jody”. She still gets props though.  Idris was good but too restrained. Let your inner psycho go!

Hazel: Taraji joined Gabrielle Union at the school of “How to Portray Yourself in All Movies.” I love her. But, come on, be honest. She is the same person, every time. And, what was up with Idris’ accent? Was he Southern… generic “middle American?” Some words had a drawl, some didn’t. That bugged me a little but his shirtless scenes made up for it.

Piper:  So, Taraji will always be that around the way chick that you root for, but um er rah, I always go to her movies not expecting to see anyone other than Taraji, I don’t wanna knock her talent because well, there’s always her Oscar nominated performance in “Benjamin Button” right? but well, I felt like I was watching her play herself in an ‘Investigation Discovery ’ channel reenactment. So well, take that for what it’s worth. Also of note, and probably only bugged me cause y’all know a witch loves her hair hats, I kept wanting to heat up my curling wand and blend the front of her natural hair through the screen with the curly ‘fro they graced her with, but again, probably just my thing (the two textures really got outta sync the more terrified she became).


Fleur:  The plot was ok. I needed more flashbacks to when Idris was a bad, bad boy for context. I also wanted it to be grimier, darker. You gonna be bad, then be bad! Like when he killed his boo, he should have bathed her, post-mortem, dressed her back up and propped her ass on the bed next to the Annabelle doll, you know, some sadistic shinnnaaaaiiiiiieeeeee.  Or he needed to at least get some cutty before he killed her. I mean wasn’t he in prison for five damn years?

Hazel: Is it Oscar-worthy? Not a chance. It was a step away from a Lifetime movie. There were some definite holes (um, police manhunt or nah?), but, I did enjoy seeing black people in regular movie roles. No slavery, Jim Crow period pieces. Just black people… being black and married, wearing pseudo-naturally curly wigs that shrink and grow with your emotions, being insane and of questionable judgment… you know, ALL the emotions. ALL the feels.

Piper:  Well as plots go, it was typical deranged fine dude who loves to get his kill on. It woulda been nice to see flashbacks of his childhood that show his mama beating him and maybe following it up with a bat in his anus or something, something that would explain his NEED to off the ladies. But we never got that, we only got fine deranged dude with awesome abs. I’m certainly not complaining, in the theatre I saw it in, I forgot I was at the movies because in one scene where he’s taking off his shirt, women were screaming “take it off baybay”! (or maybe that was me, which I’m sure my man did not find the least bit amusing)….. Anyway, the plot twist is actually the reason to see this, otherwise, it’s a typical “RUUUUNNNNNNN GIRL, HE FINNA KILL YOU!!!” type of flick.


Fleur: I give it 6 out of 10.

Hazel: I give it a 7. I did not see that plot twist coming. And, my O.G. NYPD Blue boo Henry Simmons was a niiiiiice added bonus. (He, too, went to the same acting school as Taraji and Gab U. But, he fine tho!)

Piper: I’d give it a 6.5 out of 10

The Witches have spoken. What’s your take?


Movie trailer:


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Brew Quotes: Martha Stewart on Gwyneth Paltrow & OITNB http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/09/brew-quotes-martha-stewart-on-gwyneth-paltrow-oitnb/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/09/brew-quotes-martha-stewart-on-gwyneth-paltrow-oitnb/#comments Sat, 13 Sep 2014 22:31:07 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36629

Martha Stewart wants goopy Gwyneth Paltrow put a sock in it… a fancy, cashmere one. Stewart tells Net-a-Porter’s Porter magazine that the actress/lifestyle/food/health “expert” should shut up and not quit her day job.

“She just needs to be quiet. She’s a movie star. If she were confident in her acting, she wouldn’t be trying to be Martha Stewart.”

The former inmate also took a minute to critique the hit series Orange Is the New Black, saying:

“They could have done that so much better. That girl [Taylor Schilling] is not good enough, the lead actress. I met the real Piper [Kerman]. She was in prison either the same time or after me, and I talked to her about it.”

