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Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss

Brew Review: Moisturize & Shine with Teadora + GIVEAWAY

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted on 08-26-2014

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Is your hair fried, dyed and laid to the side from too much summer sun, salt, chlorine and sweat? Then, run, don’t walk, to enter our latest beauty giveaway. One lucky winner will get the all-natural, sulfate-free, vegan shampoo and conditioner from Teadora, a $60 value. Jump over to my review at Beautiful Brown Girls to find out how Teadora worked for me, and enter the giveaway below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck!

Thanks to Teadora for sponsoring the giveaway. I received the products in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.
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Brew Review: Banish Gray Hair with Rootstix + GIVEAWAY

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted on 08-18-2014

Black_Rootstix

Let’s talk about something you may be in denial about. Something you may be tucking under your headwrap or your weave in an attempt to just forget about it. That something is GRAY HAIR! We all probably have a few. I have more than a few and I’ve just gotten lazy about covering them. If you’re lazy, on a budget or simply can’t color your hair (I hear the preggo people shouldn’t do that), then you need to try Rootstix. It’s an easy, affordable way to keep your grays covered. I tested it out for you and I’m giving one away. Hop on over to my review on Beautiful Brown Girls to read more and enter below. Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck!

Thanks to Rootstix for sponsoring the giveaway. I received the product in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.
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Brew Breakdown: “Atlanta Exes”

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 08-13-2014

Atlanta-Exes

I just watched Atlanta Exes online at my desk (yes I’m trife) which quietly premiered last night on VH-1. Three words: de-press-ing! First of all, I don’t relish any type of break-up, especially the demise of black love, but these chicks are seemingly defining themselves solely by their breakup and the strength of their exes’ identity. Super sad and uncomfy to watch.  Think bootleg “Waiting to Exhale”, mixed with “Love & Hip Hop” and a pinch of  “Single Ladies”. It’s like Mona Scott and Terri McMillan had a lesbian one night stand and came up with this shyt show the next morning over e-cigs and coffee.

The cast:
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Christina Johnson
She is the ex wife of Cee Lo “Arms are too short to box with God” Green. She clearly loves big ass shoulders jackets and little ass Cee-lo. Why either? I so don’t know. In one scene she asked him if he was aight if she started dating again, after 8 years! Huh? Girl, get your life. You’re giving that Inch High Private Eye wayyyyyyy too much power over your poon. Get ye on a date, stat!

 

 

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Monyetta Shaw
Massive dome connoisseur Ne-yo’s ex and mother to his two tykes who still lives with him in Atlanta. Talk about holding on. She also continues to entertain his family weekly and basically fills her days talking about the same ish everyone else is; trying to date. zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzz. Her cute though.

 

 

Premiere Of Summit Entertainment's "Ender's Game" - Arrivals

Torrei Hart
Despite her slightly annoying voice and bad Fashion Fair foundation choices, she’s actually a bit likeable. She’s taken a lot of heat for continuing to discuss how she was Kevin Hart’s ride or die back in their college days in Philly and his affair once he made it. But I get it;  she took that micro ninja from Ashy to Classy and is upset that he traded her in, for what apparently is a blasian and younger version of herself.
kevin hart<— am I lying though?

 

 

tam-eka

Tameka Raymond
I guess she is the “big name” on this busted up production. I will play nice because Tameka has been through a lot; from losing in her divorce case, to losing custody of her two children with Usher, to losing her son Kile in a tragic jet ski accident. I got nothing. She’s also kinda of funny. I’m holding out hope that she talks about Usher’s peen skills cuz I’ve been wondering…

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It does bother me that her oldest son 1) looks older than she does 2) looks like Usher.

 

 

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Sheree Buchanan
The ex wife of some former Falcons player whom I never heard of, who dresses way too young and tight, has nine bags of yaki in and lots of kids. Nothing to see here people, move along!

So basically, if you can stomach 60 minutes of ex-misery; cleaning out exes closets, talking about exes, crying about exes, crying about new beginnings, a strip club visit or two and then crying about exes again, by all means, tune in! I rather shave my pubes.

Episode 1:

**side note/side-eye: for VH-1 playing a Kevin Hart commercial while I watched it online**

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WTF? Files: Kim Kardashian Inks #Selfie Book Deal

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted on 08-08-2014

Kim_Kardashian_selfie

Kim Kardashian is raking in millions with her nonsensical mobile app. Soon, she’ll be sitting on millions more, thanks to a new book o’selfies that hits shelves next spring.

SelfishSelfish” (how fitting!?!) will feature more than 300 pages of Kim being, well, vapid Kim. The book was reportedly inspired by a collection of selfies she took for her new hubby for Valentine’s Day. But, nothing is just for Kanye’s eyes. Natch, the book will be sold to the public in April of next year. “Selfish” will set you back $19.95 for the same crap you can see on Instagram.

Images via Instagram & Rizzoli
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Rocsi: Fetch Team Trade?

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 08-06-2014

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My Fetch Club Franchise Players have always been rock solid; LaLa Anthony, Rocsi “pick-an-accent” Diaz and Miss Keri Behbeh! Now, in case you’re new around these here parts, we call anyone “Fetch” who is just annoying as the song “Happy” was the 9344th time you heard it, or someone whose presence, smile and the way they spell their name is just irritating at fock. Which is how Rocsi got drafted. Now, there are more members out there; some are secret like the Il-loo-mi-nati and sometimes they switch out, sort of like a Fantasy Football League for Lames, but my franchise players have always remained in tact. Their doing, not mine. Until now. Rosci is acting like she wants to be traded. She’s apparently done breaking up ministerial marriages in Turks & Kinkos and more importantly far from her brief judgment lapse for dealing with Donkey! Ms. Raquel is keeping her head down, hosting shyt and sounding halfway decent unlike Karrythecoachbag Tran’s stint hosting the EBT Awards’ Red Carpet pre-show. But that’s another story.  Roc is seeming a wee less desperado now that those ET checks are coming in. I see you boo! I might need a new Safety soon – *eyes Kae*

 

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