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Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss

Cornball Corner: Khloe Kardashian

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 07-03-2014

rs_634x1024-140419101334-634.Khloe-Kardashian-French-Montana.jl.041914,<— the “Try Too Hard” awards goes to…

Despite what you think the reason this Kardashian is sitting in our Brew’s Cornball Corner has nothing to do with her sharing DNA with THE most vapid and annoying family in both Americas. She’s there because of that scuzzy scrotum head she calls her man, French Montana. The rapper’s wife, YES WIFE, Deen Kharbouch, the one he “Kevin Harted”, says French is ALLEGEDLY a deadbeat daddy who hasn’t seen their son in MONTHS. Maybe her claim is not 100% accurate, because there are two sides to every story, but I’m still giving the side eye because this isn’t the first time Khloe has dealt with a man who had kids. Actually, didn’t your HUSBAND Lamar Odom’s ex say you were not for the chulrren like that? I cannot respect any woman who thinks it’s okay to accept a Jeep Wrangler and other trinkets from a man who doesn’t see his offspring or even have a 529 plan for them. As his ‘rib’, you should be encouraging all that, feel me? So stew in the corner and figure out how does one’s life take them down the road to the land of fake Moroccan Bammas?

French Montana’s wife sub tweets:

What say you, Brewchies?

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Brew Salutes @TinyMajorMama

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 06-30-2014

You want receipts? TMZ will provide them!
Tiny_2014-03-31_21-05
So last night at the Pookie EBT BET Awards, Tiny was doing interviews on the red carpet when Floyd Mayweather tried to say “hello, is it me you’re looking forrrrrrr?”…and then this happened:

Yassss girl, don’t let that messy boxing queen ruin your home sitch. #FIXJESUS

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Brew Review: Jane Iredale’s Magic Hour Makeup Collection

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted on 06-26-2014

Jane_Iredale_Magic_Hour_collection_collage

Summer’s here. Finally! It’s time for lighter makeup, fresh faces and pops of color. Jane Iredale’s new makeup collection –Magic Hour– arrived at my door just in time for me to test out her pretty neutrals and springy lip colors for the season. Hop over to my monthly review at Beautiful Brown Girls to see more pics, learn more about this makeup line and find out where to buy it.

Thanks to Jane Iredale for sending the products to review. All words and thoughts are my own.
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Anti-Social Media

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Posted by Elphaba Of The Brew | Posted on 06-25-2014

Well Mr. Interwebs you finally did it. You finally broke my soaring spirit! Congratulations!

Being a STRONG BLACK WOMAN (TM pending), I knew for sure it would be one of the STRONG BLACK WOMEN  ailments that finally took me out. But nope…it was the internet. My life has been ruined by the following culprits:

 

pinterest_logo_0Pinterest: So, I’mma buy all of those supplies for that ‘super easy’ DIY project…and they are gonna sit there right next to the other supplies, for that other super easy DIY project.  I am then going to continue to have anxiety about the money I have wasted at the art supply store and Home Fickin Depot.  So, I am then going to go back on Pinterest, and actually make THIS, to you know ‘accomplish’ something.   I am then going to get the diabetes, I will then have to get my foot cut off, and then I will never be able to wear the hot shoes I posted, on Pinterest.  I will have to figure out how to have that fantasical wedding from my ‘secret Pinterest board’ in the hospital, because I will be bedridden like Big Mama.

 

#OOTH’s (Outfit Of The Day)/ Bad “Fashi’n Bloggers” : Bless your hearts. You are are KILLING IT in your Forever H&M, Ashley Bryant mass produced in Malaysia, Kathie Lee Children Living Under A Sewing Machine Sweatshop working arse finest. BLESS YOUR HEARTS, you shopping off of Instagram for a Bodycon dress, styling it, just like EVERYONE ELSE. JUST BLESS IT….because you ARE killing it! Killing me,  Killing the good bacteria in your vagicat with them no breathing ass fabric pants, RE-Killing the spirit of Coco Chanel, killing creativity by looking like EVERY BODY ELSE, and if you walk near an open flame, you will undoubtedly be killing yourself in that all poly errything!

 

webmd-logoWebMD:  According to WebMD could possibly have: The gout, an arrhythmia, Hepatitis Q,  Balls Palsy, an ingrown toenail and diarrhea. I prob do have the diarrhea, from that pan of Pinterest brownies, I ate, though. *Apropos of nothing, I really am fond of the euro spelling  of diarreah:  diarrhoea.  That random “o” they throw in there really adds to the ‘oh shit!’ of the situation.

 

Cultural and Ethnicity Scholar

Cultural and Ethnicity Scholar

Celebrities who don’t know the meanings of the words they say: JUST.STOP.TALKING. Stop talking about race: Pharrell, Gary Oldman (really man?). Stop talking about rape, especially when you are  likening what amounts to an annoyce that is SO NOT RAPE… TO ACTUAL RAPE. Hell , stop talking about anything that your vapid undereducated ass does not understand.  Here are acceptable topics: Hair. Nails.  How you know Fashion. Your latest bullshit movie role. Your latest shittastic music. OK? Thanks.

 

 

 

 

And still I rise.

#RIP Dr. Angelou

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Brew Reads: Do The Right Thing 25th Anniversary Edition

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted on 06-25-2014

Ammo_Books_Do_The_Right_Thing

To mark the anniversary of Spike Lee’s Do The Right Thing, key players onscreen and behind the camera weigh in on what it was like on the set of the racially explosive film. The commemorative re-release of of the book “Spike Lee: Do the Right Thing” marks the film’s 25th anniversary on June 30th. I was about 11 when the movie came out and Spike Lee movies were off limits for me (Momma’s law!). But, I do remember seeing this one somehow.

The book features everything from first-person accounts of the racial climate in New York City that led Lee to write the script, to how Lee first met the actors and a discussion of which character really “did” the right thing. Lee, the actors, film crew and more, share how the film has left a lasting mark on the culture, even being used in college classrooms, reaching a generation that wasn’t alive when the film debuted. The book also reveals a few gems that may be new to some readers. Did you know Do The Right Thing was the first of many dates for a young Barack Obama and Michelle Robinson? Did you know Lee demanded the tech unions add more black workers in order to get the film made? Did you know the original movie studio loved the film but wanted Lee to make the ending more feel good? Did you know the movie studio that ultimately agreed to make the movie did so at the low, low cost of just $6.5 million? I won’t give it all away, but there’s tons of stuff revealed in the pages that most moviegoers would probably have no idea was going on behind-the-scenes.

Spike Lee: Do the Right Thing” is a good read that will make you laugh, think and say “I didn’t know that!” The book also includes Lee’s handwritten script and great photos from the 1989 film (…join me in feeling old). If you’re really into movies and untold stories from behind-the-scenes, then you’ll enjoy this look back. The 25th anniversary hardcover edition by Spike Lee and Jason Matloff is $25. You’ll get a free anniversary bumper sticker when you pre-order, too. #winning

Was Do The Right Thing a memorable movie for you?

Thanks to AMMO Books for hooking a Witch up for this early review. All thoughts and words are my own.
Image via 40 Acres and a Mule Filmworks
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