I can’t wait to be 73 with no filter.
Read more of Martha’s library session
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NFL to Ray Rice: Kick Rocks! http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/09/nfl-to-ray-rice-kick-rocks/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/09/nfl-to-ray-rice-kick-rocks/#comments Mon, 08 Sep 2014 18:50:28 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36615 ray-rice-ravens-file-9aa9486c0c696287_large

“Of course sometimes shit go down when there’s a billion  dollars on an elevator …” – Bey

Opps, wrong elevator! Only, chump change on this lift.

Raymell Mourice Rice (ugh, that gov’t name sucks) ain’t got no job, no mo! T-illumant-Z got their hands on video from inside the Revel Casino elevator in Atlantic City showing Ray Rice knocking his now wife Janay Palmer the fock out in February! I mean wasn’t the video before of him dragging her off the elevator whilst little birdies circled her head enough??? The NFL initially suspended Rice for three games. THREE GAMES, SON?!?  This is a save face totally! Stank you very much!

Inside elevator:


Domestic violence is no joke. I hope Janay gets far away from this stinky lip looking bamma.


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@Debrantney for President! http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/09/debantney-for-president/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/09/debantney-for-president/#comments Tue, 02 Sep 2014 17:33:23 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36605 mgid-uma-video-vh1 <— the “how you say some silly shyt like that” look

White Jesus only knows why Deb Antney from No Love & No Hip Hop Atlanta is my spirit animal! I guess ratchet television makes for some strange bedfellows. I think she reminds me of the candy lady in the ‘jects who wheels and deals all damn day with an unlit Newport hanging out of her mouth. You already know Wacka Flocka’s mama is everyone’s first pick in spades because won’t NO RENEGING be taking place, SON!  YOU RENEGE? YOU DIE! Deb is like the wise, raspy-voiced hood mom who schooled you on everything from relationships to why TOPS will always be better than Backwoods. All this advice while you sat on her plastic kitchen chair drinking her good juice from a Dollar Store pitcher. She looks like the auntie who don’t never bring shyt to the cookout but she’s leaving with a bag filled with plates for her boo who couldn’t make it and you betta not say anything!  Deb looks like she sleeps with her eyes open in her big chair, near the window and when someone tries to whisper in the back room, she yells, “I heard that bamma!”  Pair all that together and she could run for President. I would vote for her. You know the budget will be balanced like a mug, cuz Deb ain’t taking no shorts on the 1st! #mahboo

She talks about some of her experiences growing up in Queens!

Was I lying?


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Brew Review: Moisturize & Shine with Teadora + GIVEAWAY http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/08/brew-review-moisturize-shine-with-teadora-giveaway/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/08/brew-review-moisturize-shine-with-teadora-giveaway/#comments Tue, 26 Aug 2014 18:38:45 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36566

Is your hair fried, dyed and laid to the side from too much summer sun, salt, chlorine and sweat? Then, run, don’t walk, to enter our latest beauty giveaway. One lucky winner will get the all-natural, sulfate-free, vegan shampoo and conditioner from Teadora, a $60 value. Jump over to my review at Beautiful Brown Girls to find out how Teadora worked for me, and enter the giveaway below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck!

Thanks to Teadora for sponsoring the giveaway. I received the products in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.
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Brew Review: Banish Gray Hair with Rootstix + GIVEAWAY http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/08/rootstix-review-giveaway/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/08/rootstix-review-giveaway/#comments Tue, 19 Aug 2014 00:22:52 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36559

Let’s talk about something you may be in denial about. Something you may be tucking under your headwrap or your weave in an attempt to just forget about it. That something is GRAY HAIR! We all probably have a few. I have more than a few and I’ve just gotten lazy about covering them. If you’re lazy, on a budget or simply can’t color your hair (I hear the preggo people shouldn’t do that), then you need to try Rootstix. It’s an easy, affordable way to keep your grays covered. I tested it out for you and I’m giving one away. Hop on over to my review on Beautiful Brown Girls to read more and enter below. Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck!

