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Witches' Brew | White Jesus Approved Rss

Brew Bits: Apollo Nida is Going Back to the Pokey

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted on 07-08-2014

"A Mother's Love" Opening Night

Phaedra Parks better brush up on her Sip N’ Send Off planning because her hubby is going back to his home away from home. Today, a Georgia judge sentenced Apollo Nida to 8 years in prison and 5 years of supervised release. He actually got off light since he was facing 30 years behind bars (*cough… he cooperated… cough cough*). All of this stemmed from Apollo’s conspiracy to commit bank fraud charges earlier this year. Apollo allegedly made up fake collection companies to access credit card info and that’s a no-no. Phaedra better sell some more donkey booty DVDs, tasers and tacky funeral packages since Apollo also owes $4.5 million in restitution. How soon before the “Phaedra: Single in the City” spinoff, Andy Cohen?

Image via Prince Williams/FilmMagic
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Bridal Shower Boo Boo

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 07-08-2014

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I just received the biggest insult today; an Evite to a bridal shower. Why would this innocent gesture itch my anus, you ask? Because I don’t recall getting ANY save the dates or an invitation to the actually wedding! Call me old school but this is beyond de tackay! I would have preferred the Evite to read “cattle call for gifts” because that’s exactly what this trick thought. This e-stank, which wasn’t even Paperless post, is the equivalent to a Hollywood ‘couch’ audition with a gross, sweaty movie ‘director/producer’ where I leave without my dignity for role that I’ll never get; it’s like a cold pop tart when I ordered a warmed Danish; it’s like fake dreads. Okay, I might be going overboard, but she can stuff her cucumber sandwiches.  So when did this become a thing?

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Cornball Corner: Khloe Kardashian

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 07-03-2014

rs_634x1024-140419101334-634.Khloe-Kardashian-French-Montana.jl.041914,<— the “Try Too Hard” awards goes to…

Despite what you think the reason this Kardashian is sitting in our Brew’s Cornball Corner has nothing to do with her sharing DNA with THE most vapid and annoying family in both Americas. She’s there because of that scuzzy scrotum head she calls her man, French Montana. The rapper’s wife, YES WIFE, Deen Kharbouch, the one he “Kevin Harted”, says French is ALLEGEDLY a deadbeat daddy who hasn’t seen their son in MONTHS. Maybe her claim is not 100% accurate, because there are two sides to every story, but I’m still giving the side eye because this isn’t the first time Khloe has dealt with a man who had kids. Actually, didn’t your HUSBAND Lamar Odom’s ex say you were not for the chulrren like that? I cannot respect any woman who thinks it’s okay to accept a Jeep Wrangler and other trinkets from a man who doesn’t see his offspring or even have a 529 plan for them. As his ‘rib’, you should be encouraging all that, feel me? So stew in the corner and figure out how does one’s life take them down the road to the land of fake Moroccan Bammas?

French Montana’s wife sub tweets:

What say you, Brewchies?

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Brew Salutes @TinyMajorMama

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Posted by Fleur Delacour | Posted on 06-30-2014

You want receipts? TMZ will provide them!
Tiny_2014-03-31_21-05
So last night at the Pookie EBT BET Awards, Tiny was doing interviews on the red carpet when Floyd Mayweather tried to say “hello, is it me you’re looking forrrrrrr?”…and then this happened:

Yassss girl, don’t let that messy boxing queen ruin your home sitch. #FIXJESUS

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Brew Review: Jane Iredale’s Magic Hour Makeup Collection

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Posted by Witch Hazel | Posted on 06-26-2014

Jane_Iredale_Magic_Hour_collection_collage

Summer’s here. Finally! It’s time for lighter makeup, fresh faces and pops of color. Jane Iredale’s new makeup collection –Magic Hour– arrived at my door just in time for me to test out her pretty neutrals and springy lip colors for the season. Hop over to my monthly review at Beautiful Brown Girls to see more pics, learn more about this makeup line and find out where to buy it.

Thanks to Jane Iredale for sending the products to review. All words and thoughts are my own.
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