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Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss

Confucius say….

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 06-17-2014

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Never trust shifty-eyed music “producers” who have lil pee pee growing out throats… #fortunecookietalk

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Celebrity Letter: Mama Joyce

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 06-11-2014

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Dear Mama Joyce,

I finally watched your daughter’s wedding special last night mostly because I was too lazy to find the remote. YOU SUCK! How miserable do you have to be in life to use every opportunity to issue gut punches to your daughter like Floyd Mayweather? That’s love? I have watched you transfer from the frizzy-haired lady with some wisdom who liked to hang around her daughter’s friends and dipped out when dildos came into play — to a Vivica Fox Wig collection connoisseur who’s tongue is so forked, nasty and dark that you had the AUDACITY to suggest that your daughter’s fiance’s DECEASED FATHER was a pimp? Really? Um, do you want to secretly do Todd? Or, do you just transpose your anger from your jacked up love life onto your daughter’s beaus? Pick one of the two because something is wrong up there (*points to forehead*) and you need some couch time, stat! You know Kandi is weak and mentally jacked from all those years I envision you spent reminding her how much you have done for her. Basically, you mind f*cked her into oblivion and submission. Man down. You are a stage mom gone way wrong. The Kris Jenner of Bankhead or wherever YOUR house (that Kandi bought) sits in the A. Everything is about you and that’s the problem. You want your own show or nah? You’re not going to be happy until Kandi is single again with no friends, sitting up there with you and your Memaw clique of senior ratchets eating chips and ish. I frankly cannot stomach you and I can stomach a lot. Back to the ID Channel for me. Bravo gambled on you and lost. Click!

Remember, I beat you because I don’t love you!

Sincerely,

A Witch

P.S. I hope Todd’s mother beats that Joker smirk right off yo’ face! I would feel better.

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That Time Tichina Arnold Ethered French Montana

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted on 06-08-2014

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About 2 weeks ago, “rapper” and future Mr. Kardashian French Montana came for “Pam” on Instagram, but she didn’t send for him. Tichina Arnold must have read through her mentions and finally caught wind of ole Frenchie’s attempt at humor, and let’s say –in short– she didn’t appreciate it. In fact, she read that arse for the filthiest filth.

Here’s French’s original post, which he captioned “Nahhhhh.”

And, now, for Tichina’s reply earlier today (caption below).

“Man oh man. Mr. Montana, I’ve perused (read through with thoroughness and care) your #instagram profile description, pictures & posts… but despite my determined effort, I STILL don’t have a CLUE to one very simple question… “Who ARE you?”.. I mean other than reading that you’ve dated a Kardashian, and you seem to enjoy taking extraneous pictures with LEGITIMATE celebrities, I’m baffled (perplexed, confused) as to WHO you are & WHAT you actually DO? How do you contribute to society? What do you do to HELP those in need? What philanthropic works have you done? Are you on the board of any charitable organizations? Do you posses your own charitable organization? Do you own your name? How many of your followers are actually REAL followers and not computer generated? Oh.. And one other thing, if you are gonna post or repost things about other people (such as myself). FYI: Maybe you should put more effort into aligning yourself with people who can ASSIST you with building your brand for longevity, only THEN will you be prepared to (as your boy Martin would so clearly put it) “Stomp with the big dogs”. But either way, I’m pleased to know you are a true fan of the Martin show despite what criticisms you have. Your continued support is proof that for over 30 years, I have CONTRIBUTED something of VALUE on television to many people (including yourself) and many generations and hopefully more to come. Hit me up and maybe I can hook you into individuals who have “Serious Inquiries” regarding hiring you. I just need to know what exactly it is that you are SELLING, because unfortunately, I STILL don’t know. Keep your head up & GOD Bless! TICHINA … Oh! One more thing, if you know of anyone who has an auto immune disease such as #Lupus, go check out my 501c3 organization at www.wewinfoundation.org – Unfortunately thousands of women (and men) battle with this constant life threatening #autoimmune #disease everyday. It would be AMAZING if you made a donation instead of losing 40k in one on one basketball bets with your cohorts. Your positive & monetary support would be GREATLY appreciated. Thank you for your time.”

And, children, the library is now CLOSED!

Images via Johnny Nunez/WireImage and Ari Perilstein/WireImage
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#NOThappy with Pharrell

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted on 06-04-2014

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Pharrell Williams swapped his Buffalo hat for an Indian headdress on the cover of Elle UK. Twitter went nuts, accusing him of wearing Native American garb as a costume. He was Twitter dragged via a series of tweets using the #NOThappy hashtag. Get it?

Pharrell –who has claimed to have Native American ancestry– is now apologizing (through his rep) for the oversight.

“I respect and honor every kind of race, background and culture. I am genuinely sorry.”

Elle UK also pulled its quote calling the cover with the feather headdress his “best ever shoot.”

When will people learn?

Image via Elle UK
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Brew Review: Mineral Eyeshadow by TNT Cosmetics

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted on 06-03-2014

TNT Cosmetics

As a beauty junkie, I’m always on the lookout for that new-new. I love trying the latest and greatest from major brands, but especially from newer brands or smaller businesses trying to make their way in the world…like lil ole me. So, when the owner of TNT Cosmetics reached out to me about their line of loose mineral eyeshadow, I couldn’t pass it up. TNT aims to be cost-effective without watering down their quality. Their motto is “you don’t have to sacrifice quality for quantity.” And I can get with that! They sent me samples from their mineral collection to try out, ranging from bold gold to a beautiful blue with reflective flecks of brown. Jump over to my beauty review on Beautiful Brown Girls to see the great colors. And, if you’re ready to browse and order NOW, the good folks at TNT are offering FREE SHIPPING right now, exclusively for you Brewchies until the end of June. Use code witchesbrew at checkout and let me know what you think of the products.

Thanks to TNT Cosmetics for sending the products to review. All words and thoughts are my own.
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