Thanks to Rootstix for sponsoring the giveaway. I received the product in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.
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Brew Breakdown: “Atlanta Exes” http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/08/brew-breakdown-atlanta-exes/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/08/brew-breakdown-atlanta-exes/#comments Wed, 13 Aug 2014 17:49:07 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36580 Atlanta-Exes

I just watched Atlanta Exes online at my desk (yes I’m trife) which quietly premiered last night on VH-1. Three words: de-press-ing! First of all, I don’t relish any type of break-up, especially the demise of black love, but these chicks are seemingly defining themselves solely by their breakup and the strength of their exes’ identity. Super sad and uncomfy to watch.  Think bootleg “Waiting to Exhale”, mixed with “Love & Hip Hop” and a pinch of  “Single Ladies”. It’s like Mona Scott and Terri McMillan had a lesbian one night stand and came up with this shyt show the next morning over e-cigs and coffee.

The cast:

Christina Johnson
She is the ex wife of Cee Lo “Arms are too short to box with God” Green. She clearly loves big ass shoulders jackets and little ass Cee-lo. Why either? I so don’t know. In one scene she asked him if he was aight if she started dating again, after 8 years! Huh? Girl, get your life. You’re giving that Inch High Private Eye wayyyyyyy too much power over your poon. Get ye on a date, stat!




Monyetta Shaw
Massive dome connoisseur Ne-yo’s ex and mother to his two tykes who still lives with him in Atlanta. Talk about holding on. She also continues to entertain his family weekly and basically fills her days talking about the same ish everyone else is; trying to date. zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzz. Her cute though.



Premiere Of Summit Entertainment's "Ender's Game" - Arrivals

Torrei Hart
Despite her slightly annoying voice and bad Fashion Fair foundation choices, she’s actually a bit likeable. She’s taken a lot of heat for continuing to discuss how she was Kevin Hart’s ride or die back in their college days in Philly and his affair once he made it. But I get it;  she took that micro ninja from Ashy to Classy and is upset that he traded her in, for what apparently is a blasian and younger version of herself.
kevin hart<— am I lying though?




Tameka Raymond
I guess she is the “big name” on this busted up production. I will play nice because Tameka has been through a lot; from losing in her divorce case, to losing custody of her two children with Usher, to losing her son Kile in a tragic jet ski accident. I got nothing. She’s also kinda of funny. I’m holding out hope that she talks about Usher’s peen skills cuz I’ve been wondering…

It does bother me that her oldest son 1) looks older than she does 2) looks like Usher.




Sheree Buchanan
The ex wife of some former Falcons player whom I never heard of, who dresses way too young and tight, has nine bags of yaki in and lots of kids. Nothing to see here people, move along!

So basically, if you can stomach 60 minutes of ex-misery; cleaning out exes closets, talking about exes, crying about exes, crying about new beginnings, a strip club visit or two and then crying about exes again, by all means, tune in! I rather shave my pubes.

Episode 1:

**side note/side-eye: for VH-1 playing a Kevin Hart commercial while I watched it online**


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WTF? Files: Kim Kardashian Inks #Selfie Book Deal http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/08/kim-kardashian-selfie-book/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/08/kim-kardashian-selfie-book/#comments Fri, 08 Aug 2014 19:03:34 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36549

Kim Kardashian is raking in millions with her nonsensical mobile app. Soon, she’ll be sitting on millions more, thanks to a new book o’selfies that hits shelves next spring.

SelfishSelfish” (how fitting!?!) will feature more than 300 pages of Kim being, well, vapid Kim. The book was reportedly inspired by a collection of selfies she took for her new hubby for Valentine’s Day. But, nothing is just for Kanye’s eyes. Natch, the book will be sold to the public in April of next year. “Selfish” will set you back $19.95 for the same crap you can see on Instagram.

Images via Instagram & Rizzoli
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Rocsi: Fetch Team Trade? http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/08/rocsi-fetch-team-trade/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/08/rocsi-fetch-team-trade/#comments Wed, 06 Aug 2014 17:45:43 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36539 lala_vasquez_anthony2012-headshot-big-ver-upper052113-celebs-rocsi-diaz-faints-billboard-red-carpet2007-Keri-hilson-1-400
My Fetch Club Franchise Players have always been rock solid; LaLa Anthony, Rocsi “pick-an-accent” Diaz and Miss Keri Behbeh! Now, in case you’re new around these here parts, we call anyone “Fetch” who is just annoying as the song “Happy” was the 9344th time you heard it, or someone whose presence, smile and the way they spell their name is just irritating at fock. Which is how Rocsi got drafted. Now, there are more members out there; some are secret like the Il-loo-mi-nati and sometimes they switch out, sort of like a Fantasy Football League for Lames, but my franchise players have always remained in tact. Their doing, not mine. Until now. Rosci is acting like she wants to be traded. She’s apparently done breaking up ministerial marriages in Turks & Kinkos and more importantly far from her brief judgment lapse for dealing with Donkey! Ms. Raquel is keeping her head down, hosting shyt and sounding halfway decent unlike Karrythecoachbag Tran’s stint hosting the EBT Awards’ Red Carpet pre-show. But that’s another story.  Roc is seeming a wee less desperado now that those ET checks are coming in. I see you boo! I might need a new Safety soon – *eyes Kae*



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Brewchies At The Movies: Finding Fela + GIVEAWAY http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/08/finding-fela-giveaway/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/08/finding-fela-giveaway/#comments Mon, 04 Aug 2014 17:05:45 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36522

Here at the Brew, we like to keep you cultured and clued in to what’s new in these streets. A documentary on the legendary Afrobeat musician and activist, Fela Kuti, premieres in Washington, DC this Friday and we’ve got a preview for ya. Directed by Academy Award winning filmmaker Alex Gibney, Finding Fela looks at Fela’s life, music and global political impact. I had a chance to screen the film, which includes newly-discovered footage of his performances and interviews, plus interviews with Fela’s family and friends to give you a better look into his life. The documentary masterfully weaves in clips from the Broadway musical, “Fela!,” to help tell the story of how this revolutionary musician, so far ahead of his time, made an impact on his home continent and beyond. Fela used his music and fame to speak out against the oppressive Nigerian dictatorship of the 1970s and ’80s. Even his death opened the door for conversations about sexual health that were often taboo.

Fela’s words are just as impactful today as they were 40 years ago. Check out this clip.

If you aren’t tapping your feet and windin’ in your seat after hearing the Afrobeat grooves, then you’ve missed out! But, Finding Fela is more than just a jam session, it’s a look at an artist whose approach to music is something we rarely (if, ever) see in this brand name, status-heavy, blinged out era. Finding Fela runs August 8–14 at the Landmark E Street Cinema in DC. Visit the film’s website to find out when it’s showing near you.

One lucky winner (and a guest) will get tickets to see the documentary at the Landmark in DC. Enter below for your chance to get 2 tickets, plus the film’s soundtrack. You MUST be in the Washington, DC area to win. Good luck!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Will you be seeing Finding Fela?

Thanks to the “Finding Fela” team for sponsoring this giveaway.
Image via Kino Lorber Inc.
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Will You Watch?: Tyler Perry’s If Loving You Is Wrong http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/will-you-watch-tyler-perrys-if-loving-you-is-wrong/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/will-you-watch-tyler-perrys-if-loving-you-is-wrong/#comments Tue, 22 Jul 2014 19:44:21 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36515

Oprah Winfrey’s OWN is another step closer to becoming the Tyler Perry Network, thanks to TP’s latest series. “If Loving You Is Wrong” (written, produced and catered by Perry) premieres on OWN September 9th and will be his fourth on the network. The drama follows a middle class group of friends who look “normal” but…

Secrets, lies and deception lie behind closed doors for a group of husbands and wives that live and love on the same street.

TP has three other shows produced for OWN, “The Haves And The Have Nots,” “For Better or Worse” and “Love Thy Neighbor,” which I have never seen. #noshade #maybeso… Here’s a peek at “If Loving You Is Wrong.”

So, will ya watch?

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NWA Flick Wants Black, Thuggy Actors & Poor Dark Skinned Girls http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/nwa-flick-wants-black-thuggy-actors/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/nwa-flick-wants-black-thuggy-actors/#comments Thu, 17 Jul 2014 16:22:39 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36500
NWA casting

The casting is underway for the minor players in the NWA biopic, Straight Outta Compton, and let’s just say the casting call has a way with words… a real racisty way with words.

In a series of posts (both of which have since been deleted from Facebook), Sande Alessi Casting posted the kinds of actors they’re looking for, from “black and thuggy” to “poor” black girls. I mean, we know this film has hood roots and all, but there’s a way to word things without “wording” things. Nahmean?


A second casting call asked for women, ranking them from A-to-D, with very specific classifications based on skin tone.

SAG OR NON UNION CASTING NOTICE FOR FEMALES-ALL ETHNICITIES- from the late 80′s. Shoots on “Straight Outta Compton”. Shoot date TBD. We are pulling photos for the director of featured extras. VERY IMPORTANT – You MUST live in the Los Angeles area (Orange County is fine too) to work on this show. DO NOT SUBMIT if you live out of the area. Nobody is going to be flying into LA to do extra work on this show – and don’t tell me you are willing to fly in.


A GIRLS: These are the hottest of the hottest. Models. MUST have real hair – no extensions, very classy looking, great bodies. You can be black, white, asian, hispanic, mid eastern, or mixed race too. Age 18-30. Please email a current color photo, your name, Union status, height/weight, age, city in which you live and phone number to: SandeAlessiCasting@gmail.com subject line should read: A GIRLS

B GIRLS: These are fine girls, long natural hair, really nice bodies. Small waists, nice hips. You should be light-skinned. Beyonce is a prototype here. Age 18-30. Please email a current color photo, your name, Union status, height/weight, age, city in which you live and phone number to: SandeAlessiCasting@gmail.com subject line should read: B GIRLS

C GIRLS: These are African American girls, medium to light skinned with a weave. Age 18-30. Please email a current color photo, your name, Union status, height/weight, age, city in which you live and phone number to: SandeAlessiCasting@gmail.com subject line should read: C GIRLS

D GIRLS: These are African American girls. Poor, not in good shape. Medium to dark skin tone. Character types. Age 18-30. Please email a current color photo, your name, Union status, height/weight, age, city in which you live and phone number to: SandeAlessiCasting@gmail.com subject line should read: D GIRLS

Dr. Dre and Ice Cube are key players in getting this movie made, BTW. Way to keep the Hollywood stereotypes going!

Are you bugged by the casting notices or is this pretty accurate for the era this film is covering? Weigh in below.

Image via Universal Studios
“Bloods” casting call screenshot via Project Casting
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Brew Review: Moisturize Your Situation with Yu-Be http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/yube-skin-cream-review/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/yube-skin-cream-review/#comments Mon, 14 Jul 2014 23:30:30 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36491

Keeping my situation moisturized is a top priority for me, especially in the summer when more of my skin is exposed. I’m usually a butter and oil potion lover but looking like you’re being basted in exotic oils is not cute in 90 degree weather. You wind up cooking your skin in all that grease. I needed a new option to keep the ash away, so I was pleasantly surprised by a nearly 60-year old product called Yu-Be that moisturized without being sticky, greasy or “too much” for summer use. Hop on over to my beauty review at Beautiful Brown Girls to read more about how this worked for me. And enter below to get your own!

E N T E R!!!

Good luck!

Thanks to Yu-Be for sponsoring the giveaway. I received the product in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.
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Brew Bits: Apollo Nida is Going Back to the Pokey http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/brew-bits-apollo-nida-is-going-back-to-the-pokey/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/brew-bits-apollo-nida-is-going-back-to-the-pokey/#comments Tue, 08 Jul 2014 20:31:32 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36480
"A Mother's Love" Opening Night

Phaedra Parks better brush up on her Sip N’ Send Off planning because her hubby is going back to his home away from home. Today, a Georgia judge sentenced Apollo Nida to 8 years in prison and 5 years of supervised release. He actually got off light since he was facing 30 years behind bars (*cough… he cooperated… cough cough*). All of this stemmed from Apollo’s conspiracy to commit bank fraud charges earlier this year. Apollo allegedly made up fake collection companies to access credit card info and that’s a no-no. Phaedra better sell some more donkey booty DVDs, tasers and tacky funeral packages since Apollo also owes $4.5 million in restitution. How soon before the “Phaedra: Single in the City” spinoff, Andy Cohen?

Image via Prince Williams/FilmMagic
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Bridal Shower Boo Boo http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/bridal-shower-boo-boo/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/bridal-shower-boo-boo/#comments Tue, 08 Jul 2014 18:11:26 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36471 bridal-shower-invites[1]-291620
I just received the biggest insult today; an Evite to a bridal shower. Why would this innocent gesture itch my anus, you ask? Because I don’t recall getting ANY save the dates or an invitation to the actually wedding! Call me old school but this is beyond de tackay! I would have preferred the Evite to read “cattle call for gifts” because that’s exactly what this trick thought. This e-stank, which wasn’t even Paperless post, is the equivalent to a Hollywood ‘couch’ audition with a gross, sweaty movie ‘director/producer’ where I leave without my dignity for role that I’ll never get; it’s like a cold pop tart when I ordered a warmed Danish; it’s like fake dreads. Okay, I might be going overboard, but she can stuff her cucumber sandwiches.  So when did this become a thing?


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Cornball Corner: Khloe Kardashian http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/cornball-corner-khloe-kardashian/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/07/cornball-corner-khloe-kardashian/#comments Thu, 03 Jul 2014 18:05:40 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36463 rs_634x1024-140419101334-634.Khloe-Kardashian-French-Montana.jl.041914,<— the “Try Too Hard” awards goes to…

Despite what you think the reason this Kardashian is sitting in our Brew’s Cornball Corner has nothing to do with her sharing DNA with THE most vapid and annoying family in both Americas. She’s there because of that scuzzy scrotum head she calls her man, French Montana. The rapper’s wife, YES WIFE, Deen Kharbouch, the one he “Kevin Harted”, says French is ALLEGEDLY a deadbeat daddy who hasn’t seen their son in MONTHS. Maybe her claim is not 100% accurate, because there are two sides to every story, but I’m still giving the side eye because this isn’t the first time Khloe has dealt with a man who had kids. Actually, didn’t your HUSBAND Lamar Odom’s ex say you were not for the chulrren like that? I cannot respect any woman who thinks it’s okay to accept a Jeep Wrangler and other trinkets from a man who doesn’t see his offspring or even have a 529 plan for them. As his ‘rib’, you should be encouraging all that, feel me? So stew in the corner and figure out how does one’s life take them down the road to the land of fake Moroccan Bammas?

French Montana’s wife sub tweets:

What say you, Brewchies?


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Brew Salutes @TinyMajorMama http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/brew-salutes-tinymajormama/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/brew-salutes-tinymajormama/#comments Mon, 30 Jun 2014 15:33:25 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36457 You want receipts? TMZ will provide them!
So last night at the Pookie EBT BET Awards, Tiny was doing interviews on the red carpet when Floyd Mayweather tried to say “hello, is it me you’re looking forrrrrrr?”…and then this happened:

Yassss girl, don’t let that messy boxing queen ruin your home sitch. #FIXJESUS


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Brew Review: Jane Iredale’s Magic Hour Makeup Collection http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/brew-review-jane-iredales-magic-hour-makeup-collection/ http://witchesbrewonline.com/2014/06/brew-review-jane-iredales-magic-hour-makeup-collection/#comments Thu, 26 Jun 2014 19:27:35 +0000 http://witchesbrewonline.com/?p=36432

Summer’s here. Finally! It’s time for lighter makeup, fresh faces and pops of color. Jane Iredale’s new makeup collection –Magic Hour– arrived at my door just in time for me to test out her pretty neutrals and springy lip colors for the season. Hop over to my monthly review at Beautiful Brown Girls to see more pics, learn more about this makeup line and find out where to buy it.

Thanks to Jane Iredale for sending the products to review. All words and thoughts are my own.
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